Anyone else reallu uneasy and unconfident in social situations
I constantly feel like people are looking at me or laughing at me whenever im at a club, pub, cinema, or even just walking down the road. Even with my friends, when there are a big group of us which get together - i feel iuneasy and this way. Im always conscious that im going to make a fool of myself or embarass myself. I hate things especially such as waiting at the bar to buy a drink when thers loads of ppl. usually ppl jump in front and i dont say anything. I just always feel un-important and feel even my friends dont genuinely like me too much. Im 18 and male by the way and have never even had a relationship with anyone because ive never been confident enuff to approach someone and i dont think i look too great. I just think 'y wud any1 like me'. Also when i see my friends all happy and seemingly free of any insecurities i always lash out at them and i know its because im jelous but i just cant help it. I just feel like i dont belong in this world
Hi Illion - this is going to sound pathetic but i go clubbing because once i start drinking then i feel alot better. Then i feel like ive got more to offer because i become more chatty, more social and 'happier'. Sometimes when the alcohol has not kicked in this is when i just want to escape home. The fist 2 hrs of clubbing is hell and then once the alchol kicks in then im fine because i forget about every1 around me. I know its sad that i can only feel this way when ive been drinking but thats the reality. Before, i used to like playing football in the park, or just the fact that i was in high sckool made me happy. I think mostly this depression and negative thinking has come from the fact that i havnt adpated to the 'real world' since high school.
Hi KBC - i feel like im less than everyone else because everyone else my age (especially boys) have relationships, go on group holidays with their friends, are always out having fun, and have a good time. Whereas my constant worrying and negative thoughts stop me from doing all these things. If i want to book a holiday i think - 'well who could i possibly go with', if i want a relationship i think 'i do not even have any female friends really let alone have someone interested in me'. I just want to have a good time in life but i cant help but always worry and think negatively. I dont want to always be like this, but i just dont know how to change, its not like we can control our emotions, its like a dead end
I'm round about the same age as you, i know exactly how you feel but the truth is, so does everyone. Anyone who says they aren't insecure about something is a lair. Your problem is, it that you care too much what people think... but then again loads of people do. I used to but then i just realized i screw up all the time and i am only human. I do embarrassing things all the time and i can be very paranoid when i walk down a street then i realize who is looking at me? who really cares, they are probably more concerned with who is looking at them. You know what just relax and accept yourself we all are paranoid even if some wont admit it and anyone who says ' i don't care what people think' well they are a lair just try not to let it bother you because you are not alone. You don't need to be 'stunning' to get someone, you need to be confident and happy with yourself. Don't lash out at your friends because they are getting somewhere, do things that make you happy and build up your confidence have fun with your friends accept yourself or you may end up loosing them. Enjoy your life there is no rush to get somewhere.
Hey
I'm roughly the same age as you and i can safely say this is not an uncommon feeling. I used to feel like this all the time and i occasionally still do but we are only human. I screw up and do very embarrassing things all the time, but i forget them or laugh them off. FOr ages i walked around with all the weight in the world on my shoulders just hoping not to be noticed but being invisible sucks. Firstly ask yourself why people would look at you and laugh? No offence but i think even the most pathetic poeple have better things to do. I feel like this sometimes and then i ask myself why? The thing is they are probably too busy worring about their own insecuriets. You seem very insecure and your problem is you care too much what peole think but everyone cares and anyone who says 'i dont care what people think' are liars and obviously do by saying that. You need to accept yourself, you don't need to be stunning to approach someone you need to be confident and laid back. dont think 'why woulld anyone like me?' because if anything thats a turnoff girls like guys who are happy with themselves and me personally someone who is quite down to earth. Just forget about your insecuriets EVERYONE has them, focus on your good point and if you say you dont have any then you are a lair man. Do things that make you happy have fun with your life and dont take it too seriously. There is no rush to get anywhere. Also don't lash out at your friends even if its hard, instead talk to them they will have problems too just remember that. You need to stop feeling this way even if it is hard. You do belong in this crazy world.
Hi, thanks that was really good advice , its just hard knowing how i can change to be someone who doesnt care as much about what other people think. And i find it so hard not lashing out and getting really angry with my friends over the smallest thing (like if i text a mate and they dont text back, or if they are online on msn and they know im online but dont speak to me - i know all that seems pathetic and sad, but i just feel unwanted i guess). I suppose its a good time to change myself with the new yr approaching, maybe i should make a list of resolutions and really try harder than i ever have before to change my depressed self
i no where your coming from man..i get the same uneasy feeling in big groups and stuff...recently i went to this party with a friend of mine and i was doing my usual dont talk to anyone thing and my friend was just doing whatever having the time of his life..so i decided to just go for it and ..you know what..i really had a good time..i decided from now i screw what everyone might think..im just gonna have fun and not let anyone stop me cuase you only live once..do u really want to look back and see yourself being unsocial when you had an opportunity to live it up..i guess what im trying to say is just go out there and act like you would if no one else was around..youll surprise yourself at how good u feel
This is exactly what i want to do Everytime i am unsocial or worrying I am always conscious of the fact that im wasting my life away and that im going to look back one day and have so many regrets. Im really going to try. I mean, i have a party and new yrs eve plans so guess these are great oppurtunities to just let go of everything and have a good time and not worry
im the same age as you and i used to be the same way just up untill recently..man really all it is is let loose and relax..like i mean it sounds simplier than it is but if you just make urself do it then everything will be fine..and the way i see it is if people dont like you for just being yourself and trying to have a good time ..forget them..there are billinons of people out there to meet
, its just hard knowing how i can change to be someone who doesnt care as much about what other people think. And i find it so hard not lashing out and getting really angry with my friends over the smallest thing (like if i text a mate and they dont text back, or if they are online on msn and they know im online but dont speak to me - i know all that seems pathetic and sad, but i just feel unwanted i guess). I suppose its a good time to change myself with the new yr approaching, maybe i should make a list of resolutions and really try harder than i ever have before to change my depressed self
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