My husband has been out of work for a year. I make a decent living but I also work on contracts fo rthe Gov't and since htose are bein gpulled daily- I may not have a job for very long. My husband handles the money and he does a wonderful job for the most part- but he gets mad a tme for every penny that I spend. He keeps the checking acocunt so limited ( he puts everything in a seperate savings) except for the bill money. If I spend anything- he gets upset and says that i should have checked the account to make sure there was money in there. Now that makes sense except that even for a 10.00 purchase I have to check the account? For every little thing- I have to check the account beforehand. I do not spend a lot of money- especially on myself My job requires that I look professional and yet- I do not ever get my nails done, I only buy clothes/ shoes that are on sale and very rarely ( most of the time it is my mom buying me presents or b-day money- I am 36 years old- UGH!) - I understand that my husband is trying to good things and I feel guilty because he does everythng around the house, but I find myself being a little resentful becasue if he was working we wouldnt have to watch every penny so close but he says that would not solve anything- it would just make us spend more and end up in moore debt. I am so tired of having to ask permission or justify every cent when I work hard and make all the money- HElp!!!!

Jake2008

If there is enough money to spend $40.00 instead of $20.00, why not just tell him it's your money too, and you've got it covered.

This isn't so much about the budget as it is the need to control it. Maybe that's all he feels he can control at this point, and he wants to do a good job of it. Maybe he doesn't mean to come off as so penny pinching, but figures that this is his role right now, and he's going to do a good job of it.

You could also try to sit down with him every payday, and have him show you how he's got things budgeted. Speak up if you see something that could be done differently, or if you want to change something. Participate in the planning of the household money.

When things get back to more normal, and he's working, then would be the time to make some adjustments. Open your own bank account, and deposit some money in it. You would at least have the satisfaction of having some savings should something come up like an unexpected death in the family and you need the gas or air fare etc.

Hopefully his unemployment is temporary. But, if he is trying hard to do the right thing, and you can sit and discuss money with him when the cheque comes in, you'll both feel involved more.

I think that all things considered, if I were in your position, I'd rather have him busy and involved, rather than sitting playing video games all day long and depressed.