[justanother]

Ok, I've been with my ex for 1.5 years and she broke up with me for reasons that I took her for granted. So I stop talking to her and move on. I accept the fact that I took her for granted and promised myself to realize what I have before its gone. So a couple months go by and she ends up calling me saying she misses me and crys that she is having a mental meltdown, so I immediately think she wants me back so I play it safe and she comes over and we sleep together and we talk every day for a good month. But at the same time we do our own things . Well she ends up leaving for 3weeks to go back to her country to see her family. Well when she was out there should would call/text/ email me everyday and say that she misses me and loves me. So I take her literally and take the bait. Turns out she meant as a friend. So when she gets back from her vacation, she acts like a total different person. Very distant, and she ends up blowing me off completely to hang out with this other guy she was talking to so I told her I had enough and told her to not contact me. I let two weeks by and contact her if she wants to go for lunch. I find out she stopped talking to this guy but now she's all over another that she says is this and that but he lives 9hrs away. I think she is crazy for dating a guy that lives far. So I'm back to square one to getting over her but my main question is, I asked her to tell me she is completely over me and doesn't see herself getting back with me in the future. She said she can't do that cause she can't predict the future. What does that mean. Right now I started no contact but just want your opinion on her statement. Thanks

[youcantstop48]

Dude I would seriously move on and forget about about this girl, don't fall for the game nomore, there are plenty of girls out there that don't play games...

[ISneezeFunny]

So... she realized she couldn't live without you...

So she did the "let's be friends yet emotionally be together"

Then she goes away for 3 weeks... and realizes, HEY! I HAVE HIM!

Then she comes back and finds a boyfriend.

She says she can't tell you that she's completely over me... to keep you hanging by a thread. She'll lose you if she says that she's completely over you... so by saying, "we MIGHT get back together in the future..." she'll keep you at an arm's length away.

Get away from her. Move on. If she comes back in the future, tread slowly... in fact, I wouldn't tread at all if it were me...

[justanother]

That's what I'm saying to. It feels like she's just trying to keep a line on me from moving on for her sake if things go wrong. I'm starting the no contact deal, but another questions: The grandma came to visit and she wants me to get back with her. She's leaving in a month. If I get contact from her for that reason should I answer to say goodbye to the grandma?

[friend4u178]

She's keeping you as her backup as she knows now she can , and what her Grandma thinks is irrelevant.

So your choice , be her backup and keep going back to square one or Let her go and get someone you deserve.

[ISneezeFunny]

Her grandma wants you to get back with her.. . that may be because the grandma thought you were good for her.

... and how do you know if her grandma wants you to get back with her? Did your ex bring that up? If so, your ex is DEFINITELY fishing for comments on how you feel about her.

If you want to say goodbye to grandma, say goodbye to grandma... but I feel like it'll do more harm than good, as you'll indirectly make an excuse to enter your ex's life again in a month.

Breakups are hard in that sometimes, when family gets involved, you're almost breaking up with the family. However, the relationship was between the two of you and when it's over, it's over. No need to hang on to loose threads.

[talaniman]

She said she can't do that cause she can't predict the future. What does that mean.

It means if nothing better comes along. You are still there any way.

The grandma came to visit and she wants me to get back with her. She's leaving in a month.

Why not let her impress grannie, she can kick you to the curb, and still come back later, when auntie hazel drops by for a day. She knows you will be just where she left you, when she needs you. How about doing something really radical, and disappear from her life forever, and let her say good bye to her own granny. You'd be nuts to even answer her calls.

[justanother]

I went to launch with the ex and the grandma came with us. At the table the grandma, asks me to come visit her country with her granddaughter but I told her we are not together anymore for me to to that, then the grandma said you should win her back then. Then my ex told her to be quiet cause she's feeling awkward. So that's how I know and plus the grandma whispered in my ear that my ex wants me to study. Not sure what that meant other than me studying for my career change. But seriously, I'm fed up waiting for her, I know I mest up and she wants me to change and I've showed her but she says that I'm just doing it for her and not myself. So there's no use on trying to prove anything to this girl. I'm 21, I know I'm in good health, handsome, currently in construction making great money but testing this month for the police department, and I'm always open to do anything. To me, the only reason why she won't get back with me is because she can't forgive and forget, and she actually told me that she has a hard time doing that. So her lost.
Next question, I went out dancing tonight and met this lady I danced with last week, well I guess I gave her the vibe I was interested in her more than dancing cause she tried to make out with me but I'm not attracted to her, especially she's my mom's age, lol. What's a polite way to say I'm not interested.