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Lucy Lucas · Jan 23, 2009, 08:09 AM

My 8 year old granddaughter saw blood in a toilet and an empty tampon roll in the ladies bathroom at a gym yesterday. How do I explain to her what she saw?

ScottGem · Jan 23, 2009, 08:12 AM

I would suggest a trip to the library. There are some good books written about how to have the birds and bees talks. Talk to the librarian and ask for recommendations. Read the books yourself and pick out just the information you think she needs to know and can assimilate.

But I must first ask where is the mother? This is really the mother's responsibility and you shouldn't be telling your granddaughter anything without the mother's permission.

KISS · Jan 23, 2009, 10:15 AM

Maybe something like:

About once a month during a certain period during a women's life an egg is released. If it does not become a baby, then the egg is disposed of as blood. A women catches this byproduct with various products for a few days and throws it away.

Ber Rabbit · Jan 23, 2009, 10:36 AM

Kids that age can understand a lot. Keep in mind they are going to tell all their friends everything you say so keep it factual. Mysterious talk using terms like "monthly visitor" intimidates some kids--who is this visitor that makes people bleed? The trip to the library is a good idea so you can get an idea of how to present it to a girl that age.

You would be surprised how much they know at that age. My nephew (7-year-old) came home from school and told my sister one of the boys was calling everyone "gay." My nephew had asked the boy what he meant by gay and the kid (also in 1st grade) said: "It means boys who kiss other boys and lick their wieners." My sister was NOT pleased with that particular child to say the least.
Ber

ScottGem · Jan 23, 2009, 12:23 PM

Originally Posted by KeepItSimpleStupid

Maybe something like:

About once a month during a certain period of time during a women's life an egg is released. If it does not become a baby, then the egg is disposed of as blood. A women catches this byproduct with various products for a few days and throws it away.

I'm not sure I agree with this. Even with an 8 yr old, the concept of bleeding can be scary. I would be more inclined to explain more about the placenta, then call it bleeding.

But I still think the OP is better off going to the library for suggestions. And I also don't think the OP should be doing this without the mother's permission.

DoulaLC · Jan 23, 2009, 01:28 PM

At eight, she may not be long off starting her period herself. I have had it happen twice in school with my nine and ten year olds in class. One little girl was very unprepared and her father was surprised he would have to deal with the topic so soon.
Keep it simple... a girl's body will start to change so that when she is older she will be able to have babies if she decides to. Explain the cycle, what is sometimes felt and what is seen, and the purpose for it. Let her know about the common ways it is dealt with each month. It is a sign of growing up, nothing she has to be fearful of, and that all girls will experience it.
Books can certainly be helpful for reference, pictures, etc..
I agree, if mom is in the picture, she should be the one to bring it up, but if she's not... or is not comfortable with the topic, then definitely do so yourself. Answer her questions, but you can certainy keep things age appropriate and don't need to go into anymore detail then is necessary for now. Odds are she will be satisifed with a basic explanation.

ScottGem · Jan 23, 2009, 05:45 PM

Originally Posted by DoulaLC

I agree, if mom is in the picture, she should be the one to bring it up, but if she's not...or is not comfortable with the topic, then definitely do so yourself.

I agree with every part of DoulaLC's response except this. Clearly if the mother is not in the picture, then you can handle it. But if the mom IS in the picture, then this has to come through her. Maybe you do it together or maybe you sit down with her and show her how to do it. But no way should you be doing it instead of her. Until we know where the mother is, I would vehemently disagree with not having the mother do it.