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I have alot going on in my personal life because I am involved in an extensive custody battle for my daughter, we currently have joint custody. Most recently he has decided that he interprets the parenting agreement to say that he has her this year for Christmas Eve AND Christmas morning, it has never been this way in the past.
I am really reacting poorly from the stress and I have caught myself snapping the last 24 hours on both of my children. I am not sleeping well and I haven't been for a couple of months. I know that this is situational stress, but what are the best ways to handle it? Are there herbal remedies? I know I could take anti-depressants (I used to take them when I was married to my ex) but I know that I won't need them for long, just for the time being and I remember how difficult it was to stop taking them because I really felt depressed then. Any suggestions for situational anxiety when you can't adjust the situation at this time?
He gets them Christmas Eve from 12 noon to either until 10 p.m. or overnight until 10 a.m. Christmas morning (his option) even yrs 2006, 2008,...
You get them that time frame odd years like 2007
Which isn't what I agreed to with joint custody. So I guess I am SOL for Christmas my favorite holiday and our child can spend a majority of it with him. Hense the reason I am p-ed off and snappish. That seems like a fair arrangement, Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with one parent.
I don't even have to let my son see his father, there isn't any arrangement with him and I have allowed my son to spend Christmas Eve with him EVERY YEAR, because that is what is fair for the child. One parent Christmas Eve one parent Christmas morning.
So like what I was getting out tell him if he wants to follow the order then what the order states is the ONLY time he will see him now and you will not be making any provisions to make other arrangements than following the court order to the T. IF you are letting him have extra little visitations not court ordered that may make him back off with the Christmas morning.
We have been fighting for a long time, my daughter doesn't have any time, it's written in stone and we do follow it to a T already. I am in a no win situation, I have tried all of my outs. I am stuck, frustrated and horribly depressed. There aren't options left to remedy this situation, just wait for a judge to rule at the hearing.
Yeah there really isn't anything you can do. All you can do is look at the over all picture that you will hopefully have many other Christmas' and he knows you love him and want to be with him.
Be thankful for what you do have and realize many loved ones can not be together at Christmas time. Like me, I will have my one son but my daughter and grandson live 100 miles away and I am not going to get to see them til the 28th, my other daughter comes and goes so I have no idea about her and my other son is in Iraq. I haven't seen him since July and I have no idea when I will see him again.
Have a make up Christmas morning like celebrating a birthday on a different day if you have to. Get creative when there are obstacles.
[quote=Justwantfair;1432080] I know I could take anti-depressants (I used to take them when I was married to my ex) but I know that I won't need them for long, just for the time being and I remember how difficult it was to stop taking them because I really felt depressed then.
I have found that taking medications for depression are the right thing to do in a situation like this.
The question I ask is,Did the situation that put you on meds in the first place...was that problem ever resolved?
Taking meds isn't for just a situational 'quick fix' meds require a settlement of the issue.
Therapy AND medication are the answer to resolving depression,otherwise it's just temporary.
Like getting drunk to forget a problem,a quick temporary fix for a (possible) larger problem.
Finding the coping skills on a clear(not depressed or emotionally trying time) mind and therapy,or venting with friends,can be a solution,but how do you make clear judgment when the mind is clouded with emotions that are out of control?
Obviously,I am a big believer in medications,when needed.A professional could decide,with you, if this is a good idea.
depression and anxiety are self-sustaining,they both strive to keep you in their neighborhood,like a neighbor who comes over to visit all the time,most times without being invited.
From everything I have seen for the most part the conclusions I have come to are that depression can be external or internal or a combination of the two usually cause and effect.
If you can get yourself calmed down through efforts such as self motivation, analyzing the situation, coping skills and natural calming things such as venting, teas, aromatherapy, etc....then that is good but for it to go on to the point it has an unshakable hold then it can be necessary to go for the meds.
Personally I go for the meds when all else has failed.
I was on the medication for social anxiety, I was having panic attacks frequently during the marriage. I know the effects of the anti-depressants because that was the prescription for the attacks.
I am not looking to take anti-depressants, but I would assume that could be a reasonable solution to situational anxiety or situational depression. I just wanted some herbal remedies to help cope because I am not out to snap on my children when I know they are not the reason that I am stressed and I feel I am being short.
I am in a situation that will not be resolved immediately and I need to find some better methods of coping until this situation is decided at a best interests hearing. Just looking for suggestions.
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