Hi all. Thanks for reading this.

Well.. I'm a 18 year old girl. I come from a wealthy family and can buy anything I want go anywhere I want. I study in one of th top colleges in my country. People also always tell me tt I'm pretty,hot,sexy and guys always check me out and ask me out all th time. Not only boys, but girls also say they love how I look and my style and always ask me for such kind of advice.

But, why do I still feel so unhappy with myself?
When I look at myself, I see so many flaws. I hate myself and I feel talentless too. Although I've excelled in diff forms activities and hobbies, it feels to me like it's all little insignificant achievements in various fields tt amount t nth in th end. Like, I don't seem t have an innate talent like people around me all have.

My boyf is gorgeous and he's really musically inclined and is in a band tts doing better and better too. And he always talks about why people like celebs like Paris Hilton for example who have no talents. Or how girls who just club a lot and are very pretty have no talents but are famous. But then, he has also said tt he is a very shallow person and cares a lot about looks. This makes me so insecure because I feel I have neither.. I know if my boyfriend is with me and loves me so much, I must fulfill those 2 criteria but I can never keep this in my he'D for long.. I end up hating myself again..

U know.. it's like I feel I have to always look extremely pretty. All the time. I hate my legs I hate my hair I hate my face.. everytime I see a girl who's pretty or if my boyfriend says some girl is really great at singing/guitar and hot too I get so depressed..

I've tried t learn th guitar before and can play simple stuff but it's not as though I don't love music, I do so much! But even till now, I just seem to suck at it? It's useless. I can't be good at anything..

I hate myself so much.. I've so many imperfections and I don't think I can ever succed in life and be th kind of person I aspire to be..

I'm even going for a nose job soon because I think my nose is so large and I hate it a lot.. my boyfriend supports this too.

I want to feel genuinely happy.. I want to feel like I can go out, look like crap, and all my frens and boyfriend and ppll around me will still like me for who I am...

Hi, AnonymousGirl28!

Lets start simply...

What do you like about yourself, please?

Thanks!

So long but full story... your problem is you don't love yourself rather your love other and try to fulfill others all requests.you are short of space for yourself. Better do two things. One write down all your things which you have but not everyone has and second don't try to become perfect because you can't if you are human, every person has different like and dislike and you can't entertain all so better enjoy the things you have rather go for the things which you don't have and boys really are some very strange creature. They just keep changing their views and behaviour so don't worry about that. If he truly loves you then he ll not leave you but if not then its his loss... by the way boys don't like the girls who complain so much so try to enjoy the things you have and really you have a lot of things to enjoy but you keep looking in others. Look in yourself and stop for a moment to check your uniqueness.

Hi clough and zaithe, thanks for answering.

Well, it's not tt I have nth about myself tt I like... but zaithe like what you said really hits the spot.
I always am trying to be everything tt everyone ard me likes and feel is the set 'ideal'. For e.g. although someone would tell me like my hair looks great but then if another(ESP if it's my bf) says like girls with -insert trait- are really attractive then I'll feel immediately inadequate and inferior. Idk if it's th way I've been brought up but I just can't stop being so hard on myself and comparing myself like I HAVE t be perfect t th people around me.
I do have my up moments like when I'm out with my Boyf or really good frens.. but when I'm alone, I always end up feeling depressed and insecure... my self esteem is really shakey and any negative comments made on me is like a really huge blow.

I don't know hw t explain this but I feel like my worth depends only on how I look? Like boys smile at me because they think I look pretty right? And sometimes my boyfriend will be less affectionate if I happen t wear smth he doesn't like and this makes me so upset I feel like crying..

I'm nt trying t be ungrateful too for all tt I have because I really am..

You have all the rights to feel insecure because it sounds like you try so hard to be his dream girl that you are losing yourself. Do you really feel comfortable hanging around his crowd? Are people he hangs around extremely superficial, too? If you have doubts that if you don't look the way he likes and if you don't feel comfortable hanging around the people he likes, then you are in a wrong relationship. You can fool yourself and try to be happy or pretend to be happy, but this would only make you more insecure about yourself. If you stay in this relationship further, you may lose your self-confidence You need to be where you feel comfortable and don't have to be fake all the time. I don't want to sound harsh, but this is the reality.

My sense is that you're too focused on yourself.

It's a vicious circle, you hate yourself because you think about yourself too much and you have an unrealistic view of what other people's expectations of you are, you think they see you as you see yourself so you hate yourself more, and so it goes round.

I understand what you're feeling, and I hear that it's genuine. But think about it. Stand back for a moment and really look at it. It's self indulgent. Totally self absorbed.

This is going to sound odd, but you can't begin to like yourself until you develop genuine love and concern for other human beings. In other words, you have to take the focus off yourself.

You come from a privileged background where you can have everything material that you desire. In today's society, people would consider you to be blessed, and you are. Why don't you try doing some things for others? Why don't you try taking the focus off yourself - how pretty you are or are not, how talented you are or are not and do something meaningful with part of your time to help other people that are not as blessed or as privileged as yourself?

I'm honestly not trying to be trite or to demean how you're feeling. I understand that it's real for you. What I'm trying to suggest is that you take the time to connect with other people via activities where you can contribute your time and your compassion and your energy. None of thee things require you to look pretty or be talented. All they require is for you to be thinking of others and to take the focus off yourself.

There are plenty of self help books that you can read to assist in restoring your confidence. But in the end it's our daily activities and what we do with our time to make it meaningful that helps us to feel fulfilled as human beings.

Stop being so hard on yourself. No one is perfect and no-one expects you to be perfect. Give yourself a break from making judgments about what you 'should' or 'ought' to be and from writing lists of your imperfections. No one likes people that are this self obsessed.

Try to just accept things as they are, and yourself as you are. You are perfectly imperfect. Remind yourself daily about how blessed you actually are.

Text talk is against the rules, please use English.

Hello again AnonymousGirl28,
Well you know you can't be Britney spears or Paris Hilton or mother Teresa isn't ? You are You a totally different and unique. Does you ever heard that Britney follows Hilton or Mother Teresa but still she is famous and like same others are... why? Because they know they are unique and what they will do ll be become fashion or ideal for people. I know it take times to get rid of this inferior problem but it only improves if you try to satisfy with yourself. One thing more you just afraid of loneliness and too sensitive. Try to read something or listen music or do some hobbies things when alone. It will divert your mind.
You just can't fulfill all desires of your BF if he thinks this way. Many boys like Paris Hilton but does this mean their girlfriend should be 100% Paris Hilton?? No?
Just Be Yourself and enjoy what you have and you can try to be perfect but I think no one is perfect not even our parents. They have done many things wrong in their life but the difference is they don't told us all that. Your boyfriend do many stupid things but he also don't told you or you just ignore them so see nobody around you is perfect not even the leaders if you study their life. Many big leaders has very messy marriage life but still people love them...
My advise is just stop following others and just try find the beauty in yours things not others. Just enjoy your loneliness with your work you like or music. Just stop your brain to think about what other think and you already have lots of thing which others only wish for so enjoy them and You know You really are a Blessed person I am sure.