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Home > Health & Wellness > Mental & Emotional Health   »   Borderline Personality Disorder/suicide threats.

 
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Old Jul 3, 2006, 11:28 PM
jack johnsrud
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Borderline Personality Disorder/suicide threats.

I need suggestions as to how to deal with a person who has a severe undiagnosed borderline personality disorder. She daily throws tantrums, is invasive, breaks objects and threatens suicide, but becomes believably sane if the authorities are called in and threatens to make false allegations against me. She is quite delusional and refuses to believe she needs any kind of therapy and thinks all her problems are the fault of others. Mostly, I'd like to exit, but am afraid all hell will break loose. I have a heart condition and while walking a tightrope, don't feel ready for an all out war.


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flower81 agrees: she needs professional help
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Old Jul 4, 2006, 01:58 AM   #2  
Krs
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How about tryin to introduce her to a phsyciatrist or a physcologist in a subtle manner?
Introduce them as a friend.

If you have a heart condition you need to be looking after yourself too. Dont forget yourself.
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Old Jul 4, 2006, 05:01 AM   #3  
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My dad (and possibly my sister now) are borderlines. Its very sad since I understand that people like that seldomly get help and you can't force it on them, at least not in the US. I eventually had to leave. Not a happy solution but the alternative was to accept abuse in order to remain in an active relationship with them. I chose to love them and leave them since I am not up for being abused and there simply wasn't any other way. I struggled for a long time trying to discover a third way because it seemed so unfair that it was abuse or leave, but in the end it was only that. I am sorry I couldn't bring better news to your post. I agree that you need to take care of you. A very enlightening book to read about it indirectly is M. Scott Peck's People of the Lie. That may help deepen your understanding so you can make a better decision for yourself. It is however a hard book to read, emotionally hard but then you are already living that so . . . . shrugs.
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Old Jul 4, 2006, 09:42 AM   #4  
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If you are genuinely afraid this person will hurt herself, or if she becomes violent and breaks things, call 911 immediately.

Explain to the police exactly what you have posted. Based on what they see, and the history you provide, they may have her committed for 24 hours for evaluation - which may be enough to trigger further help.

Sadly, as Val said, it may ultimately be the hard choice that you have to remove yourself from the situation.

Think about what the "best" or "right" course of action is, not what the easiest or most convenient is.
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Old Jul 4, 2006, 11:13 AM   #5  
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You didn't say your relationship to this person. Is it someone who is living in your house?

I believe that if you get another credible adult witness to her violence/tantrums, that you & this witness can go to the courthouse & have her Baker Acted.

They only hold the person for 48 hrs. (at least in my area) This may help the person to realize the serious nature of her actions & hopefully introduce her to therapy.

I think you & the witness need at least 2 separate incidences to prove she's acting mentally unbalanced & is a danger.
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Old Jul 4, 2006, 11:29 AM   #6  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 31pumpkin
You didn't say your relationship to this person. Is it someone who is living in your house?

I believe that if you get another credible adult witness to her violence/tantrums, that you & this witness can go to the courthouse & have her Baker Acted.

They only hold the person for 48 hrs. (at least in my area) This may help the person to realize the serious nature of her actions & hopefully introduce her to therapy.

I think you & the witness need at least 2 separate incidences to prove she's acting mentally unbalanced & is a danger.

Just wanted to add to this good suggestion that the Baker Act is a Florida statue that can be looked up on the internet for more details. In some cases further outpatient treatment can be mandated but the trouble with that is its easily blown off by patients who remain resistant. Still it may be worth looking into where you live. Only some states have an equivalent law (like New York with its Kendra law) and the particulars of it can vary greatly.
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Old Jul 4, 2006, 01:55 PM   #7  
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hide video camera and film her doing this, Next is it real or is it merely for attention, if they change ( everytime a suggestion of police) is made, it could be an act. ( maybe not, but I have known many who go wide to get attention but are sane when any interference is made.

And of course if it gets really bad, family and friends may go to court to have someone admitted for evaluation.
But if you get the threats to kill thierself on tape, it will be easy to get them committed for eval.

And if you need to get out of that relationship, then do it, often people use theses illness ( that they are aware of) to control others to do thier will. Or give them the option, get help or you will leave.
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Old Jul 8, 2006, 05:38 AM   #8  
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Hello!

With bpd, you really need to get a doctor to determine the proper diagnosis.
it could turn out to be complex and might be bipolar or the cocktail of both bpd and bp (and sometimes more)

If they aren’t ready to see a doctor, you are looking at some very hard decisions.

If they are ready to see a doctor, this is a very good sign.

Two sites I’d recommend you check out:

http://www.bpdcentral.com/ for people who have or had a relationship with a person with bpd
and
http://www.bpdrecovery.com/ for people with bpd seeking recovery – they may have some good advice on how to approach the person or even give you insight on the disorder itself with the “whys and hows”.

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bluerose agrees: I am familiar with these sites and they are very informative.
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Old Jul 13, 2006, 10:22 PM   #9  
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In my career as a Probation and Parole Officer I am of course familiar with the situation you are talking about.

The outcome depends entirely on whether the person concerned has insight. Without a modicum of insight: ("Heh, there is s something wrong with me") there is little you can do.

Most people with an undiagnosed PD coming before the court, usually reach their rock bottom and would say such things as "This is not me", "Something made me do this", "I don't know why I did this".

In other words people with an undiagnosed PD are in denial about their problems and are beyond reach as far as therapy is concerned so long they remain in denial.

But once a person admits they have a psychological problem treatment is not too difficult.

Most people with a PD have been diagnosed to have hypoglycemia. This can be tested with four hour Medical Test for Hypoglycemia.

It can also be tested with the Nutrition Behavior Inventory Test (NBI) , although less accurate as the medical test.

Even if they are found to have a Bipolar Disorder, the Hypoglycemic Diet can help improve symptoms although it may not "cure" the illness. Bipolar Disorder should always be treated by a psychiatrist.

Nutritional and/or drug therapy should be complemented with some psychotherapy. The kind of psychotherapy I teach is explained at the web site.
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Old Aug 5, 2006, 04:01 AM   #10  
jmparrack
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Don't ever take a suicide threat lightly. Voicing it is the last step before they do it!
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