Feelings of indifference

Makaylha · #1 Feb 26, 2003, 01:45 PM

Ever since I was 13 I have been depressed. But it seems that lately (at least for the past 5 years) I have been falling into a time of indifference annually. I have had all kinds of bad luck since I was 9 but I tried to deal with it on my own and thought I had done a fairly decent job until now. I have this pattern I need to overcome too. When in a relationship I tend to get rid of the guy as soon as "the new" wears off or just when I start to think "wow, he treats me great". I know this all seems to be going in different directions (and it is) but I can't think straight anymore. I have been unemployed for 6 months now (I am looking though) and I keep having this feeling that something in my life needs to change (this is part of the annual thing)and I don't know what it is. Any advice is helpful. Thanks.

dwalex · Mar 6, 2003, 11:07 AM

It sounds like to me that you are looking for meaning and value in life. You get some satisfaction out of relationships which gives you a false sence of meaning but when the "new: wears off the false meaning no longer gives you satisfaction. True joy in life comes from living a life that has meaning. A model on how to accomplish this is:

VALUES - You must determine what values give you purpose, what things you are willing to fight for. For most people this involves a spiritual process and getting one's relationship with God in order.

GOALS- There are countless studies that demonstrate that goal driven people live longer and happier lives. To be meaningful, your goals must reflect your values. Having goals that involve giving of oneself back to others or society as whole has also been shown to give life meaning.

PRIORITIES - Once you have goals, you need to set priorities on what actions you should take in the next month or so to move towards those goals. These priorities give your life dirrection.

DAILY DECISIONS - Daily decisions become easier once you have the other three variables in place. You find it easier to get out of bed and get going because your behaviors are dirrected towards your priorities and a reflection of your goals and values. Life now has meaning on a daily basis.

A few more words about relationships. Stay out of them untill you have the other things in place. Once you experience the joy of living outside of a relationship, a healthy relationship will add to that joy, not be the sole source of joy in your life.

Don't be afraid to seak professional help if you feel you are in a rut you cannot get out of.

best wishes,
dwalex

chaz1797 · May 16, 2003, 02:42 AM

You know you come first and it looks like you need to work on personal issues and get a grip on your life before you think about getting into someone elses life and maybe both be miserable...........you need to build your self esteem and get couseling on your issues............best of luck and God bless

chaz

mighty_mommy · Jun 30, 2003, 10:58 PM

I am 32 years old and remember going through much of the same things that you are describing and I have learned that you are the only person that you have to live with for the rest of your life. Not that what you are doing is wrong because if it were right then you wouldn't change things so often. Find something beautiful in each day and remember it before you go to sleep, today mine was a rainbow that I saw in a sprinkler. It doesn't have to be a life changing thing, just something that made you smile. Things aren't going to get easier, but if you remember these simple things you might be able to sleep better at night.
Mighty Mommy

elrp · Nov 26, 2003, 02:58 PM

It's a hard situation you're in and it will take a lot of will power to get out of the routine but you can do it. It's not impossible to change the way things are.

Maybe going to a doctor about your depression should be a first step. Because it's been so long you're probably finding it really hard to cope. It may sound silly, but they really can help.

Finding something you have a great intrest in can make you feel a lot better and raise your confidence.

Not much else to say, the others seem to have covered it

Scorpio848 · Jun 27, 2004, 02:16 PM

I feel the same way ALL THE TIME. And the only thing that comes close to making sense is the post by dwalex. I have a genious IQ. I am the smartest person my whole family has ever known. But I have never done anything with it. I am always depressed. I know that deep down, it is because I could be more than I am. But, you can not take it back. The only thing you can do is move forward. I struggle everyday. Good luck to you.

Jahiem28 · Aug 10, 2004, 09:13 PM

Hi Sorry to hear about the trouble your having. It not a good idea to try and deal with a serious problem that your having alone. You need good friends as a support group or maybe even a doctor who u can express your worry and wants in life to. You have to discover who you truly are before you can let anyone else(boyfriend) in your inner circle. GOOD LUCK take care

artistall · Aug 28, 2004, 05:46 PM

Where you born in June? Are you Gemini? Do you think that you will ever reach that point of total satisfaction or will you continually peruse through life looking for the stimuli that excites you for the moment? Are you capable of making commitments? Are you aware that your emotional behavior will most likely spill over into your career and empoyment aspirations while greatly affecting your economic standing? Do you play lotto hoping to achieve financial independence? I was just curious so can you email me?

chaz1797 · Sep 2, 2004, 11:17 AM

You know I wrote to you severak months ago about this this situation and it sadens me to hear you are still trying to cope with this. You need to ask yourself what it is you want in life, measure the pros and the cons and what is going to be beneficial to you.

In life we have our ups and downs but it works to be able to deal with the issues and move foward and if you made a bad judgement them revisit the sitituation and work on it, you have to stop thinking that something wrong is going to happen.

I mentioned in my last respond to you rhat you beede to work on your self esteem, search for groups in your area that are going to help you through some of your problems and get involved in your community, you would be surprised on how much you have to offer others, who are going through the same issues, sometimes two heads work better than one or more.

Think about having God in your life, sometimes I feel that everyday is going to be a bad one but if I continue to think that then i am bring on problems that don't need to excist. You would be surprided on how much having God in your life will make a difference............try it and get back in touch.Good luck and God be with you I will pray for you and your situation and pray that our God will help you through this, and then you can thank him because he is awsome..........



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