I'm 18, I was sexually abused by my dad for a long time. It wasn't just my dad but his friends. My mum knew about this and did nothing and it is never spoke of. I can't bring myself to tell anyone about this! The feelings have got worse as I have just found out my dad has died, I lost contact with him a few years ago. I try to block the feelings out but they have come back to me more now because I was raped by a 'friend'. Its got to the stage of not coping anymore, I just want to go away and not come back. I have no one to talk to about this! Please help me.

please_help_me

After reading you're advice, I went to the police last night. It felt like a life time telling them, everything. They could see that I was shaking and really nervous. They rang the police doctor to come and examine me - obviously there no DNA or eveidence of him in me. The exam was painful and he said I needed to go back for further tests, what could this be for?
They took a statement and said they would bring him in for questioning. I told them I was worried for his girlfriend and baby - they said they'd keep an eye on it.
Thank you for all your help, I couldn't have done it without you.

valinors_sorrow

Bravo! You did yourself and the world a really brave and loving gesture there. Please continue to seek help for yourself. YOU are worth it!

soccermom

Hello sweetie, I'm not going to tell you that I know how you feel, though I was also sexually abused as a child but by my friends uncle, whom I honestly trused. I kept it a secrete for years... This happend when I was 11, I am now 27 and in therapy for a totally different matter... My 16 month old son passed away in October 2004. In order to start healing from that I had to deal with my previous pains and unresoved feelings from my abuse.
I thought that I had gotten over all those feelings also, to my knowlege he had moved away and was not around anymore but 3 and half years ago my sister got pregnant, well to my surprise (this gets a little confusing) my abuser was my sister's boyfriends step father, to sum things up basically my abuser is my neices grandfather!! All those feelings started to come up again. When my son died I blamed myself, like you I felt that I needed to be punished and felt that my son dying was some sort of punishment. I have just now started to deal w/ my abuse, it has taken me 16 years.
You can do it!! Don't take your life, don't punish yourself, these dirt bags aren't worth it... FIGHT BACK!! YOU ARE WORTH IT, YOU CAN/WILL WIN THIS BATTLE!!!!

please_help_me

Its wired how when life deals us some crap, it can bring back stuff from before. It must have been hard for you trying to deal with all that stuff.
From your post, you sound positive and you are credit to the world. There are too many bad people in this world and we need more people like you; who are willing to help people come out of the crap, the other side. You have just proved that sometimes things make us stronger! I can only applaude your courage and how brave you are to come on here and help so honestly.
Thank You!

soccermom

Well thank you very much, I really appreciate you saying that. I have been met with many tramatic hurdles and challenges in my life but they have definately made me the person I am today!! You may not recover from this right away, it's just not one of those things that you forget about and move on. In my opinion, you need to find a way to release it, talking to someone may be helpful. I was in therapy for years as a teen because I acted out in anger and my parents had no idea why I was so angry. At that point in my life therapy was not helpful because I was not ready/willing to discuss it w/ ANYONE!! I was too emabrresed, like I said said before it was not until much later that I felt comforable about opening up and now I have started the healing proscess. I am able to talk openly about it and use my past experiences to help others. I hope that you have found comfort in knowing that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! There are many of us out there. In time you will heal, never forget, but will heal and be able to move on and LIVE.
You are very courages yourself for coming here to ask for help. You seem strong, I know that you can and will recover from this... remember to remind yourself that you are strong and worthy of living. Sometimes life can throw us some pretty harsh curves but in time we learn to swerve. Stay strong.

pennybot

I read your story and wanted to send you some strength.

Very proud that you went to police. You are a survivor! victim no more!

I hope this will set you free to live your life the way you want to. not in fear and anger even though it will take time.
*hugs*

I agree with the others that journalling your feelings is a great idea to work your head around it all.


don't feel you are responsible for others. They are responsible for themselves and the actions they took on you.

His behaviours, problems, why he did it, the results, his family=his stuff. He's an adult. He's old enough to know better. He can worry about it.

your mental and physical health=your stuff. you worry about that.

Take good care of yourself.

always_hot

Oh my god! I am so sorry you have had to go through all of this. Please get your self some help. I really think you need intensive counseling. My Mom was sexually abused by her father for years and has never had any kind of counseling. Her whole life has been a train wreck especially with relationships and now she's on heroin and will probally die soon.
I honestly believe her life would be different if she had some kind of counseling. Please, please get your self some help so you can move on with your life. I wish the best for you.