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Hey guys i dont know whats going on but i recently i can feel like im falling away and im starting to break. I need something or someone to keep me alive. Im starting to fall apart. I feel as if no one cares and empty inside like im already dead. Im no longer the same. I've been in the dark for so long and i dont know what to do anymores. I need some sort of a sign, anything will do to show me the way.
Anyways thanks for reading. I need some advice. Thanks.
Well, i write music all the time. I actually wanted to form a band and i know a few who do around the campus but i would like to just do solo stuff for now cause im not ready. I play the piano and guitar and took lessons for many years and now im taking vocal lessons. Kind of in the rock genre.
So yah i've actually been doing many stuff towards it. I dont think thats the problem though, i mean it could be. I think its some sort of inner conflict.
I dont know myself. I guess i would like to know if i was to die, if anyone would really care i mean my family would. I just feel really dark lately and i wanna hide behind the shadows. Anyways maybe its best if i dont think of it anymore.
ive been there none,and i stayed in that place for quite sometime,the thing about it was only when i look back can i see how close to the edge i really was.
i had children,a home,money was good,but still the morbid feeling and thoughts persued my days and nights..i even made plans...
there was no one to talk with,no where to go....eventually i found my way to the gp...i just sat there...did not say a word.she offered me sleeping tablets,but i told her i would most likely take the lot,so she didnt do that...
what she did do was give me a number of a councillor....i refused meds,and i refused to live inside a bottle,so i talked and walked,and talked,and eventually talked my way out of that hell i was in.....no one knew how close i was,i hid it well.
perhaps none,its time to take a closer look at whats going on in your mind,not your brain...
If you can't pull yourself out of it and you don't know what it is - time to go talk to a good counselor.
I think you sound depressed - and I understand, because I've been there. Depression, although it's difficult, can be a way of finding yourself if you are able to see it as a process.
The thing that really worked for me was to bypass the intellectual part of my brain - I went to a really good kinesiologist who did body work on me for a couple of months and released what I was feeling through my body. If you don't feel like using a conventional counselor there are alternative practitioners that can really be of assistance.
What also worked was doing things I enjoyed. I had to force myself. Part of me didn't want to be with people, but I was always better after I had been. So, follow up on the music stuff. See who is round campus that wants to join you and just jam.
The other thing - get out into the fresh air. Get some sun and walk where there are trees and flowers. Or, go down to the beach, if one is close.
Amicon mentioned getting funny movies and having a laugh - great suggestion. It stops you thinking and gets you smiling. They say that even pretending to smile can make you feel better!
Hey guys, right now i just feel very sad and i dont know why. I think i might be depressed. I think its because i feel alone. Im the type of person that likes to be around people but i dont have much friends to be around so im always by myself.
Sometimes i just wonder what the purpose of living is and does it really matter if i live or not. I asked my friend and he told me a life you dont live is still lost but i dont see that for some reason.
I really dont know whats going on. Nothing good has ever happened to me, or at least i dont think it has. I might be blind to the good things but i seriously doubt that is the case. My life is such in the lows for so long and i've been waiting for some sort of miracle or sign to give me the strenth to live on.
But yah i think back to when i was younger. I used to have so many friends and everyone was around me. But one day my family and i moved to a different city and i lost touch with all my friends. It was the start of high school.
From that point on, i have stopped socializing as much as i used to and it has been harder to make friends, although i did make a few good friends and i have no idea what happened to them. Lost touch with them too. My self esteemed has lowered and i dont feel comfortable anymore.
Now i have moved again to a different city for university. All the little progress i have made since i moved the first time has all vanished and i feel like im starting all over again. Perhaps i feel a little home sick and miss the usual things. Perhaps i dont like change and i dont adapt too well to change.
Anyways sorry i ran on, blah blah blah, i just had to get it out and tell this to someone. Right now i dont know exactly how i feel or where to go from here...
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