I recently cut myself. Never done it before. I read up about cutting and it said people do it to release emotional pain, but doesn't sound like me. I'm not sure.
At the time I was thinking how I have absolutely no control over anything that's going on in my life. Then I cut myself. It hurt a lot, but I felt better afterwards. I felt pleased with myself. I created this pain myself. I was in control.
Do you think that's why I did it? I think I'm just looking for someone to talk to right now :'(
Also, see if you can channel your emotional pain into something else. When you start having all those feelings, go right away and let them out in a positive way instead of cutting. Punch a punching bad, go for a run around the block, paint or draw how you feel, whatever form of expression you like most. But it will help you to let things out. Also, give yourself a time each day when you can just let it all out emotionally. Cry, punch a pillow, scream, just let it all out. Holding emotions in is the worst thing you can do right now. When you let it out in a positive way, it can help you to heal.
I think if you have been feeling suicidal, it would also be good to go to the doctor. Make sure you don't have a chemical imbalance of some sort and rule that out. Then you could also ask the doctor for a referral to a good counselor, because it's good to have some help from one when you are feeling so sad.
PLEASE find someone you can talk to. that will not judge you no matter what. I'm sure you already know that person. Pray about it and let God show you who that person is and ask him to give you the power over this.
Yes I do know that person. But as of last week they are not going to be around anymore (out of my control *sigh*).
So I haven't cut myself again. But I did do something else pretty stupid yesterday. Took a bit of an overdose... don't know what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking. I don't think I want to kill myself... I dont know. I was distressed and a bit angry/upset. Wanted to smash something up and did do some damage. Felt bad about it and felt like I just can't cope anymore... started swallowing sleeping pills. Erm... reading that back sounds worse than it really is. Or maybe it is that bad
I would really suggest a counselor.... to help you through this part.... you dont sound like you feel in control of your life, your behaviors, and your emotions to follow. You are pretty hard on yourself... and it is effecting your self worth. You are worthy of taking back control and feeling good about who you are, why you are feeling the way you are feeling, and how to channel into positive changes.... and it sounds like you need help in doing this.... you can even call a hotline anonymously.... where do you live??
I cut myself again. This time i dug the blade in deeper and watched myself bleed as i dragged it across my arm. It didn't hurt but i did feel it.
I feel so alone with no one to talk to please help. I think i will do it again it felt good. I don't know why i should try and stop it made me feel better. I am ugly anyway it's not like a few scars are going to make any difference.
I am already on waiting list to see someone to see whether i need counseling or not. I don't know what to do.
Not too bad thanks. Don't feel like cutting for the last month I think. Took so long to see a counselor that it didn't help at all in the end. I took some control for myself, I decided a new exercise routine and i'm controlling my diet. Little things like that have helped. Talking to one person in particular has helped me, I will never forget her.
I realise that should have been uneducated. Oh the irony.
I hate giving reddies but that kind of 'get happy approach' can lead to people not seeking help and feeling further isolated or blaming themselves for things out with their control. I know many people who self harm and attitudes like that just prolonged their problems and in one case almost led to their death.
Self harm is not a fad, it is not to be dismissed lightly as teenage angst. I know you meant well but you could have easily done more damage than good.
I really suggest you read some of the intro pages of this website It can help you understand what deliberate self harm is actually about. It is one of the best support websites I have found on the web.
The reason why I criticised your answer is because I believe it is dangerous.
I used to self harm and I hid it and never sought help. Ever. Why? Because I was ashamed, I knew people would dismiss it as "just a fad." I would hate for DMA to do the same, delaying treatment and help for fear he won't be taken seriously.
When you are that low and vulnerable small slights are taken to heart. Someone not believing your pain may be the last straw. I knew I wasn't strong enough to face that. Once I sat bleeding for hours soaking blood though so many clothes because I would have rather died than gotten medical help and had to face the derision of people like yourself.
Your attitude is pretty common even among medical staff. That is where it has nearly killed a friend. And before you think that proves the fad theory, we lived in different countries and met later.
Maybe it appears it is increasing, ,especially amoungst certain social circles, but there is a huge difference between causation and correlation.
I'm shaking as I write this so I'm going to have to go but I would like you to think about what the effect of your flippant little soundbite could have had on the person reading on the other side of the monitor. I just hope you do.
Don't sabotage yourself and set yourself up for years and years of misery.
Be well.
so this should have been the answer to your question when you were having anxiety attacks about being shut in, alone, and having to turn off cable for financial problems?
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