I'm a fan of the FoxTV show Dr. House but would never let my kids watch it obviously because of the mature themes. I know someone who is just like Amber the narcissistic B***. I don't see Dr. House trying to "fix " her. Are these people just like this and nothing can be done about it? Is it a mental health issue that can get better or are they just born that way and can't be "fixed"?

I would say the majority of them can't be fixed because they do not see a problem and then people cater to them so they are not offended. If somebody does tell them they need help then they get offended and then you are the 'no good person with a problem' So unless somebody sees narcissistic traits in themselves and ask for help then NO I really don't see them changing. Narcissistic people tend to see their ways along the line of perfectionism so they have no reason to see it as a problem.

I agree with NoH.

Most Nacissistic personalities do not realise they have this disorder.
Some who have the milder form may realise and can modify their behaviour consciously.

I don't think it actually goes away totally.

I watch "House" all the time, and I don't even know who Amber is!

Anyway, people with personality disorders, and really all other people with mental illness, or addictions, or anything unpleasant goin' on, CANNOT BE FIXED as adults.

Any treatment is about helping a person get control of themselves and be willing to do what it takes to *CONTROL* his/her behavior. That person being willing to *CHANGE*. Not many people are willing to change... they are more than willing to fight and defend themselves, but change, almost never.

Amber is Dr. Wilson's girlfriend, Dr. Wilson is the thrice divorced oncologist who is House's best friend, they used to share an apartment after his last divorce. She is one of House's students but he has already fired her. But is it hereditary, I mean, if a relative of my husband is this way--any chance of our kids being likely? What is exact cause or is that not known?

How children are treated from birth through childhood and teens is by far the most important thing effecting mental health. The most important thing is having a healthy bond with Mother, and having a mentally healthy Mother, of course!

Re: House... thanks! I guess I wasn't paying any attention to the love interests! :D

Sorry! There is no help for narcissists outside of themselves. They are pathological liars and will not admit to needing help. They lack introspection, so they will not be able to look deep inside and see the havoc they have caused upon themselves and others. They have created a false reality. Anyone who disturbs their false reality must be destroyed... hence what makes them so unpleasant to be in a relationship with: Sooner or later, a normal person stands up for their rights. Narcissists do not see other people as individuals with rights. They see us as satellites existing for and by them for their service and comfort. When a normal person tries to draw a line, the narc reacts in swift indignation as we would if our Lazy Boy recliner suddenly became animated and bit us on the rump and dumped us out. They don't count anyone as important or deserving of rights. They only notice those who can get them somewhere as someone to whom they want to treat nicely.
Narcs will use and abuse anyone in their path and eventually tire of their satellites... which is why it doesn't help you to be nice to a narc. Either which way you will be used and discarded. It is only whether you want the swift or slow rejection. It is interesting to note that narcs can have a cease fire with other narcs... because they recognize "IT" in others and it scares them. They know no bounds and will say and do anything no matter how mean or heinous. Normal people won't cross certain lines. Narcs don't feel restrained by any morals or compassion for others...

Anyway, I could go on and on... but sadly, Narcs will not seek treatment because they don't know they are sick and if you tell them... well, it will not go well for you. They will not admit anything to a therapist and most will not even participate in their own therapy-they stonewall. So, I think it would have to be an act of God to get through to these nuts. Then maybe they could try and ACT more normal. But, it truly is only behaving better... they will never be normal. Perhaps brain damage... or childhood trama..? Sad.

I read you answer Shelby about your sister and I went through that with mine and the pain is so deep. I went through a divorce with my ex and my sister slept with him while we were married and after and she is still married. She has hurt my children which really makes me upset. I thought about taking her to court because she is a social worker and should know better. My mother and her are certified NARC and I am so glad I am not like them. They know no bounderies! I would love to email or speak to you offline Shelby. I just joined so I am not sure how to send you an email. I will speak to you later.