Where to begin....Lets see my family thinks i'm spoiled, my dad hates me, my family hates me, i have quite a few friends but they are never there when i need them, I can admit i'm not good looking i know i dont really have a good looking face, i like a girl that is waaay out of my league that i really do have extremely strong feeling for, but i feel like she doesnt even care for me. I suppose the main reason i'm turning to suicide is because no one really cares for me here. This website is my last resort most of the other times i've tried talking to friends but they seem to go into the shadows (strayed off subject) when i talked to them. I've tried changing my style of look and maturity but people for some reason still view me as the same old loser that i probably will always be. I've had my whole entire career planned out, I want to become a advanced marksmen in the Marines and then retire from that and just become a cop and then thats all. But my friends always give me crap about how i'm to weak to be in the military and that i will never be able to make it into the marines and all that. I get so much crap from bullies at school that sometimes i want to bring a gun to school just to get rid of them but i know that is not the right thing to do. But i think the main reason why i'm considering suicide is because i just really hate my life, i always told myself i'm either gonna die alone or i'm gonna take down everyone i hate. As you can see i'm not sure what to do but thats why i've come here for some good advice hopefully. And if you are this far of reading it thank you for taking your time to hear me out. I've always thought ive had a good heart but no one would notice.

ChihuahuaMomma

I think the reason you are so depressed is because you are worrying too much about other people.

Just a little bit of advice, focus on YOU. YOU are the most important person in the world. Love yourself, that's the only way you can realistically expect someone else to love you. Love who you are, what you look like, and what you are. Then someone(s) else will. Don't focus on this girl, if she hasn't given you the time of day yet, then she's not worth it, and you are too good FOR HER.

Things I would suggest to build your self-esteem within yourself FOR yourself are:
--Wearing what makes you feel great (not what impresses others); if this clothing does both then awesome.
--DO what makes you happy. This means hobbies and activities. Find a hobby that is fun and makes you happy. There's a great hobbies section here where you can talk to people about theirs.
--Be happy with your appearance. Look at the glass as half full not half empty. Don't say, "Oh my nose is ugly, I have glasses and zits", say, "Man, my hair is really nice, i have a killer tush and look at those eyes!" Focus on the good. Even work out some. Build your muscles and spirit. Trust me. Someone said to me and I was like, "What the eff are you talking about?" Exercising is such a great time to spend time with yourself. It's a good thinking time. And if you exercise in front of the mirror you can admire your assets. I do :P. I was also thinking of getting some motivational cds to listen to while working out. If you decide to try this before I do, let me know how it goes.

Basically, just know that you are a wonderful person. You just need to realize it!

firmbeliever

If you were to let life takes its course you may find that all things are not so bad,there are lighter moments in life.

Find a calming hobby/past time.Look for something that will help you physically let go of the aggression,learn martial arts or if you like quiet thinking type hobbies find something that suits you.There are so many options out there especially in this age,the net has so many resources for you to search through and find something that will suit you.

Other people in our lives are going to be there as themselves not as who we want them to be (most of the time).We must adjust our own thinking and find inner peace.

As I do believe in a life after death,my advice on suicide would be that you may find yourself in a worse situation than you are in now and there are no ways to come back to this life where you at least had a choice of moving on or staying,or letting go.

I know a friend who is in a similar situation,still trying to help but not sure if I am getting through to him,it is sad but it would be his choice whichever route he takes.He too has his issues but then who doesnt have issues,they are quite far and few.

There are so many with limbs missing either born that way or lost them in accidents etc.Some fight so many hard battles with illnesses and come out stronger.
As long as we are physically healthy we just need to put in a little more effort to find the inner strength.
No matter who you are with it is how you feel about yourself that is most important.
If you feel less than adequate no matter how everyone sees you,you will still find yourself lacking.

Please do keep posting here and I am sure you will find you are not the only one who feels the way you do.Hopefully you will gain something from the Desk as I am sure we will from you and your experience.

simoneaugie

You sound both serious and smart. Your friends change the subject on you because what you are saying is heavy. They are in a different space and maybe want to have lighthearted fun. That doesn't make you any less alone but I know you understand what I'm saying.

What would be really great is if you could sit down with someone in your family and tell them how unwanted and frustrated you feel. Can you talk to a cousellor at school? How about therapy where you can just talk and get an objective opinion?

The advise above about using exercise to help de-fuse things is good. You are angry, with valid reasons. Sometimes life gets dismal. Being in an in-between stage of growing up is a challenge too. I'm older than you, but I've been there. It's OK to be serious, just remember that the person you are talking to is in another space. Sure, sometimes people are too engrossed with themselves to listen. Frequently they don't completely get what you're saying. But that doesn't make you less.