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Medications are not at their all time high today,I slept for almost 5 hours last night and feel a little groggy this AM.
I have been sleeping almost 16-18 hours a day for the past few weeks,hence, the lack of posts(and responses)
My best guess,sleep too much,feel guilty for doing it, sleep 'normal' feel a little groggy,but alive anyway.
I have gained a few pounds this winter on these meds and I want to take it off soon,more activity(as Bluerose stated in another post) and less sugar in my diet(as my brother stated in his last e-mail)might just do the trick!
Hi Ken,
Glad you had a cheerful moment. Those meds, I think that going off them is part of the disease. Can you work them into your routine so that they are not easily forgotten, tape them to the toilet flush handle, or put them in a hard container in your pillow?
My husband bought me some soap. It was on the kitchen table. I didn't know it was even there, but I was in the kitchen grinning from ear to ear. Sage soap. Well, maybe it's just me and the sage.
Sugar is both depressing and addictive. It can be harder to stay away from it this time of year.
I went away for a while because I didn't understand what KBC was saying about addiction. I still don't, to be honest. I was just hurt and felt humiliated--bad time of year--like I had talked too much and needed to be silenced. Also, importantly, I have been trying to meet a writing deadline (still haven't finished my project..), plus all the extra demands that happen this time of year. I would like to get back to talking here though, as I think this stuff is important. I'm sorry for being silent.
I stumbled on a copy of Bradshaw's book about toxic shame and read some of that a couple of weeks ago. My bf had it on his shelf. I still think it's apropos to this thread. It looks like our discussion is back here after all? I never did know where it went for a while. I don't understand how threads can be moved or what a sticky is. There's still a lot about Ask Me I don't get.
So anyway, about a month ago, I got a pill box for myself-- one that says Sun, Mon, Tues, on each of 7 little compartments--and it has helped me remember to take my pills a LOT!
My bf who is on antidepressants also forgets whether he took his (and is really weird when he forgets.) I gave him a pillbox even though he didn't like the idea, thought it would make him feel old and decrepit.
A friend called me to wish me happy holidays yesterday and after we talked awhile, she asked if I was still on meds, and I know she disapproves of my using pain medication.
I'm glad KBC had a cheerful moment on 12/25. I can't remember if you have tried light therapy? It helps me a little if I make a point of getting out in the sunlight first thing in the morning and getting a certain number of hours of bright light each day. I haven't tried an artificial light, but i figure it can't be as good as Old Sol. But both can't be bad, yes? I hope everyone here is having happy moments and making beautiful moments.
I will again say, I didn't mean to sound judgmental(that was a perception)My words were for the further discussion of shame and toxic shame to be,also, included in the addictions area.
My opinion is based on my life(addict,hence addictive thoughts,alcoholic,hence alcoholic behaviors and sensitivity to them both)I am a selfish person by nature,making all topics about ME(the most important person in the room...lol)If I saw addictive behavior, I mirrored the image unto myself and began to go off topic with the ideas of shame and toxic shame.
Truly, I didn't mean any harm, and again I apologize for any misunderstanding between us.
KBC,
Oh! Now I get it! This is actually the first time I understood what you meant. Thanks very much for explaining again. (I think I understand. Because to me toxic shame and regular shame can apply to anything, not just addictions. They can apply to procrastination or lying or infidelity. Yes? My only addiction until now has been coffee. I am now on Fentanyl and methadone for pain control (broken back, sciatica, more), and the pain doctor and others say I am NOT an Addict, just chemically dependent, but of course society says I'm addict and I'm filled with middle class shame about that. I don't know which kind it is yet.) Anyway, put your socks on and sweep up the glass. I obviously have my own issues... I am probably selfish too.
It is a beautiful first day of the new year. I woke up too early -- 4 am, probably mild depresssion. So I got up then and wrote and read some, fed my cats, took a walk at 7 am, then went back to sleep from 10 am to 1.
I had this plan to go to a lower dose of medication to see if I can handle my pain without so much drug--which causes me to go into mild withdrawal every other day. I was supposed to do it next week (my plan), but it depends on finishing a chapter and I have sabotaged myself by procrastinating on the chapter. So basically, I can't do it until I do the writing job. Nobody says I have to do this, and my doctor told me last year I shouldn't rock the boat if I'm functioning and able to work. But I think MAYBE I'd work better on a loser dose of fentanyl, have fewer ups and downs every two days. No way to know without trying it though and it means taking some time off from my obligations. It's hard to plan, but I know that is just excuses.
Happy New Year!
Time for resolutions--exercise more to reduce my chronic pain, stop procrastinating, manage my kids better, get on a lower dose, and maybe earn more money. Those are mine, in that order. Do others here have any?
OK, my ISOLATION is in full bloom,,,go figure...lol
I am totally complaint to my meds though, still this has been the best winter I have had for 20+ years now,same meds,same everything, just no winter time deep depression yet,maybe it'll just not show up this year,heres hoping!
I hope to be back in AMHD more regularly in the near future.
I have quit smoking....so the nicotine withdrawal has become awful. Not just on me, but my family.
I go back on my meds next Friday. This semester is already becoming too hard. I need something to help me get over the hump. I go through this every few years, and with my father's background, I can see when I need a little extra boost.
Well, back on the Celexa and the Klonopin next week. I hope I can wake in the mornings for school.
I have quit smoking....so the nicotine withdrawal has become awful. Not just on me, but my family.
I go back on my meds next Friday. This semester is already becoming too hard. I need something to help me get over the hump. I go through this every few years, and with my father's background, I can see when I need a little extra boost.
Well, back on the Celexa and the Klonopin next week. I hope I can wake in the mornings for school.
Hey, hope the meds help ya,I know you understand them and use them for the right purposes.(but the stop smoking thing....ugggggh, really tough, I am routing for you!)
April deadline? Oh, that, in my siggy. I am deep in school this semester, deeper than any other. I have less time now to spend with my family, thus even less time to spend here at the desk. Last day of school is April 28.
The quitting smoking has been a little tough, but with the help of the Chantix it's much easier than cold turkey. I hope the meds work too. This is a combo I have always been able to rely on with my situational anxiety, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they work again.
How have things been going for you? Days still aren't long enough I'm sure.
I obviously have my own issues... I am probably selfish too.
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