i have been depressed for a while now but all of the sudden it has gotten worse. Lately I have not only been depressed but also mad and kinda sad all at the same time and I dont even know why. For the past few days I have been thinging about getting drunk or high or huffing or cutting or popping pills. I have Bipolar so I thought maybe it was from that but I dont think I have ever felt this low before. For the past couple of days I have really considered suicide, a part of me says its stupid but another part tells me that things wont get any better. Im really scared of killing myself or getting into some really bad drugs. I dont know, I guess I think that if I get high the ill kinda forget about everything. I have even thought about doing something like beating someone up, just so ill get sent to juvy and wont even be able to get drugs or get myself killed. If I go to juvy though ill have to stay there for a year (untill im 18). I dont now if maybe its like a mood thing everyone feels when they get my age or what but I know i nedd some major help before I get myself hurt, or hurt someone else. ALSO my girlfriend all of the sudden stopped talking to me (she wont call me or IM me or anything). I dont know I just would like someone to help me figure out what to do. Please?
Just minutes after you posted this, you gave cherri blossom some great advice and encouragement, so I know it's in you to get through this. You know more and have more to give than you may appreciate when you're feeling down like this. Don't give up. Get help wherever you can, but popping pills and getting crazy and violent is not the answer. You can do better, I know you can. Hang in there, friend.
It sounds like you are in High school, maybe, since you are talking about "juvy". The pressures of being a teenager are hard enough, but you are also Bipolar. That has to be a volitile mixture. Instead of getting yourself in trouble, maybe you should find someone to help you- family, good friend (who doesnt abuse drugs), and go see your psychiatrist. I am assuming you have seen one before to have been diagnosed Bipolar. I am Bipolar, and I use medications to keep myself "even". We tend to self-medicate otherwise. If my meds are not working I shop too much- that is my drug of choice. It gets me into trouble just the same.
Not everyone needs meds, but that is an option. If you had high blood pressure you would take meds for it, so don't look at this differently- you have a serious condition.
About the girl friend- you need to help yourself first and then worry about why she is not talking to you. Whatever is the problem, it will be easier to face if you are well and in a calm state of mind.
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