Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    teach23's Avatar
    teach23 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 14, 2007, 10:57 AM
    26 year old husband has no sex drive
    Can anyone give me any suggestions? We have been married for a year and a half but we have been together for over 8 years. I know that is a long time, but he is so young. Is he tired of sex already? He almost never initiates sex (maybe once every three months). I TRY to initiate sex several times a week. I am 23 and very much enjoy sex. He will laughingly say "It's too cold" "I'm lazy" etc. After an hour of jokingly ignoring me I will ask him flat out if he will have sex with me and he says no. I can't just try to turn him on because he says he doesn't like that and won't let me touch him.
    We still have sex almost once a week, but if I didn't initiate it, it might never happen. Sometimes he will say he wanted some the night before but he saw that I was going to bed, etc. He doesn't want it bad enough to say anything?
    Also, we have a GREAT relationship. Perfect besides this issue and I do not suspect unfaithfulness at all. He has been this way for quite a while. At times he will say I am nagging him... wouldn't most guys love their wives to be so horny that they would beg for sex?
    Thanks for reading our history and thanks for your help!
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #2

    Jan 14, 2007, 11:00 AM
    There are many factors, work, medication he could be on, stress,
    And of course just everything being the same, sort of bored, it does happen,

    Instead of asking, wearing sexy outfit and dancing in front of him, do a surprise date, or other things
    CHAYOTE23's Avatar
    CHAYOTE23 Posts: 37, Reputation: 0
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Jan 14, 2007, 11:04 AM
    Teach23, have you tried talking to your husband and letting him know how you feel and letting him know he needs to change in order to have a better relationship. However, the concept of love and in a relationship is not about sex because of the dynamics of two people in love. Teach23, if you truly love your husband and he love you the both of you may want to attend seek professional help from a Family Counselor.
    teach23's Avatar
    teach23 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #4

    Jan 14, 2007, 11:11 AM
    I have talked to him about it. He gets offended when I act like this isn't normal. He just says he is not that horny.
    And he doesn't really like lingerie and stuff. And I am to the point now where I feel like an idiot going overboard and getting turned down. So to save a little bit of myself respect, I don't go too overboard anymore.
    Besides we are married. I try not to let him see me walk around naked too often so it doesn't lose its appeal, but he still sees me and evidently that doesn't get him going. I am attractive and he thinks so too..?
    teach23's Avatar
    teach23 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    Jan 14, 2007, 11:20 AM
    Also, he does not get stressed out really. He has a very relaxing life. Works only a few hours a day. And I am the one that would love to change things up a bit... have sex in other rooms, roleplay, etc. But he always heads straight to the bedroom every time. If he is bored, he should jump on those things right?
    He is not on any medication. He doesn't really see it as a problem like I do...
    Yankeesfans2's Avatar
    Yankeesfans2 Posts: 13, Reputation: 4
    New Member
     
    #6

    Jan 14, 2007, 11:50 AM
    Well a few things to try.. maybe try giving him oral while he's watching TV at night, Maybe try a vibrator and let him know your using it and maybe he will realize he much rather be with you, then you by yourself? You know just try different things. Yes I would think men would like a wife begging for it I know my husband would.. lol...
    Megg's Avatar
    Megg Posts: 421, Reputation: 53
    Full Member
     
    #7

    Jan 14, 2007, 11:55 AM
    Personally, I've been going through a similar situation. I haven't been in the mood lately, for sexual things, he asks me if something is wrong. I find myslef getting upset when he asks me. I'm like nothing is wrong and he keeps asking, so if you ask a lot try to tone it down. Other than that, I think you need to ask him if you can talk to him, you have something bugging you. Explain that you've enjoyed being in this relationship and that you love him. Just let him know how much he's meant to you and anything he's helped you with. But then say that our sex life is dying and I feel that sex is a way to show our love for each other. It brings us closer and keeps a healthy relaionship. Also remember, fyi, you really shouldn't do sexual things if it's for the wrong reasons, or he's doing it to just ''shut you up''. I mean it's meant to show love and it's supposed to be fun and exciting. Maybe your lives are too route. Try taking a walk, making him dinner by candle light and or writing a love note. Don't go overborad and be naughty or too overpowering. Just a quite evening enjoying each other's company. I mean, in my relationship things get to be the same, and I'm bored often. So, if we spiced things up a bit or went places more it would be better. I hope what I've said is helpful. Good luck and keep us posted!

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Any suggestions on how to get my 48 year old husband to stop acting like he's 3? [ 10 Answers ]

Here's my situation: I've been married to a man whom I love very deeply, but who makes me crazy with his infantile behavior when it comes to sex. This past three weeks are a prime example of this... On December 22nd, I drove to the college our son attends (some 200 miles one way from...

Will I Ever Have A Sex Life W/my Husband [ 3 Answers ]

Hello,I Don't Even Know Where To Begin.I Guess I Will Just Blurt It All Out.I Have Been W/ My Husband For 6 Years , Married For 4 Years He Just Turned 37 And I Will Be 30 Soon.my Husband And I Started Of Haiving Sex Quit Often And It Was Great,then About Alost A Year In To The Relationship He...

Low sex drive [ 2 Answers ]

I am 34 and have been with my boyfriend for 4 yrs - the first 2 years our sex life was great but since then I have had zero sex drive and pain during sex. I am not on any meds, do not have children and do not have a high stress life - I love my boyfriend but just do not have any interest in having...

Sex drive... [ 5 Answers ]

THIS IS WHAT I NEED TO KNOW... can taking birth control lower your sex drive? My girl uses this excuse for not wanting tohave sex with me! is it true?? Help

Sex drive wanted! [ 17 Answers ]

Message Deleted


View more questions Search