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Home > Health & Wellness > Mental & Emotional Health   »   I'm i crazy

 
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Old Jul 28, 2006, 02:35 PM
corriehac
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I'm i crazy

I feel so down. My mother died 2 years ago at the young age of 56, we were so close. Soon after my aunt died and my grandmother all in the same year.This same year i had a miscarriage. things started to look better then a 11 year old boy burned down my house in the middle of the night. he was a neighbor. the police could not do anything because of lack of evidence everything but our lives were lost we have 7 children 6 girls and one boy. we had no insurance. the house was paid for. we had to move in with my brother and his wife and their two children in a 3 bedroom house wich at one time was my moms. someone called children and families because so many people lived in one house my brother opted to move so the children were not taken. so he and his family now live somewhere else i owe him everything but feel bad that he gave his home to us . the home is in very bad shape their are holes in the walls the wires are bad. Me and my husband work very hard . we use to own a lawning mowing but when the house went up so did are buss. I know work for my other brother he takes advantage knowing that i cant go no were else because we need to work everyday to support are family. he pays me only 8.50 and my husband 7.50 and hour new people make way more than we do with no exp. making counter tops. then he added insult to me by knowing we had to tear down the house because fines were staking up and the county would take it we would go out every weekend a 65 mile or more drive to tear it down with our bare hands. he instead of offering help said here is 1,500 for the property,you cant afford to tear it down i had no choose at least the children can visit and see their old friends.I cant quite because any time off would throw me deeper in debt. I feel so hopeless. everything is gone. Yes we have our lives that is great. but not much else. i feel that I am helpless and noone cares i cant hold my head high any more. the money is gone before i even get paid there will never be a nice home for us again. i dont have my mom to talk to anymore she would always tell me things would get better. my bother who moved to let us take over the mortgage here i feel i have displaced him and his family and my other brother whom i work for i feel all he cares about is himself. i have had no raise in year, now that he owns my property he gotten the house tour down and tells eveyone about his lake property. i feel hopeless and that i cant stop feeling sad i just want life to be a little nicer for us i want to see the children laugh again. i promised them that when the house burned we would build a better house i lied. i failed then as a mother then i promised we would fix this house i cant even get school clothes ! I keep trying. and trying to get ahead. why do i have like iam going crazy. that i will never be happy again. thank you for reading this i have noone else to talk to take care

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Old Jul 28, 2006, 04:00 PM   #2  
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I am very sorry you are experiencing such hardship and hope that you are able to end your suffering soon by finding the way to a better life.
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Old Jul 28, 2006, 04:25 PM   #3  
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I am so sorry you are going through all of this.

On the bright side, you most likely qualify for a house from Habitat for Humanity. Check out this website. http://www.habitat.org/

My family is highly involved in our local chapter and if you lived in our community you would more than qualify. Please check this out, it could be your bright side.
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Old Jul 28, 2006, 06:42 PM   #4  
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I am so sorry, I wish there was something I could do. I will tell you it will work out. Keep your head up and keep looking for a better opportunity. Do not accept this as the way it will always be. Think of the advice your mother would have given you and follow it. She is still with you. Believe in you and your husband and believe it will get better. I can not believe you will not get a break.
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Old Jul 28, 2006, 09:43 PM   #5  
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Perhaps God is testing your faith in yourself and your family?

Hard work creates luck, so all you have to do is continue to work hard and things will turn around for you... but I wouldn't be foolish about it - With 7 kids, you're better off going on social assistance than working at minimum wage.

Focus on rebuildng your lawn business... You did it once before, you can do it again - better and faster than before. Maybe one of your brothers can help you get started???
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Old Jul 28, 2006, 09:49 PM   #6  
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sitting here thinking ,its hard to sleep sometimes i cant face the children they look to me so supply them with the things they need i feel i have failed thank you for writing someday maybe my life will change but for now life has stalled i live for my children they are my world with out them i would not need a home or to work . i lost everything but my children,i hope someday they can fogive me and still respect me as thier mom. someday we live in a nice home again. thank you
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Old Jul 29, 2006, 12:38 AM   #7  
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You need to take the advice others have given you and work towards getting that new home. Family, the most important experiance in the family is Love. When hard times befall on any of us. All we have left is love and that is what you need to show your children. You have nothing to be ashamed of at all. Love is the greatest gift you can give your family. You have that and you have everything.

Joe
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Old Jul 29, 2006, 05:03 AM   #8  
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i love my children they are my world every one that has written seems so nice its all good advice this moring i am watching my daughter cierra 8 feed small puppies she found that some one dropped of to young to leave thier mother she is taking so good care of them. i charish moments like this.I dropped my oldest daughter off at work she is 20,she to id helping trying to make a better life for her sisters and brother. I tell her to go to collage and be a teacher like she wanted to be but right know she says she wants to stay here and be with her family. I feel that her life is on hold because of us.she is talented writer! she is wasting her life trying to help us. I dont want to see her struggle all her life for what has happened to our family. before the fire she had hundreds of books , she grad. with honors and had a bright future. now she seems to be scared that she thinks she needs to stay . the day after the fire i watched her cry and look at all her books burned she sifted threw the ashes all she found was her high school ring in a burned up purse she clutched it and has never taken it off her finger since that is the only thing that she was able to retrieve. you can see the pain in her eyes everyday she now shares a bedroom with with 3 sisters the room is barly big enough for the one bunk bed. the all share she never says anything but i know its hard on her. I should be making life better for her this is her time to shine . her youth is being taken away. I am so mad at this little boy his hatred has distroyed our lives . the police were told earlier in the day about the boy they were called on him because he took out a nieghbors windows and was shooting birds leaving then lie dead in yards he thought my daughters called the police did nothing still my heart is sad because i know he will never get the help he needs his step father was in prison and his mother doesnt care what the boy does a week after the fire the picked up and moved. again the police said there is no evedicne but he is the only one that could have done it. he new the back window did not lock he new sadie was staying at a friends that night. he entered threw that back window while we slept and started the fire. the dogs were barking terry went out but only checked the one side of the house soon after i smelled smoke the house was on fire we went room to room to retrieve each child my oldest jumping out a window cierra had gone back in in the rush still sleepy not relizinig the house was on fire terry rushed back in after a head count screaming cierra threw the smoke he felt her hair she had gone back to sleep on the couch. the children had to small puppies in the house they died that night you could hear their screams they sounded like a child crying for help a nieghbor brought the children into her home as not to let then hear the death of the puppies windows were popping i still can not believe i was so stuppid not to have ins. it was so high. the house was paid for we worked so hard to get the house and the children loved the lake i need to go the other children are getting up and i need to cook breakfast. at three i will go pick up jennifer from work and another day will soon end for me i thank god we made it threw god give me hope to keep going dear god have pitty on us please show me the way love corrie
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