Does anyone ever feel like If you could just be dead for 5 minutes just not feel the pain for five minutes you would be okay? I mean like if you have kids and you care about them enough not to end it completely. But sometimes it hurts so much that if just for 5 minutes. an hour would feel so sweet.

talaniman

Thats what we're here for to pick each other up when someones down,and we all scrap bottom every now and then.I know where to come when its my turn to boohoo!

Sunni

Hi crankiebabie,
I keep coming back to this post over and over again. I guess what you said really struck a nerve with me and I just want to say I feel for ya, sister. Sometimes I think a whole day would be sweet. I do have kids and a wonderful hubby that puts up with my every mood and it is b/c of them that I am still kickin'. If you are ever having a bad day or just need to talk, I'm here to listen. I know you'll do the same for me. Blessings to you, hun

momincali

Alright, so maybe you're not too much into country music but this is one of my favorites, it's by a gal named Jamie O'neal and its called Somebody's Hero

She's never pulled anyone from a burning building
She's never rocked Central Park to a half a million fans, screaming out her name
She's never hit a shot to win the game
She's never left her footprints on the moon
She's never made a solo hot air balloon ride, around the world,
No, she's just your everyday average girl (but)

She's somebody's hero
A hero to her baby with a skinned up knee
A little kiss is all she needs
The keeper of the cheerios
The voice that brings Snow White to life
Bedtime stories every night
And that smile lets her know
She's somebody's hero

She didn't get a check every week like a nine-to fiver
But she's been a waiter, and a cook and a taxi driver
For twenty years, there at home, until the day her girl was grown
Giving all her love to her was her life's ambition
But now her baby's movin' on, and she'll soon be missin' her
But not today, those are tears of joy runnin' down her face

She's somebody's hero
A hero to her daughter in her wedding dress
She gave her wings to leave the nest
It hurts to let her baby go down the aisle she walks right by
Looks back into her mother's eyes
And that smile lets her know
She's somebody's hero

Thirty years have flown right past
Her daughters' starin' at all the photographs
Of her mother, and she wishes she could be like that
Oh, but she already is

She's somebody's hero
A hero to her mother in a rockin' chair
She runs a brush through her silver hair
The envy of the nursing home
She drops by every afternoon
Feeds her mama with a spoon
And that smile lets her know
Her mother's smile lets her know
She's somebody's hero

Imagine your kids singin that one to you.............

momincali

Crankie- 5 minutes would be 5 minutes too long without you. I lost my big brother to suicide when I was 13 years old. It took me 20 years to forgive him for leaving me, for leaving his wife a scared and lonely widow and 3 year old daughter fatherless and terribly sad, She's still sad to this day because that's the legacy he left her, sadness. For leaving my mother in so much pain she couldn't love me and share my moments of happiness without feeling guilty so she just didn't.

5 minutes is 5 minutes too long for you to even give this another thought.

bizygurl

Hey Crankie, Im sorry youfeel so down, we all go through very low points in our lives. I have just expirenced one aand im slowly crawling my way out of it. I hope everything works out okay, Ill keep ya in my thoughts.

Hey I know a song how about " Sunshine on my Shoulders" (i think that's the name) by John Denver.
ya know : " Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happyeee"..........Can't remember the rest.

Actually that make me feel worse, its too happy, ha, ha! thought it was funny anyway. You know we are always here for support! We got ya back,girl!

manutd4eva

i fell for you crankie hope you get over it soon. i used to feel like that a lot about 6 months ago(still do sometimes) and like im trapped in a prison most of my mates live the other side of town and i only see then when i go to watch footie every other saturday or at school. the rest of the time (especially summer/xmas holidays) i just feel like it would be better if i wasnt here but you have to try and look forward to something like i always look forward to monday when i can get out of here.

Chery

Try some of the old songs from the Judds, they are good to sing along with too and the kids will probably like them. I experience physical pain 24/7 and get relief thru medication which makes me float, but also have mental pain due to the frustration of the physical, also the world is so messed up right now that it has to emotionally get to people, even though they try to hide it. You are not alone babe, this is happening a lot worldwide lately. There is even a new statistic that says that 13% of America's teens are suffering from depression and a higher suicide rate - so what does that tell you.
I've also thought of going to sleep and not minding if I never wake up again, but then there is always someone or something that will get me back to a little feeling of joy, like this forum, and my daughter.

Please don't give up and you know that you can always talk to us any time about anything and we'll be here. My oncologist said that as long as I keep my sense of humor he feels confident that I'll be OK. If he only knew how much pain - but he does his best.

Love and best wishes, Chery

augustknight

OK Crank, Here's the deal. I am bipolar among other things. When my kids where small I would have sold my soul for a day of normality, even an hour. I was always angry (more common in men than woman). If the phone rang I would answer by saying 'What the F do you want?'. Nice huh. I needed help but wouldn't admit it. That was 14 years ago. Today I still have the chemical imbalance that is outwardly known as depression. There is only one treatment that I know of and that's medication. It allows me to live a normal life. I work everyday, I enjoy my family but to be absolutly honest with you, I never really feel 'right'. For lack of a better word I will call it fatigue but it's more than just physical, sort of a flat feeling.
One thing that I learned over the years is that my emotional state fluctuates a great deal. When I am down, I never make a decision about anything important. It is then 'I don't care' about anything, except extracating the demon from my body, that is the most dangerous time. But like the tides in the ocean, the tides in our bodies have highs and lows. Sooner or later it will be high tide again and time to assess the situation. Because, for me anyway, low tide always comes back.
You can't go it alone. Find a good doctor and confide in a friend that is also affected. Believe me nobody has a clue as to how you feel except for someone that is in the same situation. I will help you in any way you feel comfortable with.