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    koyyan's Avatar
    koyyan Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 27, 2008, 04:40 PM
    She wants to date other people
    I started dating a woman two months ago, and we have recently developed into an intimate relationship. She has said things like "you are everything I want in a man," etc. We have common interests and are honest with each other. In short we seem to be compatible and from what I see, we have a healthy relationship.
    She is now emphasizing, after we became intimate, that she wants to date other people, while still seeing me, basically backpedaling our relationship into just dating again. She has had previous relationships that have lasted very long, but then ended by her because of some "issues." She has all along professed to me that she wants an open relationship, that she wants to date other people so she doesn't make the same mistakes again, thereby wasting time. Yet we became intimate, and now she is confused that she isn't doing what she promised herself she would do after her last relationship. I have always been open to her dating other people, but since we gave become intimate, it bothers me now. She is confused on how WE should proceed. My only answer to her is that I want her to be happy and I hope that I am the one for her. Should I just break it off or give her time before seeing me again after she has dated others? She also says it's not about me, it's about her not making the same mistakes she made in the past.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Jun 27, 2008, 04:54 PM
    Whatever she says I think that's what she will do and recognize its kind of early in this relationship to understand, or know her that well, no matter what those strong or intense feelings of attraction , or compatibility may be telling you. She is not confused at all, but you are. She knows what she wants, and has told you. That's not confusion, she doesn't want an exclusive relationship with you, so the real question is what are you going to do about it? Better decide before this thing gets to be OPEN, in reality. Honestly, she gave you fair warning so if you can't stand the heat..!
    koyyan's Avatar
    koyyan Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jun 27, 2008, 05:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman
    Whatever she says I think thats what she will do and recognize its kind of early in this relationship to understand, or know her that well, no matter what those strong or intense feelings of attraction , or compatibility may be telling you. She is not confused at all, but you are. She knows what she wants, and has told you. Thats not confusion, she doesn't want an exclusive relationship with you, so the real question is what are you going to do about it? Better decide before this thing gets to be OPEN, in reality. Honestly, she gave you fair warning so if you can't stand the heat.............................................. !!!!!
    Fair enough. My thinking is to leave it up to her to call me if she wants to see me again.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #4

    Jun 27, 2008, 05:24 PM
    I think you had your hopes up too high and overlooked what she meant.
    She said she wanted an open relationship and THEN you got intimate with her thinking or hoping she would want only you in the process. Now she is verifying that she wants an open relationship. You value intimacy while it seems to scare her off --or something.
    Since you are not seeing eye to eye on this I think the best thing you can do is drop her at least until she is done and over with the open relationship viewpoint.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Jun 27, 2008, 06:09 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by koyyan
    Fair enough. My thinking is to leave it up to her to call me if she wants to see me again.
    You don't mind being a booty call?? :confused:
    ylaira's Avatar
    ylaira Posts: 1,193, Reputation: 118
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    #6

    Jun 27, 2008, 06:40 PM
    so what we're all thinking here is can u live with what she wants?
    ylaira's Avatar
    ylaira Posts: 1,193, Reputation: 118
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    #7

    Jun 27, 2008, 06:41 PM
    If u can't u know what to do... Anyway, if she wants to bed other men, u have no control about it. At least she's honest. Just need a little stomach I guess.
    ylaira's Avatar
    ylaira Posts: 1,193, Reputation: 118
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    #8

    Jun 27, 2008, 06:59 PM
    Love and relationship advice : romantic ideas...

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