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whers · Aug 5, 2009, 03:37 PM

OK here's the story me and girlfriend got together at the end of senior year of high school she was moving away to the south I went with her.. We hit the year mark in our relationship then she goes crazy.. Saying she wants space and starts hanging out with other people. She and I both are 19 she.. tells me she feels trapped but then why ask me to move down.. I love her to death. I tried to talk to her and she says" where not together anymore so stop calling me" I don't know what to do I'm back home from where I moved from she's been hanging around this guy.I asked her if she going to date him after I left she said no but I don't know should I let her see other people? And do my own thing for awhile? I don't know what to do I had to start my life over twice for this girl. She won't answer my calls or my text or emails so I don't know what to do should I give her a month or two to collect herself then talk to her? Please help I want to make this work with her I know she's the one!:confused:

Torrid13 · Aug 5, 2009, 04:16 PM

You're neglecting a very key phrase she shared with you:

"We're not together anymore, so stop calling me!

The chances of you two getting back together any time soon is slim. For whatever reason, she was feeling smothered by you and doesn't want to deal with it anymore. Chances are, she has been feeling this way for a long time and emotionally detached herself from you a while ago; that's why it's so easy for her to go out with other guys already.

You might think she's "THE ONE," but she's made it pretty clear that you're not for her. It hurts incredibly bad, but you can't force someone to love you.

My advice? STOP CALLING/TEXTING/EMAILING HER. Seriously. You're being a nuisance to her, big time. Why would she ever want to go back out with someone that nags her all the time?

In any case, I think it's in your best interest to leave her alone and go No Contact. Don't contact her. She already said she doesn't want you to.

Take care of yourself and focus on healing. Did I mention don't contact her? Oh yeah, and if you have her on Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, whatever, delete and block her so you don't "check up" on her.

You can do it. And did I mention don't contact her?

jimseekinadvice · Aug 5, 2009, 04:50 PM

Lol torrid you made me laugh. Just in case you do feel the urge.. trust me.. there is nothing you can say or do that will change her mind. The only thing that you CAN do is block her out of your life and move on. If she comes around she'll come around.. but that could take forever so in the mean time.. get on with your life as if she's not coming back. Her coming back is uncertain. Whatever you do with your time now is all you can control (which I suggest to be productive and not pine over this girl)

LifeChangesMan · Aug 5, 2009, 05:16 PM

Hey buddy,

I swear, if I had a nickel for every time I read a thread that started, "My Girl Needs Space!" My point, of bringing this up to you is this junk, happens to everyone... even myself :p I was with my girl for 5 years, and she pulled this, so trust me it's just your turn I suppose? I mean the sad part is, that it's over, and that's all... move on, get out and find better, trust me you will find someone who cares about you just as much as you care about them, and that's the most important thing in this day and age. Your life will be fine, you will turn out to be an even better person, once this burn is gone, trust me. I can't even explain to you the lessons you will learn in the next few months, but you'll be a great person.

Let her go, no more texting, no more Facebook, no more crap, she's not part of your life anymore, and I mean your already not a part of hers. Give her the same grace, but for yourself so you can start your healing process.

I hope this helps,

LCM.

jimseekinadvice · Aug 5, 2009, 05:18 PM

I just read your story torrid, your boyfriend broke up with you around the same time my girlfriend broke up with me haha.. no contact ftw! The ex always tries to see what's happening in your life eventually. You're a little bit further along than I am. I can't seem to hate her despite her crushing my heart into a bazillion pieces I'm too nice >,<

Alty · Aug 5, 2009, 05:21 PM

Had to spread the rep, I agree with Torrid.

Here are a few key phrases from your post.

where not together anymore so stop calling me

That says it all, even if We're was misspelled. ;)

And

should I let her see other people

Let her? What part of "We're not together anymore" did you not get? You don't get to let her do anything, she's no longer yours.

No contact, move on, this relationship is over.

Sorry to be harsh, but it sounds like you need a wake up call.

jmjoseph · Aug 5, 2009, 05:30 PM

Give her space. You're 19 dude, I hope you didn't think this was the last relationship you were going to have. Go live your life. Enjoy.

I know it hurts for now, but I promise, you will look back on this and say "what a waste of time THAT was".

jmjoseph · Aug 5, 2009, 05:42 PM

Altenweg agrees: So true. I guess I shouldn't mention that I met my husband at 19. ;) Na, I'll leave that out. :)

Great job of keeping that a secret. There are exceptions to the rule. You probably don't throw anything away, Alty.

Alty · Aug 5, 2009, 05:47 PM

Originally Posted by jmjoseph

Altenweg agrees: So true. I guess I shouldn't mention that I met my husband at 19. ;) Na, I'll leave that out. :)

Great job of keeping that a secret. There are exceptions to the rule. You probably don't throw anything away, Alty.

Do too. I just threw out a pair of underwear because the elastic broke. ;)

I am the exception to the rule. Most people don't meet the person that they'll marry at 19. :)

Gemini54 · Aug 5, 2009, 05:48 PM

Your post reeks of possessiveness to me.

She feels trapped. What made her feel that way?
Should you let her see other people? What right have you to stop her?
You think she's 'the one' - well clearly she thinks differently.

Hello? Wake up...

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news - but it's time to take a reality check - she's being very clear about what she wants, and it ain't you.

jmjoseph · Aug 5, 2009, 06:00 PM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Do too. I just threw out a pair of underwear because the elastic broke. ;)

I am the exception to the rule. Most people don't meet the person that they'll marry at 19. :)

I met the person I married at 21, she was 16, but we didn't date, and eventually get married until 15 years later. I had some living to do first.

You throw underwear away when the elastic breaks? I have duct tape.