Im Vanessa and im 15 years old. Ever since i was 12 i was having sex. I would cut after almost everytime because i was scared to tell my parents and that causesd a lot of stress. Even if i didnt have sex i would cut because of something that happened during the day. One time that i cut i had to go to the hospital because it wouldnt stop bleeding. But i didnt go to my parents, i went to my bestfriends mom who was more of a mom to me. Since my real mom beat me i was scared to tell her anything. I wound up having to have a cast-like object on my arm for cutting at age 12. Everyone in school asked what it was from but i wouldnt tell them. One day my best friend told the whole school and everyone knew it was because i cut. But i would tell them all it was from wan i was cooking.. or i feel into a pricker bush, and the funny thing is.. most of them beleaved it so they stopped bugging me about it. I stopped cutting for about 5 months and by this time i was 13. I had just started going out with this boy and it was our 7 month ann. when he broke up with me. I was devestated and heartbroken. Once i got home that night i cut and cut. Then i tryed to choke myself by taking one of my dads ties and tieing it around my neck and pulling. My parents said that they found me in my room passed out on the ground with a tie around my neck and cuts all down my wrists. They took me to the emergency room where i stayed for about 3-4 days. As soon as I got out my parents said they were gonna send me away to a place like rehab for cutters all the was in Texas. The whole time i was there i would find something that was shar enough to cut my arm. It wast as bad, and wasnt every day. I was there for about a year, i was 14 when i came back.. about 4-5 moths away from being 15 and i started to cut everyday and badly again. i still am and im 15. I know everyone is gonna thhink that im insane, but im really not, its like a drug. Some people get addicted to herion and im addicted to cutting. But i really would love to stop more then anything and i was wondering if i could get some help

Cerenia

I used to be addicted to cutting, but I started a diary on my feelings, kept my hands busy, but i'd put all my rage into writing, then afterwards, burn it, just making my feelings burn away in the progress, stupid but that helped quite a bit, might help a little?

isetmyfriendsonfire

Hunny, i promise you it will get better. I was a cutter, and in fact i do still cut sometimes, but only when stuff gets too bad. I know how addictive it can be, its a way of controlling everything bad in your life by focusing it all in on the pain, but it doesnt help. My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me and i cut very badly. i also considered suicide. It took that to show me i was ill and i talked to my mother about it. As you do not seem to have a great realtionship with your mother, i suggest you find someone to confide in-it helps. keep a diary-that helps too. Youve been through alot, but cutting, although it feels like it helps, doesnt. it makes it worse.

Please, get help.

Good Luck

DeepLover69

Thank you. I tryed the diary thing, but it only worked for about a week. i dont know. Ill try it again. Thanks =]

Emily94

Snap a rubber band on your wrist same pain just no marks try it it helped me

p42once

what is cutting?

ashley132

try getting in a club after school. it will keep ur mind off the cutting and it will relive the stress. i was a cutter, and when i went to school i was ashed that everyone was going to notice me. i soon got in to a drama club were i can express my feelings out loud and no one would care. i also learned that cutting is a teribble sin from one of my counclers at brookhill ranch. they helped me alot. if you want i could hook you up with one of the counclers. they are nice and understaning.by the way im 14 now and i stoped last year.

ashley132

cutting is getting any sharp object and using it to make yourself bleed. like getting a razor and sliting ur wrists with it. it is also know as self mutalating(i think that is how you spell it)

Rachelm1123

I used to cut too. The reason you are cutting is because the physical pain is better than the emotional pain you are experiencing. PLEASE take my advice...go to a counselor ASAP. do it tommorow. Things will get better, but you HAVE to work at it. Tell the counselor what you have been doing and get a psychiatrist. Please do this. This is coming from a 26 year old recovering bipolar.