[XsadgurlX]

Okay. I'm sure there are a lot of blogs on here that ask or say the same thing I'm about to, but... I'm new to this and need some kind of suggestions, or something.
Here's the story:
Just less than two months ago (I know for some people, that's a long time to be dwelling and I should've probably moved on by now), my boyfriend and fiancé of almost two years broke up with me. Him and I had met a long time before we started dating at work. He instantly became my best friend. For 2 years, he was my best friend. I went to him for everything. Advice on guys I was seeing, advice on family and friends. We talked about everything and anything under the sun. It was an amazing friendship. He confided in me just as much as I did in him. There wasn't a day that went by that we didn't talk to each other, and we would hang out and party twice a week. He was my shoulder to cry on when something was wrong in my life. And I was his support when girls broke his heart. You get the picture of how close we were. Well, it all changed one night. Him, my other friend, and myself, all went partying. My best friend, (we'll call him Eric, for reference) was currently dating a girl who treated him horribly. But, he liked her, so I always gave him the best advice possible. Well, The three of us were drinking one night, and Eric kissed me. I was shocked. He was my best friend after all, he had a girl, and I had never seen him in that way before. In our drunken states, we allowed the kiss to continue. The next day, he broke up with his girlfriend. A mont went by before he finally asked me to be his girlfriend. I was apprehensive, I didn't want to risk what was already such a great friendship. Ignoring my doubts, I accepted, and we started dating exclusively. I was on cloud 9. To me, he was the perfect boyfriend. The first year together flew by, and I was so in love with him. We waited a year before we even had sex. We were eachothers first. I loved him so much. We eventually moved in together. Everything was going so great. We went on trips together, we met eachothers family (I swear my mother loved him more than she loves me) I got along great with his family, (became a BIG sis type to his little girl cousins) and partied with his fave cousins. It was like, finally, for once, everything was going right in my life. I had never been happier. On New Years, he proposed. I was ecstatic. I wanted nothing more than to marry him and spend my life with him. He was my other half. And I wanted to be his wife. We announced our engagement, and started looking at a date. A few months later is when everything I guess turned. I had became pregnant, and we were both freaked out. But he was so sweet and supportive, we decided to keep the baby. Well, a few weeks later, I got hurt, and miscarried. He was hurt, and I became really depressed. In the month following, I lost 30lbs, weighing 107, and was seeing a therapist regularly. I was in a bad state of mind. My boy was there for me, but I could tell my sickness was taking a toll on him. Finally, my health started to improve, and I was slowly becoming myself again. I was no longer severely depressed. I started talking to people again. Everything started to look up again. Then one night, Eric and I went out for a drive. Him and I had been worn out by the past couple months, and we hadn't been connecting like we had been previously. We pulled over to our spot, and that's where he did it. He told me that I wasn't the same girl he fell in love with 2 yrs ago, and that he didn't know what to do to help me. He said he blamed himself for my getting sick, and he felt powerless because he couldn't help me get better. He said we needed to "take a break" to find ourselves again. I was utterly shocked. I had no idea he had been feeling that way, and was devastated when he wanted to break. He said we should just be apart for a while, and that if we really love each other, we'd get back together. I asked him how muc time he needed. He said he didn't know. A month, two months, maybe a year, he said. I was so hurt. I told him if he had to take time away from being with me to realize if he loved me or not, then we had been wasting our time together period. That I didn't need time to test my feelings or love for him. I said it was all or nothing. And he chose nothing. I swallowed my pride and practically begged him to stay with me, that I would do anything to keep him in my life, to not give up on me, on us. But Eric had changed.I looked in his eyes and didn't see the warmth, the compassion,the sweet caring Eric I once knew. INstead I saw someone cold, and distant. Cruel even. That was the last time I've seen him. He called a few times after to see how I was doing, but I couldn't talk to him. It hurt too much. I wrote him the longest letter, moved out of our apt, and left the engagement ring he gave me on the bed we shared for him to find. Its been about 2 months since that day, and he already has a new girlfriend. I still talk to his family, which is why I know this. They say he's changed completely. Personality, attitude, everything. They tell me he's not happy, ever since we split. They tell me they want to see us back together. Oh well. Anyway, I guess what I'm asking you all is how does a person get over this type of failed relationship? I've tried ocupying myself with work and sports and friends and quick flings and stuff but no matter how hard I try I can't get past the memory of his face, or his touch, or his kiss. I try to block out all memory of him, but I find myself late at night thinking about him, the things we used to do, the talks we used to have, the letters he would write me. I don't think there's a night that has gone by since we split that I haven't cried myself to sleep. How do I get over him? It was so easy for him to move on and forget about me, it seems. Why can't I do the same? How can I stop hurting? When will I be able to trust another guy with my heart, and how do I make it through the day? I probably sound ridiculous, but I can't help how I'm feeling. Its like that saying, "what do you do when the one person who can make you stop crying, is the one who made you cry?" I fully understand that now. Anyone... any advice.. or anything... will be appreciated. Sorry this was so long... :(

[MissingHim2Much]

I feel like I just read my own story. Yours is so similar. Best friends, did everything together, confided in each other. We basically couldn't live without each other. Then 3 months ago he decided he could live without me and left. I soon found out he left for someone else and they now live together. My only advice is let him go, that's so hard for me to say because I haven't fully let go myself but I'm trying. As far as I know, nothing stops the pain except for time. I still hurt to this day but I can say it's getting better. I don't know how men can act as though you are their whole world one day and leave the next as if they never loved you. His last words to me were " You are my best friend" then he moved on with her. I still can't believe somedays that this happened but it did and the sooner I can accept it fully the better off I'm going to be. The people here are life savers and you need to come here and talk as often as you feel nessessary.