1. What is fear?
2. What causes fear?
3. What are some physical signs of fear?
4. How do you get over fear?

This can be just general scientific answers or personal answers. I need someone elses points of view.

valinors_sorrow

Ah, fear.... this has to be my number one topic lol.

People often confuse fear with anxiety. Fear is mostly a good thing, anxiety is not. Fear is part of our biological safety system and when we feel it strong enough lots of interesting things occur. We get what's called a big adreneline dump that charges us up physiologically in order to deal with the threat. Hearts race, breathing increases and changes in nature, senses heighten, pupils dilate... in many ways it all mimics sexual arousal too, isn't that wild? Its only temporary and the back side of it is like a being in shock or hung over but it is what permits us to say, lift a car off a child and other phenomenal things.

The best book I have read on it (and I have read a bunch too) is by Gavin De Becker called The Gift of Fear. Do yourself a kindness, Aqua, and get that book - very easy to read and VERY enlightening.

My life was, at one time, ruled almost exclusively by fear. If you have ever heard of the story of "The Girl In The Box"... without going into the gory details I have a similar past. Being trapped in fear for me is from PTSD since its a result of experienced trauma. Being trapped in fear without the trauma to explain it could be paranoia or phobias, which have multiple forms. I have made a very concerted effort to journey into wellness using many things, the most potent of which is literallty hundreds of hours of professional help. As a result of the journey that I can tell you that the antidote to fear is not bravery, its love strangely enough. I am slowly replacing all my fear-based reactions with love-based ones. It is still very challenging.

I could write reams more here but I am not sure if this is all on target for you. Have you seen Chava's post about PTSD? Thanks for great topic and I hope this helps.

J_9

Got the ole spread it message.

I love Val's answer, spoken directly from the heart and experience. Heart and experience are sometimes better than classroom learning.

As for the first paragraph, that is the good old Flight-or-fight mechanism at work. The hypothalamus is responsible for that if I do remember correctly.

aqua@home

Thanks Val, that was a great answer. I will definately look for that book.

What is the difference between fear and anxiety? Is there a real difference?

valinors_sorrow

Yes there is a very big difference and unlocking that was a big hurdle in my recovery. I can clearly remember when my therapist first went through it with me...

Fear is about immediate reality or a delusional reenactment of it, if you are stuck in something like a PTSD flashback would be. Fear is useful in that there is something to do NOW in response to something that is happening NOW. Fear is a good thing and we need it - that book I suggested will show you why and eloquantly so too! Trouble with me is I can jam when triggered into a flashback ... and the jamming is called a dissociative episode. And THAT is why I was kinda "hyper" about going to the firing range with a friend, if you were reading the Right To Bear Arms thread at all? Had to practice lots of "how's my now" (more on that in a moment) in order to stay in the present at the firing range, let me tell you!! LOL And just so you know, hyper is not the same as anxious though, its more like "Defcon 3"... its just a heightened state of alertness, okay? I become more mindful of things without necessarily fretting anything. It helped that I went to the range with a really good friend who knows about me too; I wouldn't have been able to go any other way.

Anxiety is about imagined non-reality and being fearful or overwhelmed somewhere in the future. After you have experienced a big dose of real fear, especially if it was life threatening circumstances, its very easy to fall into a state of constant anxiety. Its like the fear has an echo and you keep feeling it, reacting to it. You could say you learn to fear the fear, if that makes sense? And more people suffer from it than I care to count. There is a reason someone famous (I forget now who exactly) said "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself!" And I have just about totally conquered that...(does a proud of myself ballerina twirling around dance for y'all! LOL) And you can too!

It simply stopped one day for me when someone said flatly, you CANNOT solve problems you don't have yet. I know that seems incredibly simple but it is how it happened. It was like BOOM! I don't fear the future anymore. I live in the now and if I am ever tempted to crank up some good old fashioned anxiety, I chant to myself... "How's my Now?" over and over until I get it... HEY, my NOW is FINE! You may have seen me post that on another thread... very useful! And over time I have come to trust that, if and when a problem occurs, I will either have the resources to meet it, or I will go find them from someone else. There is a lot of help in the world Aqua, and I would like you to know that. If you don't have that kind of confidence, maybe let's work on that, okay? Its important that you feel you have back up.... everyone needs support like that.

Of course, someone more learned could come along and correct me on the differencea, which would be just fine... this is just my personal working definitions, okay Aqua? Hopefully I haven't made your head hurt LOL. Good questions.... have any more?

aqua@home

Thanks Susan...that was a very useful answer. I realize now that I think I have more anxiety than fear. Things are a little confusing right now. Anxiety doesn't help. I will find the book and hopefully that will help. Maybe truely the only thing that would help is dealing with what the anxiety or fear is about. Thanks again.

valinors_sorrow

I agree about getting to the bottom of it and then practicing something along the lines of the simple Serneity Prayer:

"God grant me the serenity to the accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference."

Its a good tool that has been used by countless people who struggle with life for a variety of reasons.
And you never know....it may be possible Aqua with a little do-able change much relief springs forth, you know?

Cassie

Great post, but have to spread it around. Winston Churchill was the one who made the statement.

Cassie

Fear is a thought, but one that often can keep you from feeling free. It can make you afraid of the unknown that may never happen. If fear gets out of control it can turn into obsessions, paranoia. One can be cautious and alert without being fearful. Actually fear is nothing, an illusion in the mind. Anxiety becomes the actual physical feeling you get when you become fearful. It also in reality is often based on nothing, but a thought.

Just a thought of mine. When I was very young I was afraid of the dark, of being alone, I hated those feelings. A very wise soul came into my life and helped me so much.. My X was in law inforcement and used to get so frustrated with me because he thought I was not afraid which made me careless. I was not careless, I was cautious. (Well, most of the time).
When I started looking at it as nothing it helped. Not to say I would dismiss an uneasy feeling when someone or a situation made the "back of my hair stand on end" so to speak. I became aware, and listened to my intuition, caution would set in.

As I said, just a thought, Val's is fact.

aqua@home

It is a good thought. I believe 100% in listening to your intuition. I do that all of the time. I believe it has saved my butt more than I care to remember. Thanks for your posts.