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    meredithxxx's Avatar
    meredithxxx Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 8, 2011, 10:47 AM
    His parents broke us up?
    hey, i am only young and i have depression and lately all that has made me happy is my boyfriend, but one night we spend the whole night together we didn't have sex and we haven't got any farther than a bit of feeling thats it. But his parents found out we were together and we are forbidden to speak to each other and if we do he will have to move which is not at all fair,. we both still love each other and we can't even see each other in school as his mum works there and its really making my depression worse:/. i NEED to see him, i have lost 9 pounds in a week! and wont eat and i have tried kill my self and have cut his name into my leg with a bunch of staples. I see him all the time and i burst in tears, we have gave each other notes but we can't speak, i have actually fell in love with him as i have talked to him everyday for 7 months no lie, and basically been with him for 3-4. I actaully can't live without him , I have 2 weeks off school so i can't see him at all, and its killing me. he is no longer aloud on facebook, msn, not aloud his phone, laptop, speaking to me my freinds or family or having any contact with me. this is killing me, how do i convince his family to let him be with me:'( i need him!
    Thanks for readingxxxxxxxxxx
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    Apr 8, 2011, 11:02 AM

    How old are you?

    Do you realize that all the silly things you are doing to mutilate yourself only prove how immature you are?

    (It's allowed, not aloud.)
    meredithxxx's Avatar
    meredithxxx Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Apr 8, 2011, 11:09 AM
    Comment on Wondergirl's post
    Sorry, I have problems with spelling and I think my spell check didn't work or something,
    And look that is not relevant, I just want him back :'(
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #4

    Apr 8, 2011, 11:11 AM

    Yes,how old are you?

    Your age will be reflected in the kind of advice you'll be given.

    (And it's friends,not friends.)
    adviceishere's Avatar
    adviceishere Posts: 1,027, Reputation: 492
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    #5

    Apr 8, 2011, 11:11 AM

    Wondergirl is asking your age so she can give you advice to suit your age, so it is relavant that we ask people their ages on this site
    meredithxxx's Avatar
    meredithxxx Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Apr 8, 2011, 11:16 AM
    Comment on adviceishere's post
    If I say my age people will just tell me that I am too young and I isn't going to listen to that basically if I don't get him back I will end up killing myself :'(
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #7

    Apr 8, 2011, 11:20 AM

    that is not relevant

    Yes, it is. Poor spelling and writing tell those who read your posts that you are very young and haven't been in school very long.

    We need to know your age in order to give you the best advice considering your situation. If you are 63, our advice would be different from the advice we would give if you are 12.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #8

    Apr 8, 2011, 11:21 AM

    Basically what you're threatening to do is called emotional blackmail.

    If you are seriously depressed,go see your doctor,or better still ask your parents to take you.
    adviceishere's Avatar
    adviceishere Posts: 1,027, Reputation: 492
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    #9

    Apr 8, 2011, 11:21 AM

    Given what you typed in your post we are absolutely going to take you seriously, you might be young but your clearly not coping well and yes, this can be because your young but we're here to help
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #10

    Apr 8, 2011, 11:23 AM

    if i say my age people will just tell me that i am too young and i aint going to listen to that basically if i dont get him back i will end up killing my self

    Can't you see how young you are showing yourself to be?

    Do you have a plan?

    And, of course, we will take you seriously. We've all been young and in love. But stop it with the silliness and immaturity.
    NukeNC's Avatar
    NukeNC Posts: 80, Reputation: 43
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    #11

    Apr 8, 2011, 11:54 AM

    Obviously we know your young, ecspecially since you aren't revealing your age because we might think your too young. Someone saying "I'm going to kill myself" over a relationship break up, is one of my biggest pet peeves. NOBODY is worth ending your life over, I don't care if you've been with your significant other for 70 years its still not worth it.

    Your young, its not like there aren't plenty of fish in the sea. And you really aren't giving us enough info, but considering your young I'm going to assume you guys haven't been together for more than a year, if that. You need to take a step back and concentrate on YOU, don't concentrate on getting your boyfriend back. This actually could be easier to move on from if you let it, you didn't suffer heart break because his parents made the decision for you.

    Concentrate on you, and take care of yourself. If your that emotionally unstable that your willing to kill yourself over a puppy love relationship then you probably shouldn't be in a relationship in the first place.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #12

    Apr 8, 2011, 01:26 PM

    If I correctly understand what you wrote, you had been talking to him daily for 7 months and you were a couple for 3-4 months. You say you are young (I am guessing he is too) and you spent a night alone with him. His parents found out and don't trust either one of you. Now, you are blaming them because you and he went too far (even though sex supposedly didn't occur) and they put a stop to it in the way any responsible parents would.

    There is a lot left out of your story such as where YOUR parents are and what their feelings about this subject are. Are you are on any medications and/or seeing a therapist/counselor/psychiatrist? You also leave out how two young people came to be alone for an entire night. Did his parents know you were dating before you spent the night together? Did your parents know?

    You're depressed and need help. Since you know you are depressed and that you are hurting yourself, you also know that you need to tell someone who can get you the help you need which is not convincing his parents to let you go out again.

    It seems to me that he broke his parent's trust in him. That is something he is going to have to work on regaining. It is not something that you can fix.

    You cannot do anything right now other than get yourself help. By working on making yourself a stronger person, you will be showing everyone how mature you are and that you can handle a relationship where trust needs to be rebuilt. It will go father than anything else in changing his parent's perception of you and any relationship you have with their son.

    Mend yourself so that you can mend the relationships.
    meredithxxx's Avatar
    meredithxxx Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Apr 8, 2011, 02:18 PM
    We didn't spend the whole night together, only 8-11 that's it, and sorry this discussion isn't about my age, its how you can help me.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #14

    Apr 8, 2011, 02:34 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by meredithxxx View Post
    we didn't spend the whole night together, only 8-11 that's it
    Sorry if we misunderstood. We were going by what you had originally posted: but one night we spend the whole night together .

    this discussion isn't about my age, its how you can help me.
    Actually, yes, it is VERY MUCH about your age. If you are 28, the advice would be entirely different from what it would be if you are 12.

    If you are 28, we would tell you that you are an adult and your parents no longer are in charge of you. If you are under 18 and live at home, your parents are totally responsible for you and you must honor and obey them.

    As Cat said, you and your boyfriend have broken your parents' trust and now must work hard to get it back. I suspect you don't have to actually get your boyfriend back. If he loves you and cares about what is going on, he's at home thinking about you just like you are thinking about him.

    Both of you have a big job ahead of you -- not to get back together (that will happen), but to regain adults' trust.

    How do you think the two of you can do that?

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