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loulabella · Oct 25, 2010, 03:19 PM

I live in the uk & I suffer from depression & anxiety. Recent I have been finding it a struggle everyday. I've had a rough few years & really need some help. Is there any place online I can talk to a counsellor or life coach for free as I can't afford private

Enigma1999 · Oct 25, 2010, 03:38 PM

Originally Posted by loulabella

I live in the uk & I suffer from depression & anxiety. Recent I have been finding it a struggle everyday. I've had a rough few years & really need some help. Is there any place online I can talk to a counsellor or life coach for free as I can't afford private

Can you tell me about the past years since this has all started?

Did you lose a family member?

You can talk to us if you would like. We are here to help...

loulabella · Oct 25, 2010, 04:07 PM

Haven't lost a family member, been in 2 serious relationships within the past 3yrs, Both ended with them telling me they didn't love me anymore & one moved in with a girl and got engaged almost straight after we broke up. Have moved out twice & am now back living with my mum. Dropped out of nursing at university & then had to give my job up in March when I moved back home, I have been unemployed since.
My younger sister has a 5month old baby & is living at home with us, I love them both so much but it can make me sad sometimes as I long for a family of my own. I have lost all confidence in myself, have no self esteem & find myself angry with life all the time now. I just don't know what to do, I'm so lonely sometimes.

albear · Oct 25, 2010, 04:13 PM

visit your gp,

Explain to them what's been going on with you and ask if there are any groups you can attend or nhs therapists you can see.

Your GP will be able to help you, even if your not comfortable with anti depressants they can suggest or refer you to local sources of help

Enigma1999 · Oct 25, 2010, 04:17 PM

Originally Posted by loulabella

haven't lost a family member, been in 2 serious relationships within the past 3yrs, Both ended with them telling me they didn't love me anymore & one moved in with a girl and got engaged almost straight after we broke up. Have moved out twice & am now back living with my mum. Dropped out of nursing at university & then had to give my job up in March when I moved back home, I have been unemployed since.
My younger sister has a 5month old baby & is living at home with us, I love them both so much but it can make me sad sometimes as I long for a family of my own. I have lost all confidence in myself, have no self esteem & find myself angry with life all the time now. I just don't know what to do, I'm so lonely sometimes.

I am not understanding why you would have to give up your job... Is it because of location?

I believe that if you continue with school it will benefit you in many ways. Not only so you can make a successful career out of it, but to keep your mind busy.

I think that you have too much time on your hands and that is why you are feeling very low about yourself.

If I were you, I would go back to school and work. Keep busy.

You are not the only one who has been done wrong by failed relationships.

This isn't the end of the world for you although you may feel as if it is.

It sounds as if you once had it al together, so I know it's possible for you to get that back.

Don't worry about what your sister has and focus on yourself.

loulabella · Oct 25, 2010, 04:30 PM

Yes I had to leave my job as was too far to travel when I moved home.
I think you are right about me having too much time on my hands, Im thinking too much about the past & what ifs, wondering round aimlessly then getting in a panic

Enigma1999 · Oct 25, 2010, 05:08 PM

It's not good to just sit around.

This too shall pass. You will meet the man of your dreams. For now though, focus on yourself and accomplishing things to benefit you in life.

SavvyChic · Oct 25, 2010, 06:00 PM

Seems you found a good place to start, but I think you may want to go look into your states local resources and see if you can qualify for cheap or free counseling.. Overall I have offered free life coaching and people take it for granted so I suspect the amount of time a person puts into someone but they don't follow through enough to get the proper result is why you don't come across too many free life coaches. On that note, I will say this, there are so many ways to get around depression and its so easy to go back into it. I had constantly battled it for most my life, my best answer for you is do what I did, look into self-growth things. ANYTHING that you are interested in learning.. meditation, books, groups, anything that offers more control over your INTERNAl well being. You need it :)

loulabella · Oct 26, 2010, 08:20 AM

Have had nhs conselling before & it didn't even seem to touch the surface,I hope that this time they can help. When I'm myself I am a very creative person & I do miss not being myself. Want to be interested in things again just need motivation

lwhiticar · Oct 26, 2010, 06:04 PM

L would recommend eating fish everyday which is high in omega 3s which has shown to cure depression, also exerise, activity, good balnce of sleep (not too much or too little), good social network, hobbies, and proper nutrition a must. Also not eating things bad for you like sugar, will make you more depressed. I battle with depression everyday but many things l do everyday to counteract it and most times 9 out of 10 l do.

gara · Oct 27, 2010, 12:28 AM

:)
Relax , I really under stand how does it feels like when some one , loose the confident of self , me also , I broke up with my girl friend three month ago , she put me through a lot of pain , but I pass it for quick time , because I asked myself a lot of question, that I really wasted my time for nothing , we are all humans and we looking for some one can take care of us , and love us too , there is people out there , can't find food to eat or water to drink , put yourself in their position , it's just matter of time and you will pass it , but don't you dare say to yourself you are nothing , you are something , and you will find a lucky guy of your dreams one day , tell yourself you are the best , and nobody can break you, and stay away from sad love songs , it's really reminding you of your past , cheerfull yourself , you are still a life and full of power too.

loulabella · Oct 27, 2010, 03:30 PM

Thank you for your kind words & advice, speaking on here has cheered me up a little. I have even managed to answer a few questions & help some others with things I am familiar with.

loulabella · Oct 27, 2010, 03:35 PM

Yes I think it's the balance of these things I struggle with when I have bad days, I sometimes use sleep as an escape which I know is bad in the long run, is something I need to work on. Develop a routine.

Alty · Oct 27, 2010, 03:37 PM

Hi Loulabella,

I would suggest that you set a goal for yourself every day. Start of small and work your way up, get back into life and the things you love.

For example, set a goal to take a 1/2 hour walk tomorrow. The important thing is to follow through and do it, check it off your list, and than set another goal.

Maybe tomorrow you can catch up on your correspondence, write to people you've been putting off contacting. Than the next day you could go to a movie with a friend.

Make a goal for every single day, and do it.

I do agree that seeing your doctor is important. Anti-depressants can really help, I know, I've been on them since 2001 after losing both my parents. It's helped me a lot, but it's not the only thing to rely on.

You obviously want to get your life back, well, it's in your hands. Don't let anything stand in your way. Baby steps and you'll be you again in no time.

In the meantime, we're here to listen and to offer advice.

I hope you set a goal for today. :)

Wondergirl · Oct 27, 2010, 03:45 PM

Originally Posted by loulabella's comment

I have even managed to answer a few questions & help some others with things I am familiar with.

See! You're helping yourself already by helping others! I'm proud of you and am glad you have come to this site.

Enigma1999 · Oct 27, 2010, 03:51 PM

Comment on Enigma1999's post

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Thank you for your kind words & advice, speaking on here has cheered me up a little. I have even managed to answer a few questions & help some others with things I am familiar with.

I'm really glad to see that you are taking the negative and turning it into a positive.

You could be really beneficial to this site.

Just take it day by day, and you will see that things get better.

kid_vicious · Oct 27, 2010, 05:05 PM

Be brave. Don't cease action. And objective thinking is helpful. It's very worth mastering.
Knowing you not, I can tell that you definitely possess everything needed to defeat your own fear or whatever, despair.. 'cause every little person in the whole fffff world does. Just realise this: it's not you, the inconfidence, the depression, the fear - those are your vicious enemies inside you and you want to fight them and only by fighting you are able (believe me) to conquer them.And you are the best help there is for you. No councelor or therapist knows better. And remember: anybody else can only show you the door but you're the one who has to step through it. Please be happy

lwhiticar · Oct 28, 2010, 12:55 PM

Yeah, too much sleep l can not handle. Makes my depression much much worse

lwhiticar · Oct 28, 2010, 12:55 PM

Also makes me very lazy, not wanting to do anything to make myself happy or to improve my life on that particular day