my boyfriend is suicidal, what should i do?

Tell your family and tell his....

his family already knows but they don't care. my family will surely make me break up with him. we need each other. i am so scared and confused

You are 12....you don't "NEED" this or him at this stage in your life.

All you know is what he told you...and its highly unlikely he was being honest about any of it.

i don't need him, i know that. but we are there for each other. we are both going through some though things and he is there for me. his family told me with him so i know he is telling the truth. when he told me he was trying not to look at me and was holding back tears. I am afraid of making the wrong choice. everyone else completely hates me. i feel like this is all my fault. :..(

None of its your fault...and he is trying to make it your fault. Like I said....you don't need any of this crap. Particularly since you are only 12. I think he is a junior player already....and his parents if they told you that...are away he's likely the type to over exagerate...or play the drama queen, he won't be the first kid in the world to flat out lie or invent situations that don't exist. He's very likely done this before on other things....his family would know this, but you wouldn't.

You don't know him like they know him. And there actually ARE people out there that will lie about these things in order to play with peoples emotions because it makes them feel better about themselves when they do it. You will meet more like that in your life. You are gust getting an earlier start at it than most.

Tell your family...I am certain they will say much the same thing I just said about him.

It comes down to this...you are respnsible for yourself...and your own family comes ahead of everyone else.

You don't allow anyone NOT related to you to dump this on you. And if he really is dumb enough to do this...then it would have happened anyway...and as I said, at twelve....nobody can dump that kind or responsibility on you...and no twelve year old should even try to accept it.

What kind of things ARE you responsible for? Things like keeping an eye on your younger brothers and sisters when mom and dad aren't there...your school work...the chores you are given.

But NOT things like this boy and whatever problems or drama he is creating. You tell adults about it...and let them deal with it. As you get older the reasons for this will become obvious to you. And they will long before you become an adult.

Plus adults can quickly tell a real problem from lies....12 year olds just are NOT convincing liars to most adults, but younger kids can be fooled easily. A pro can tell if his issues are real or imaginary...and they know what to procede with if it is warranted.

i just fear that it's real. he took me to therapy to wait with him once. i told my parents i was riding my bike but i wasn't. he has so many cuts and what if he is dead? i have no friends and no one understands me. I am not sure if i should risk it. i promised him when he told me that i will not break up with him because of that. But i am scared, one day i asked him if he wanted to hang out and he said no, I am too dangerous. i can't stand crying until i can't cry anymore. i am not like the typical 12 year old. i am extremely bullied and for some reason everyone thinks i am emo. by the way you actually are making me feel a lot better.

So..real or not....its NOT your responsibility. Is it hard to do...certainly. But as you get older..you are going to find that you really can't assume responsibility for many, many things...Right now its a little hard to understand what I am trying to say because you really don't have that much to be responsible for yet...

If it help to put it in perspective...look at your emotional capacity as a small box...you can put some things in that box...but obviously you can't put everything in it. You have to decide what to put in it...and they will be the more important things...and you have no room for someone else to put their stuff in it, because that means you have less space for your stuff.

Even as adults...we have some very definate limits...and as we get older we are all going to have those limits tested time and time again.

If you try to fell like you are responsible for things you have no control over at all, it is a waste of your time and effort...

And put another way....why should you worry about what you best friend does on their test in school....if they don't care enough to study for it? Worrying about it accomplishes what...it makes you unhappy...it accomplishes nothing....and it certainly didn't make your friend who IS responsible change how they behaved, did it? So...you worry about YOUR stuff, your families stuff and you will find out soon..you really don't have time for things you have no control over...

Does that help you see what I'm trying to say?

i can understand what you are saying better now. sometimes i feel like i am going to explode. i am afraid to face him. i am afraid to tell him and then i will have to tell my family. it's just that we have been through so much together, i am having trouble just giving up just because it got hard. i have been telling other people on this website don't give up, it's just a rough patch, things will get better, now here i am giving up

Sometimes the smart thing to do IS give up....and its never easy to decide exactly when to do that. But you tried...it accomplished nothing..so now its time to give up and walk away...

Usually when the other person doesn't listen to your advice and contuinues to do what you told them not to do...is a perfect time to give up and worry about the things you actually have some control over.

And that feeling of being ready to explode....tells me you already have more things to worry about than you are able to handle right now.