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Anyone dated someone suffering from (or been the depressed person)?
I recently dated a woman on Paxil.
She was a charming and loving person.
Yet, when stress piled up she seemed incapable of sharing anything but
cold feelings. Often we would breaak up, and then try again a few weeks later.
It was very hard on us both. Any solutions from either side of this discussion -
what works to survive the tough spots?
She was a charming and loving person.
Yet, when stress piled up she seemed incapable of sharing anything but
cold feelings. Often we would breaak up, and then try again a few weeks later.
It was very hard on us both. Any solutions from either side of this discussion -
what works to survive the tough spots?
Does your presence help or hinder the healing.... Does she always feel better after you visit..?? If not, go on group dates with her.... get her around other people that will help her heal...... that's the best way to express your love for her..
My mother used to be on Paxil. I learned that when she started having one of those episodes, to give her her space as much as possible. During that time, she just wanted to be left alone, and your girlfriend is probably the same way. Just give her some space
I come back from a trip and she is distant. I call and she wants to study (grad school).
The truth is after a week it's hard to not want to invade her privacy a little. She shuts down from the pressure of school and life (divorced 18 months ago and husband already remarried). So, now I live with a silent phone or a quick text message.
We have now broken up - and though she has said she wanted to have children and marry 2 weeks ago - I am now at a loss what to do. I can just realize it's not gonna work, or fight to get the person i fell for - back...
We broke up once for 3 months and she called and wrote during that time to try to reunite. Finally I said yes.....Now 3 months later, she is ready to be little more than friends. Hmmmmm
It pretty much sounds like she is keeping you at her back and call, and that is not fair to you. I understand that you love this girl, but if you cant cope with her complicated lifestyle, it will never work. Otherwise, you'll just have to give her as much space as she wants, which could be a very large amount.
If you don't know this - Couples need others beyond their spouses to handle extraordinary situations.
We can't be everything to our spouse, and goodness sakes, sometimes women need a woman's perspective. Get her active, without pressure. take up bowling... would she like a pet?? How about a bicycle built for two..... I mean how romantic is that???
From a counseling perspective - if taking her eyes off her present situation and onto what she enjoys, lifts her spirits, then be that conduit.
You will find that if what brings her life is something you can't stand then perhaps you aren't the right one for her.......... however..........
You may very well find... if your love is deeper, that seeing her grow out of her depression may be all the satisfaction you'll need, and you might learn to enjoy something you didn't before..
If you don't know this - Couples need others beyond their spouses to handle extraordinary situations.
We can't be everything to our spouse, and goodness sakes, sometimes women need a woman's perspective. Get her active, without pressure. take up bowling... would she like a pet?? How about a bicycle built for two..... I mean how romantic is that???
From a counseling perspective - if taking her eyes off her present situation and onto what she enjoys, lifts her spirits, then be that conduit.
You will find that if what brings her life is something you can't stand then perhaps you aren't the right one for her.......... however..........
You may very well find... if your love is deeper, that seeing her grow out of her depression may be all the satisfaction you'll need, and you might learn to enjoy something you didn't before..
This is a good suggestion, however if she has made it perfectly clear that she needs space, then you taking a chance at smothering her could just make her mad.
When she seems to have come out of her rut, and seems a bit happier, then you can try taking her mind off of things, but i would wait until this episode is over.
Ever looked into Loved ones living with Bipolar? David Oliver has been very helpful to me. Look him up and read up on his course it's free and only an e-mail away.
Well, this is a tough one. I have not spoken to her now for over a week. We are now "broken up"...I have not called, written, texted etc...still, the space grows. the idea of invading now to revisit things is frought with "danger" - i mean she could just reject me again...there is never any yelling with us...just always a sad goodbye as she points out that she has never been single, or needs time to heal from her divorce...and then she's back again...but now maybe this is it. i am not resolute in my feelings of independence yet and i still love her but am stuck....and paxil is perhaps only a part of fixing this.
Still, our good times outweigh al the bad....for now anyway. so, i am single...but with her on my mind...
She was a charming and loving person.
Yet, when stress piled up she seemed incapable of sharing anything but
cold feelings. Often we would breaak up, and then try again a few weeks later.
It was very hard on us both. Any solutions from either side of this discussion -
what works to survive the tough spots?
If you do not give her space then in her mind you are likely to become the source of her depression. If you give her space but allow her to know that you are still there for her then she is unlikely to get to the bottom of her unhappiness. I know this sounds really hard, but if you removed yourself from her totally and met someone new then she would probably see the light - till then this is going to be hard work for her to see her situation clearly... I know you are trying to help, but you may find that your position is infact hindering as it allows her to ignore her issues and to project much of them at the relationship.
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