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I have been fascinated by dead and suicide since I was very little. Before I was 8 I had already tried to die several times. I mostly tried by handing myself. But the ropes I chose weren't strong enough or I couldn't tie descend knot. Once I tried to jump out a window but someone pulled me back. I thought allot about it and I fantasized about being tortured, mutilated and killed. I also wanted to be a hiring assassin, I would kill my family (my dad for free) if someone would hire me. I would have been like my job but also my hobby. One time it was night and I was standing by my parents bed with a knife, I wanted to kill my dad. But I didn't he was so big and I so small. Even went he was asleep he looked angry.
I still fantasize about suicide and killing people. Sometimes I have these urges, it itches inside. Then I want to hit, kick, burn, cut, kill who ever is standing close to me or just seeing is enough. I want to kill my family, friends, everybody even my pets. I dream about it I sometime have vision-like experiences about it. Sometimes these urges and itches are so intens that I have to cut my self. When that happens I cut deeper then the other times that I cut myself. I cut pieces out my arm and eat them. Cutting calms me down a little but not enough to make it go away. So then I have to leave the house and stay away for a while, but because it leave without saying anything. They wonder were I am and call the cops.
I've heard voices when there is no one around, I have psychosis, compulsive thinking, schizoaffective disorders and I had alter egos. I have al this for a long time. I am seeing and I have seen a psychiatrist, a therapist and a psychologist. I have tried lots of medication but after a while it always came back. But with the last medication I lost my alter egos. And that made me feel extra bad. I missed them they were there almost al my life. I stopped that stupid medication but it doesn't come back. I still mis them.
Once I went in to a psychosis for a while, I was night I was walking on the streets. I had a knife with me and there was someone, I had pursued her. She noticed and walked faster. I was getting closer I felt her fear it was like it made me stronger. I wasn't thinking "this is bad, it's not right" I was thinking about how I would kill her, cut her, smack her head against the ground, the blood how it would smell. But she got away.
I have cut some kids from my class, not deep but it was bleeding. I hit one with a yardstick really hard.
The strange thing is people still seem to like me. Ok I hear a lot "freak" and "your sick", I don't blame them. There absolutely right.
Actually I already decided that I will do it. But I'm waiting for the end of the school year so that my brother and my sister can get there diploma. Normally I would get mine also this year but that doesn't matter any more. I didn't go to school last week to think and I don't like school. I noticed that there are lots of good and beautiful things in life. I won't deny that. Especially nature, it's full of wonderful things, I love it.
It's just that there is a part of me that wants to destroy, kill.
If I don't do it I think it's will go wrong one day and I won't be able to stop.
It has come very close to going wrong.
My dog he was crazy to he attacked people before looking who it was. We had to let him die. We tried everting we could think of. Lots of (professional) people got involved to save him make him better. But now he's dead.
He is cremated. Before the cremation I could see him again to say goodby. Went I saw him I felt him, he was happy to see supper happy he was nice he was at peace. It was like he jumped up against me. I love him, I love him more then anybody I know.
I hope I will see him again.
My mom tried to kill her self wen she was pregnant of me. I think it was me that made her do that or she made me so obsessed by dead and dieing or something tried to stop me from being born.
My dad already started beating me up since I was an infant, because I cried to mutch. He had hit me on the head.
I wrote al this to ask what do you think? Is there something I'm not seeing? Something crucial I mis? It happened before I sometime have my own world and I don't always realise wen I'm in there.
You can say what you want I won't mind. If you want to say something like "die and rot in hell" I won't blame you.
If you think that I deserve a chance in life but you don't know what to say that might help, don't feel bad about it I don't mind dieing. Wen I think about it I become more relaxed. It's like a part of me is already there. It feels good.
Once I went in to a psychosis for a while, I was night I was walking on the streets. I had a knife with me and there was someone, I had pursued her. She noticed and walked faster. I was getting closer I felt her fear it was like it made me stronger. I wasn't thinking "this is bad, it's not right" I was thinking about how I would kill her, cut her, smack her head against the ground, the blood how it would smell. But she got away.
And you guys are worried about him hurting his self can you imagine what he would have done to her if he had caught her? Plus he eats pieces of his self. Can anyone say "cannibal"? Some people arn't ment to be in this world. If he can't overcome his mental issues where does he fit into soceity?
I think you fit the profile of a potential serial killer. I think you need to be commited in a mental institution so that you don't harm yourself or others. If you google how to profile a serial killer you will see what I mean. I hope that you can get help so you can live a normal life and not hurt your self or others. I will say this though and some people may not agree but this is my opinon, If you know you are going to tourture and kill people and can't stop then I dont see why taking your self out of this world is a problem. We don't need any more Jeffrey Domers in the world.
I agree with you 100%. To think there are people walking around in the world like this scares the @#$% outta me...
I have been fascinated by dead and suicide since I was very little. Before I was 8 I had already tried to die several times. I mostly tried by handing myself. But the ropes I chose weren't strong enough or I couldn't tie descend knot. Once I tried to jump out a window but someone pulled me back. I thought allot about it and I fantasized about being tortured, mutilated and killed. I also wanted to be a hiring assassin, I would kill my family (my dad for free) if someone would hire me. I would have been like my job but also my hobby. One time it was night and I was standing by my parents bed with a knife, I wanted to kill my dad. But I didn't he was so big and I so small. Even went he was asleep he looked angry.
I still fantasize about suicide and killing people. Sometimes I have these urges, it itches inside. Then I want to hit, kick, burn, cut, kill who ever is standing close to me or just seeing is enough. I want to kill my family, friends, everybody even my pets. I dream about it I sometime have vision-like experiences about it. Sometimes these urges and itches are so intens that I have to cut my self. When that happens I cut deeper then the other times that I cut myself. I cut pieces out my arm and eat them. Cutting calms me down a little but not enough to make it go away. So then I have to leave the house and stay away for a while, but because it leave without saying anything. They wonder were I am and call the cops.
I've heard voices when there is no one around, I have psychosis, compulsive thinking, schizoaffective disorders and I had alter egos. I have al this for a long time. I am seeing and I have seen a psychiatrist, a therapist and a psychologist. I have tried lots of medication but after a while it always came back. But with the last medication I lost my alter egos. And that made me feel extra bad. I missed them they were there almost al my life. I stopped that stupid medication but it doesn't come back. I still mis them.
Once I went in to a psychosis for a while, I was night I was walking on the streets. I had a knife with me and there was someone, I had pursued her. She noticed and walked faster. I was getting closer I felt her fear it was like it made me stronger. I wasn't thinking "this is bad, it's not right" I was thinking about how I would kill her, cut her, smack her head against the ground, the blood how it would smell. But she got away.
I have cut some kids from my class, not deep but it was bleeding. I hit one with a yardstick really hard.
The strange thing is people still seem to like me. Ok I hear a lot "freak" and "your sick", I don't blame them. There absolutely right.
Actually I already decided that I will do it. But I'm waiting for the end of the school year so that my brother and my sister can get there diploma. Normally I would get mine also this year but that doesn't matter any more. I didn't go to school last week to think and I don't like school. I noticed that there are lots of good and beautiful things in life. I won't deny that. Especially nature, it's full of wonderful things, I love it.
It's just that there is a part of me that wants to destroy, kill.
If I don't do it I think it's will go wrong one day and I won't be able to stop.
It has come very close to going wrong.
My dog he was crazy to he attacked people before looking who it was. We had to let him die. We tried everting we could think of. Lots of (professional) people got involved to save him make him better. But now he's dead.
He is cremated. Before the cremation I could see him again to say goodby. Went I saw him I felt him, he was happy to see supper happy he was nice he was at peace. It was like he jumped up against me. I love him, I love him more then anybody I know.
I hope I will see him again.
My mom tried to kill her self wen she was pregnant of me. I think it was me that made her do that or she made me so obsessed by dead and dieing or something tried to stop me from being born.
My dad already started beating me up since I was an infant, because I cried to mutch. He had hit me on the head.
I wrote al this to ask what do you think? Is there something I'm not seeing? Something crucial I mis? It happened before I sometime have my own world and I don't always realise wen I'm in there.
You can say what you want I won't mind. If you want to say something like "die and rot in hell" I won't blame you.
If you think that I deserve a chance in life but you don't know what to say that might help, don't feel bad about it I don't mind dieing. Wen I think about it I become more relaxed. It's like a part of me is already there. It feels good.
dude ive thought about it to but never did it youll hurt more then your self? im 44 and have been through more in life then a man should have to be but your here for a special reason and youll find it..suicide is a sin .im sure your a great person but need some good help or a person thatll truly understand you ..but theres enough suicide death and drugs in the world lets not have you bee the next who would i write to then if people like you werent on here ..remember even tough you may not beleave your here for a special reason you are????? so get some pro help i did and it helped ...good luck steve
It really amazes me that most of the people that have answered this question are more concerns about him hurting his self then other people. I bet you would be more concerned about his homicidal thoughts if he was directing them toward you or someone you know! And what happens when he starts acting on them! Are you still going to tell him not to kill his self because it's a sin. Not everyone deserves a place in this world! Jeffrey domer did'nt either did hitler or anyone else like them. You guys need to look at the bigger picture, even if he doesn't kill his self he will probally kill other people. He plainly stated that he almost did but she got away. well like I said before he needs to be in a mental hospital so he can get the right treatment that he so desperately needs. hopefully he can change his way of thinking but either way it goes I would never in life want to cross paths with him or another person like him.
I am concerned about YOU because if YOU get the help YOU need, your life will improve and other people will be safer around you.
If you feel this strongly, yes, you could do something terrible to yourself or others that you would regret later and that you would be punished for.
You're obviously intelligent and aware of the situation you're in. As they say, that's the first step to getting help. Please seek out a local professional ASAP and don't wait a moment. You deserve to be happy in this life, just like everyone else does. Nobody should feel this kind of pain. On top of what you're experiencing, it sounds very likely that your parents also suffer from something bigger than they can control. They did not provide a good home for you, perhaps because of their own psychosis (often genetic), which could explain the depression you feel. Please, people care about you, even if it isn't that clear to see right now. YOU are not disposable, and neither is anyone else. I want you to get help, so please, please do.
i kno how you feel and all i have to say is life can only get better from here.... 2 months go i tried to kill myself i almost succeded. i was in a comma for 2 weeks and am still having health problems now when i woke up i wisshed that i hadnt ...i cryed when i saw everybody aroung me...im only 16 years old and i now realize thati have so much to live for i know now that so many people love me enough to be there the hole time i was recovering so just think about the fact that death is forever you can never change it or go back in time to make a better choice you have so much to live for good luck and please dont try to kill yourself it is so not worth it so manny people love yo somuch you dont evn know
Get Some Help You FU-CKING Pysco
You Think Its Funny To Kill Other People?
Its Not Fair To Inflick Pain On Other People
If You EVER want to kill someone again
I Suggest You Kill Yourself
HOW DARE YOU THINK YOU CAN HURT OTHER PEOPLE BECAUSE OF YOUR SELFISH PISS UP OF A PERSONALITY
YOUR A PROPER MANIAC GET HELP
INFACT
DONT
KILL YOURSELF
YOUR A WORTHLESS PEICE OF
I ACTUALLY CANTBELIVE YOU WANT TO KILL OTHER PEOPLE BECAUSE
YOU 'FEEL' LIKE IT
IF I EVER SEE YOU ONE DAY
I SWEAR IL BE THE ONE TO KILL YOU
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