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JPR67 · Feb 2, 2010, 08:32 AM

I am in my early 40s and have experienced a number of high-profile business failures. And the very public humiliation has left me shattered. Although I had some early success, I am viewed by my peers as a failure and a bit of a joke.
I am a single man in my early 40s and something of a loner having channelled all my energies into work and having always found it difficult to hold on to friendships.
I am awash in self pity and self loathing and full of remorse (shoulda, could have, woulda). I am on anti depressants and attend group therapy and I try to stay healthy but it feels like I am in a losing battle. I realise that this might be a good opportunity to refocus my values, etc. but I have lost the will to do anything except feel sad and abandoned. The old confidence has gone south in a very big way. The one thing I have retained is a fairly strong sense of humor but that too is slipping. Any advice? I would particularly like to hear from anyone who has gone through something similar.

tickle · Feb 2, 2010, 09:36 AM

I can't say I have been through what you are going through, but have experience with this in the elderly. Only there, it is far more serious and difficult to correct.

Glad to hear you still have your sense of humour because when one loses that, well, it is absolutely the end and a long spiral into deep depression.

I think you need an entire make over, not physical, but location; change your location, move on to somewhere brighter, healthier, Get healthier in mind, spirit and body and all you need to do all is a walk in the woods from time time. Join a hiking club, join any club, observe people while there and you will find a lot of insecurities and all of this can be overcome.

Just consider that you have run into a bump in the road, and make it the last bump in the road you will encounter. In fact encounter someone of the opposite sex, that would help big time.

Please realize you are not the only one having these problems.

Tick

LyraArtemis · Feb 3, 2010, 10:51 AM

I suggest taking up gardening. If you can't do that I suggest doing anything to get closer to nature and the Earth. Actually the reason for this is that being surrounded by something beautiful greatly helps. Try going on a trip where you will be surrounded by by as much beauty as possible. Appreciate that beauty with everything you have. Each time you do this you should feel a lot better. The world is a beautiful place all on it's own. We surround ourselves by society and often that can be quite draining.

happytimes · Dec 27, 2010, 05:31 PM

Hi, I have gone through a public humiliation in the past few years over a failure. I was deeply hurt by the way people treated me over it and still do. I am getting on with my life regardless and it has taught me how you know who your friends are and they are few and far between when your down.Having that said I am not letting these people dictate my life and although I sometimes feel bad about myself I have to let it go and concentrate on the future. I have failed but I am not a failure and I have achieved a lot in life as you have too. So what if you had a few failures you can still succeed and I'm sure you will, so keep on going and hold your head up high. Remember failure is not the falling down but the staying down.

apurav · Jan 20, 2011, 10:58 PM

Friends...
Humiliations and respect affects only the mind and ego..

Respect of people will not add a penny happiness into us and their humiliation will not less a penny happiness..
Become more intelligent rather trying to become efficient... utilities are efficient , humans shuld be intelligent...
Remember that we are accountable to our own self and God and no one else..