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I'm in a terrible situation and it's affecting my son and I. I gave up my apartment to move in with a man I thought loved me. He has continued to cheat on me with several women, and constantly mentally and emotionally abuse my son and I. I pray to god I don't get a disease. I have been looking for a full-time job so that I can leave him, but nothing has come through. I have no family to turn to ... only God and prayer. I will never make this mistake again ... I have paid dearly and continue to pay for this mistake.
Everyone Makes Mistakes!! Just Try And Stay Away From The House Or Keep Your Son Away From Him As Much As Possible..go And Get Yourself Checked Out...i Will Keep You In My Prayers I Wish You Luck
I'm in a terrible situation and it's affecting my son and I. I gave up my apartment to move in with a man I thought loved me. He has continued to cheat on me with several women, and constantly mentally and emotionally abuse my son and I. I pray to god I don't get a disease. I have been looking for a full-time job so that I can leave him, but nothing has come through. I have no family to turn to ... only God and prayer. I will never make this mistake again ... I have paid dearly and continue to pay for this mistake.
well heres a sugjestion ummm TURN HIM IN TO THE POLIES DUHHHH
Do you have any friends you can stay with? If they know your situation, I'm sure they will be supportive. In the meantime, keep looking for the job. Be determined to get out. And while you are trying, stay out of the house as much as possible and let your son spend a lot of time with friends so he can be out of the house as much as possible. And remember, if he lays a hand on you or your child, go to the police and press charges. There are programs available for battered women. They will give you and your son a safe place to stay while you get yourself back on track.
You need an escape plan. He sounds extremely abusive and it's difficult to know how he'll react if you leave. Some abusive men become violent if the woman tries to escape his control. An escape plan is something you can learn about either from a battered women's shelter or from websites about abuse. But try to keep your plans secret from him. If he can check your browser--if he has acces to your computer, he might-- try to do your research at the libary or somewhere anonymous so he can't see what you have been reading. If you feel really confident that he won't get violent, fine. But still be careful. Basically the escape plan would consist of having your kids' records, your own financial papers etc, some money, a place to go he doesn't know about. Stuff like that.
You can do this. Be brave. It takes strength to put up with what you have been going through. Don't let him persuade you that you are weak, because you are not. He will likely sense that you are drawing away from him and escalate his abusiveness and manipulativeness. Try to keep your head clear of his games. When he tries to charm you or promises to change, don't believe it for a second. Good luck!
Leave right now, pack your things and go, they will help you get on your feet. Your child is your first priority, your sex life and feelings should come second. Live for your children. What would you tell your son to do?
You need an escape plan. He sounds extremely abusive and it's difficult to know how he'll react if you leave. Some abusive men become violent if the woman tries to escape his control. An escape plan is something you can learn about either from a battered women's shelter or from websites about abuse. But try to keep your plans secret from him. If he can check your browser--if he has acces to your computer, he might-- try to do your research at the libary or somewhere anonymous so he can't see what you have been reading. If you feel really confident that he won't get violent, fine. But still be careful. Basically the escape plan would consist of having your kids' records, your own financial papers etc, some money, a place to go he doesn't know about. Stuff like that.
You can do this. Be brave. It takes strength to put up with what you have been going through. Don't let him persuade you that you are weak, because you are not. He will likely sense that you are drawing away from him and escalate his abusiveness and manipulativeness. Try to keep your head clear of his games. When he tries to charm you or promises to change, don't believe it for a second. Good luck!
hello asking, that is why I said to leave right now. Like five second from reading this message! Don't even stay long enought to take the chance to be abused any more. The police can escort you back to go get your things! There was no guilt trip, I was just telling you to protect her child and herself! The more time you stay the more time you put risk to something bad happening. Are you kidding me? If this were my daughter and grandson, I would be there yesterday!
hello asking, that is why I said to leave right now. Like five second from reading this message!
I know you mean well. I understand the feeling of wanting to yank someone out of a bad situation. But it's still bad advice. Experts on abuse unanimously recommend an escape plan. If you leave precipitously without a plan and resources in place (papers, valuables, children, phone numbers of all your friends, whatever), you make forget something important that you need. The abuser will use that as a way to get back in touch with or control or hurt the victim. Without a plan, it's MUCH easier to end up back under the control of the person you are leaving. Also, the act of leaving is itself much more dangerous than just being there; escape needs to be planned as if it were dangerous because it is. Here's an example. <http://www.tufffemme.com/WomensCauses/escape.html> With children, there are a few more things to remember. If someone were in a combat situation and under fire, you wouldn't tell them to just run anywhere. This is like that. People who want to help need to stay cool and think clearly.
Didn't I say go to a shelter? And have the police escort her to get her things. I don't know why you would suggest somebody stay in a potentially violent situation, I have no idea where your experiences or training come from. BUT, if this was my daughter, I would have had been there yesterday. Please for the sake of all the children in this situation, don't suggest that they should stay one more minute for potential abuse. No paper work or fear should keep someone in a bad situation like this for one minute longer. If she has family or someone that could help, she should get out ASAP and not wait for a plan. That to me is a recipe for disaster. Watch the news every now and then.
You have some good points but it isn't worth the risk.
your situation sounds very much like mine. It's not so easy to just pick up and go. Most abusers will make sure you are alone. They start out like, where has this man been all of my life. then slowly begin to put wedges between anyone that is supportive to you. I don't know about you but his money is his money and my money is his money. They want you isolated. That is just the tip of the iceburg. God willing when i am finally free of this, i would really love to find a way to help women/families in this prison. There is not enough awareness about it and it is a VERY real problem. I would love to talk more if possible.
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