[sdesch]

My daughter is 34 and has two sons, she has been divorced 2 times and currently lives with a girl. she is bi sexual. I accept that and we have always been very close. She has always confided in me. We were best friends. She was with this girl a couple of yrs back and the girl was very abusive hitting and throwing my little 100 lb daughter into a wall. She finally got away from her. She met someone else when one morning she woke up coughing so hard an aneurysm burst in her brain she was life lined to the hospital . Where sh was in 10 hours of surgery and a 22% chance of survival. I fly in and was there when she woke up. It took months of rehab and Many other hosp stays but now she is good she has some sz. And tremors, she is on disability but she is raising her 2 boys. She is very lucky to be alive. When she was well enough she and her girlfriend moved to her girlfriends home state. Things were okay for awhile then the girl walked out. She left my daughter alone in a strange place with no income , unable to work and a car that was not running. I was worried so my husband sent her money to get the car fixed 120.00 she got it fixed. Then she called me and said she had an old friend that was going to come stay with her and help her move . But he could not get there unless I sent her 81.00 for a bus ticket so I sent it. Then when the day came for her to move back home, she called and ask for money to help with gas and food for then for on the way home( she has her 2 kids with her during this time I worried about them also) I sent her a charge card to use to get home on that had 300.00 on it. Well she made it back and got her back disability and got a nice little place but I hadn't heard from her, she was avoiding me. Then she calls and we are talking and she says she ran into this girl again the one that was abusive I told her that was not good she got mad at me. And told me not to tell her how to live her life. I just hate the kids being drug through this. Anyway she hung up and blocked me from her and the kids on face book when I tried to ask them back she blocked all of us. I talked to her oldest son who is 16 and he said she told him she couldn't add me on Facebook cause she said no. I could not believe it all. I called and told her to pay the card off and send it back she did pay us back but has never sent the card back . I had to cancel it and get a new one. Thjis all happened in July. Of this yr my birthday has passed and now it is Christmas I has not heard a word from her or her kids I have stopped trying Now please help me to understand all this did I do something wrong. I think I help them too much and they don't appreciate it. How do you not talk to your mom. I lost my mom when I was a teen I would have never done that to her I would have just liked her be have lived to see my kids when they were born. I just don't understand Any clues or advice I would greatly appreciate it. This is on my mind every min of the day.

[joypulv]

I don't think you helped her too much or did anything wrong at all. She just went back to the abusive woman she got away from some time ago, and like many people, she 'forgot' and was influenced by the same feelings that attracted her in the first place. It may take more abuse for her to realize you were right. Maybe you expressed your disapproval of that woman just a little too much, for a little too long, who knows? Many a child hangs up on a parent after 10 seconds of 'Oh no how could you.'
Here's how I see it: she was burned by the woman who dumped her far from home, got back with your help, tail between her legs, feeling embarrassed and defeated about it all, was vulnerable to the woman from her past just because she was lonely and on the rebound, and now feels that seeing you would be full of 'I told you so's.'
You are just going to have to be patient and wait. She may be watching you on Facebook, so keep your page full of news. You can even wish her and your grandchildren Merry Christmas and other occasions on your own page. I have a feeling she will reconnect.

[sdesch]

I don't think you helped her too much or did anything wrong at all. She just went back to the abusive woman she got away from some time ago, and like many people, she 'forgot' and was influenced by the same feelings that attracted her in the first place. It may take more abuse for her to realize you were right. Maybe you expressed your disapproval of that woman just a little too much, for a little too long, who knows? Many a child hangs up on a parent after 10 seconds of 'Oh no how could you.'
Here's how I see it: she was burned by the woman who dumped her far from home, got back with your help, tail between her legs, feeling embarrassed and defeated about it all, was vulnerable to the woman from her past just because she was lonely and on the rebound, and now feels that seeing you would be full of 'I told you so's.'
You are just going to have to be patient and wait. She may be watching you on Facebook, so keep your page full of news. You can even wish her and your grandchildren Merry Christmas and other occasions on your own page. I have a feeling she will reconnect.

Thank You. I have a Facebook page but I am blocked from them both kids and grand kids. She can't see my page unless she requests to be my friend. And she hasn't done that. She has had brain surgery and I am afraid of anybody being abusive to he,r it could kill her. I guess time will make this pain fade, but I am not sure if she contacted me in a yr or 2 I would be willing to try again since this has been so hard and what if it happens again