At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them
answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in
answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you
will be able to:
Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+
topics.
i Just Recently Had Sex After Not Having It For A While. Well Its Almost Been Two Weeks And I Really Have Been Thinking That All He Did Was Use Me. And Im Sure He Did Cause Guys Say Anything To Get Laid. But You Know How When Your Drunk And The Truth Comes Out Of People. Well Thats Kinda What Happened We Got Drunk And We Were At A Party And We Were Having Fun Flirting And What Not...he Was Telling Me That He Cares For Me So Much...and Mind You We Have Known Each Other For Almost Two Years And Have Always Been Attracted To Each Other Just Never Did Anything About It....so Backtracking A Little Bit...two Days Before I Went To Spend The Weekend With Him, He Had Called Me Out Of The Blue And Was Seeing How I Was Doing, I Was Telling Him That I Was Losing Weight And Changing My Hair And All That Good Stuff...and He Had Seen A Picture Of Me That Was About Four Years Old, And Asked Me If Im Going Back To That Girl And I Told Him That I Was Going To Try...so We Were Talking And He Was Pretty Much Cofessing Every Feeling That He Has Ever Had For Me....so Basically My Question Is Was It Wrong For Me To Put My Guard Down And Sleep With Him, I Didnt Think I Was Going To Feel This Bad. And How Can I Pick Myself Up Again, I FEEL USED AND IT UPSETS ME THAT I COULD BE SO STUPID. HOW CAN I MAKE MY SELF ESTEEM GO BACK UP WHERE IT WAS BEFORE THIS HAPPENED. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!!! Please Help. Im Sorry If I Confused Anyone With This!!!
well i thought we knew each other pretty well you know...ive known him for almost two years. i mean we saw each other everyday in college and when there was nothing to do he and i st there and talked!! and now i dont know if i should say something to him what should i do
Don't beat yourself up. It may not be how you are thinking- he may be taking time to mull it over or maybe is confused about your situation. I usually dont defend guys, but I really think that he would pull that on someone he didn't know so well.
BUT...
If he did play you, shame on him. Don't confuse your own self worth with his shallow view of intimacy, if that makes any sense.
You may have been too vulnerable for the situation even before getting tipsy. You are trying to lose weight and improve yourself, so focus on that to build yourself back up.
What do you think would have happened if alcohol had not been involved? Were you expecting a relationship to emerge at some point with this guy? It may be better that you found out now how he is. If the sex was good, at least you got something out of it.
In short, move on and don't let a man define how you feel about yourself
If he did play you, shame on him. Don't confuse your own self worth with his shallow view of intimacy, if that makes any sense.
In short, move on and don't let a man define how you feel about yourself
No nonsense, straight to the point. I like your style, pumi. I also like your signature. Being a smartass is fine, if you're humble about it and your heart's in the right place.
what do you mean...change the entire way that i live my life
Quote:
Originally Posted by pumibel
Don't beat yourself up. It may not be how you are thinking- he may be taking time to mull it over or maybe is confused about your situation. I usually dont defend guys, but I really think that he would pull that on someone he didn't know so well.
BUT...
If he did play you, shame on him. Don't confuse your own self worth with his shallow view of intimacy, if that makes any sense.
You may have been too vulnerable for the situation even before getting tipsy. You are trying to lose weight and improve yourself, so focus on that to build yourself back up.
What do you think would have happened if alcohol had not been involved? Were you expecting a relationship to emerge at some point with this guy? It may be better that you found out now how he is. If the sex was good, at least you got something out of it.
In short, move on and don't let a man define how you feel about yourself
YES SEX WAS GOOD AND NO I WASNT EXPECTING A RELATIONSHIP. AND IF ALCOHOL WASNT INVOLVED I DONT THINK THAT ANYTHING EXCEPT KISSING WOULD HAVE HAPPENED. I DONT KNOW I THINK I JUST MORE UPSET WITH MY SELF THAN I AM WITH HIM FOR THE FACT THAT I LET MY GAURD DOWN AND DID THAT...I WAS DOING GOOD WITH NOT HAVING SEX FOR LIKE 8MONTHS AND THEN BAM...GAURD DOWN ALCOHOL INDUCED SEX...SO TO SPEAK
If sexual abstinence was a personal goal for you, I can see why you feel disappointed with yourself, but don't be too hard on yourself. People go off the wagon. You didn't do anything terrible. You have your own reasons for celibacy, so maybe the experience can reinforce those reasons/goals to help you make your choices differently. You can spin it positive rather than overcriticizing your actions.
I am not insinuating that you are an alcoholic, but I'd suggest staying away from it if you want to maintain control in certain situations. All the non-drinkers I know avoid alcohol for exactly that reason.
If sexual abstinence was a personal goal for you, I can see why you feel disappointed with yourself, but don't be too hard on yourself. People go off the wagon. You didn't do anything terrible. You have your own reasons for celibacy, so maybe the experience can reinforce those reasons/goals to help you make your choices differently. You can spin it positive rather than overcriticizing your actions.
I am not insinuating that you are an alcoholic, but I'd suggest staying away from it if you want to maintain control in certain situations. All the non-drinkers I know avoid alcohol for exactly that reason.
NO IM NOT AN ALCOHOLIC AT ALL...AND WHEN IM DRUNK I USUALLY DONT DO THINGS LIKE THAT!! AND ABSTINANCE WAS A PERSONAL GOAL FOR ME BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN USED A LOT AND I DIDNT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN AND I WAS JUST PRETTY MUCH NOT HAVING SEX UNTIL I FOUND SOMEONE THAT I WAS GOING TO HAVE A DECENT LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP WITH!!!
Linear Mode
