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melhya1 · Nov 7, 2006, 06:55 PM

I have joint custody of my 11 year old son. I live in Florida it is expensive, we live paycheck to pay check. I was offered a promotion moving no more than 500 miles away to South Carolina doubling my income. In my divorce papers my ex-husband had a stipulation put in that I have to have a hearing to move. He said now that I will not leave the state with his son and he has an IRA of $40,000. To hire an attorney. At this time last year I was fighting him with the states help because he had went 2 years without having the insurance on my son I have several books of nothing but notes with dates and times that he has pulled stuff like claiming my son on the income tax, harassing me at work, trying to pull my son out of the car, threatening me, and so on. What can anyone suggest that I do, and remember I do not have a lot of money to work with. My son does not want to live his dad he does not like his wife and my ex works all of the time even on his weekends he works or goes 4-wheeler riding and leaves my son at home. I really need help I want t his for me and ,my son I want to be able to make more money and yet spend more time with my son, 50% of my new job I will do from home.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 7, 2006, 07:20 PM

It is very common for child custory agreements not to allow you move out of state without court permission and a hearing.

IF you do move, he could expect you to pay for travel expense for his visiation, But if he does regular visits or tries to, they may feel that taking his son too far away would hurt his visitations.

The previous issues should have been dealt with thought he court when they happened, and now, the court could ( may not) but could believe you are lying to makehim look bad now that you want to move.

On the insurance, you should have taken him back to court to make him comply.

If he has regular visits with his son, the court very well may say you can't move with your son.

melhya1 · Nov 8, 2006, 03:42 AM

Chuck, I have all of the stuff that my ex husband had pulled documented. And I had an attorney to take him back to court and when the Department of Revenue took over my child support case they told me to fire my attorney, all of this id documented too. The department of Reveune had to send out letters and averything trying to make him get insurance on my son. Also my son and his Step-mom do not get alongf nad we actually had to get a family councelor and a metator to help through this in which my ex-husband did just enough to get my son to come back to his house and then enver went back to counseling or anything, that is documented as well. Half of the time that my son is supposed to go to his house for visitation he doesn't want to and stays home. I do not tell him to do that I have never tried moving or anything because I know it is important to have his father in his life. My son goes over there 2 times a month and during that time my ex is at work. Henever calls my son doesn't come to his games or scholla ctivities he didn't even come to see him when he had surgery. He sees and talks to him 1 to 2 times a month. When I talked to my ex and was honest about my job and what might happen I told him that I would put it in writing that 1 weekend a month I would drive my son down here and take him home because this position I was offered should not put him and his wife out. I am not trying to be selfish if I was I would not had offered todo this. My son is very proud of me and we have bene through a lot with his dad. I do not know what to do. Living like this we can't get ahead and my ex always messes me over and comes out smelling like a rose.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 8, 2006, 07:36 AM

Please believe me when I say often judges don't care. I do hope you get one that does, but you can't move without going to court and get permission, if you do, he can go back and use this to show you are keeping the child from him, they could order you to move back or even award him temporary custody of the child.

I had one case we proved the mother was sleeping with men for money with the minor children in the house, there was trash in bags and on the floor all over the kitchen and hall way ( PI even had photos of all of this) They showed she was leaving the small children ( about 4 of them) at home alone for hours while she went out to bars. The oldest was 7.

And the father lost custody battle of it. So merely being right has nothing to do with who will win. If your judge is a big beleiver in fathers rights, almost nothing will stop them from making sure the father has righs and ability to visit.

Now maybe you will get a judge who will understand, and you can expect them to order you to meet them half way, or for you to take the child to him for visitation and he return the child. But do expect them to want some elements to be modified in the order.