You sound like you are confused.....how about going to Narcotics Anonymous so you can familiarize yourself with what it is like to have an internal framework for your life so you can function better?
Social security gives out two kinds of disability checks....ssdi and ssi. You might qualify for SSI if the doctors find you disabled.
Seems like you can do manual labor.....how about hanging our at Home Depot and pickup day jobs doing unskilled labor to get some money?
A head's up, people aren't as dumb as you think they are.
