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My daughter is 34yrs and is hard to live with. She throws tantrums whenever she feels unhappy about something. It is so scary that she looks possessed. She makes up stories and lies. Takes things that do not belong to her. Always late or cant keep time.
Does not take responsibility for anything. Her life a cos and has no organization. Her mind is always going 24-7. has problem sleeping and does not maintaining a schedule. She constantly complains she is sick and that she does not want to be here in this planet
She can not focus even to boil water without burning the pan, or pouring a bath without flooding the bathroom. 99.9% of what she says never happens. You can not count on her for anything. What is this condition called??? She is on the other hand a sweet adorable girl very smart and likeable.
The two questions asked here are "Is my daughter's problem's mental?" and "What is this condition called?" Some posts have answered those well. I agree with a straight forward response and here is mine: Yes, her problems sound mental and its looking more like BPD to me than drug use but please seek professional help. There may be an easier solution than you think.
While allowing a mental illness to go unchecked is not good for everyone, a certain amount of compassion for someone being in the dark about mentall illness ought to be present in a post when dealing someone who is asking for help to climb out of that darkness. There is a profound difference between tough and tough love. And until I see resistance on Sonia's part, I don't think tough anything is needed here, frankly. A very wise person once told me that "love without truth is hypocrisy but truth without love is brutality." I consider that every time I attempt to confront someone about what they are doing. There is a timing to things too, a kind of first things first that needs to factor in as well. Let's solve the problem she asked about, then maybe she'll trust us enough to solve more?
If you have anymore questions Sonia, please feel free to post them here, if you dare.
Thats why that questions that I asked for instance how long has this being going on for? Is there any other chronic or underline illness that could have appeared. As well as giving all posibilities not just about the daughter but also the mother. It is important to get to the matter of things. The statements putting all of the blame on the daughter when she is still living at home with no details on how long, when it started, what are other possibilities.
I learned a long time ago not to even attempt to make a diagnosis without meeting the person. We do need more information than what you have given. It could very well be a medical problem. you say she has difficulty focusing, lies, steals, sleeping problems, complains of being sick all the time, mind is going 24-7, poor organization, difficulty sleeping, and doesn't want to be on this planet. These sound like serious problems. Will she see a doctor? will she she a therapist? has she been violent with you?
My opinion...it sounds liek a slew of things might be wrong. the not paying attention...might be a form of add my boyfriend has it anad he is always an hour late for everyhting. he cant cook because he walks away and burns things...its crazy but sounds jsut the same as your daughter. As for living at home at 34, is this because of her attitude? living at home at an older age may be from her being held back due to her personality. the lying, tantrums and sleeping problems seem liek anxiety, depression or possibly bipolar. i am not a professional, i myself have been diagnosed with these three thigns and work with them myself. Take the time to sit her down and ask her to see a psychologist jsut for an information session, she may actually find that it helps her fix her mood a bit and she may be more pleasent.
I think she needs to live by herself so she only has her to blame when things go wrong for she is the only one there who could have caused it. I have known many people in the past with the exact same condition and it was all because of drug dependency and once they admitted to it and dried out the problem went away. Myself I would watch her party habits and keep track of the days and times you have the problems and look for a pattern. does she go out with friends or away then the next day later the problem starts or do you see the problem and then she goes out and comes home relaxed and the problem goes away or she could need a doctor do to a inbalance in her system hard to say. Does she have a boy friend that she can share her inner thoughts to and vent her problems. I also know a women who use to be very moody and terrible to be around but last time I saw her she was just a delightful person and I told her how much she had changed. then she shocked me when she said she was sexually frustrated and now she has a great man who is not only her best friend and husband but also her rehabilitator now that I never expected to hear that. So it is hard to say what the true problem is by reading on the net a few lines of a problem. What ever her problem is she does need help
Well now that you the poster gave me a disagree you actually give more information there then in your actual post. Like I said, maybe if you gave more information in the beginning you would have received better answers. So your daughters husband left her, no wonder she is a reck. Leave her alone. Obvously she is greiving. Should you not understand that. If you do not understand that then yes, you as a mother needs help and councelling as well.
So for all of you that were putting all the blame on the daughter before even hearing the whole story from this person. Please pat me on the back. In her reply to my response she says that her daughters husband left her a month ago. Her mother should be supportive, not making her daughter to be out be this mental case, somebody who might be on drugs and needs mental help. I was right along. This mother is not emotionally supportive especially at this time, no wonder why the daughter is a reck, she is greiving with an unsupportive mother. The poster instead of leaving out all of the important information should of included all the information to be able to give a good answer. I already knew it. It is a shame that this person did it. The mother is obously not to smart, just wanted to hear the worst about the daughter. She got what she wanted from most of you.
Jesus, Jesus, and Jesus any effort to pat you on the back will wait... (Smile) the problems that will occur or suggest itself after a separation or a divorce will leave some pain and that pain will have to be addressed, before the young lady can move on. If, it is the problems of her child hood that brought about the issues that she is experiencing now then, she would need some help. JUST going to a therapist, social worker or and psychologist will help greatly. And something more importantly... we should stop blaming someone else for the problems we create to ourselves. Meaning, the daughter needs to stop blaming others for her choices. Now, here is the pat on the back just because you need it.
the problems that will occur or suggest itself after a separation or a divorce will leave some pain and that pain will have to be addressed, before the young lady can move on. If, it is the problems of her child hood that brought about the issues that she is experiencing now then, she would need some help. JUST going to a therapist, social worker or and psychologist will help greatly. And something more importantly... we should stop blaming someone else for the problems we create to ourselves. Meaning, the daughter needs to stop blaming others for her choices. Now, here is the pat on the back just because you need it.
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