Hey everyone.
I'm the tough guy who doesn't cry, at all and I've been hurt really really bad. I caught my wife having sex via texting for over 30 days every day with a social friend of ours. She claims they never met and never had actual sex. They also shared pictures with each other and you know the pain I'm going through, it hurts really bad. I married my wife 6 years ago and knew her for 6 years prior to that. One of the biggest reasons I married her was her family values and core beliefs of a family. Now after 6 years she was caught. She did at least come clean after telling me several lies through 3 days of denial. How do I know that more of this wont happen and something else happened that I don't know about. She is actually in counseling as i type this, but I'm really hurt. WE have a beautiful home on the water, two beautiful girls and I'm in shock! I knew things weren't right cause she bought the new iphone and was texting all day and all night and i knew something was up. Our sex life has always been good and like so many other couples, marrige is hard on everyone, but I just don't know what to do. I'm an awesome father, a successful business owner and I am so weak right now that I don't know what to do. any help would be great!!!
thanks for reading.

middlemichelle

My question was about the tattoo issue. I needed to hear some thoughts, and I thank you all who have responded. I just don't want to hurt him any more than I have, I love him dearly. I just want to make sure we don't make crazy decisions that we or I will regret later or resent him for. But I don't want him for a second to think I don't want this to work, I do.

N0help4u

Besides him putting the tattoo issue aside
I think the best thing the TWO of you can do is
use this as a rule of thumb to work it out
every morning ask yourself (him too) what can I do
"in the best interest of my spouse today?"

talaniman

Yes, I think the tattoo issue is a smoke screen, for a larger issue.

middlemichelle

Thanks for all the support and help everyone, we are off to counseling on Monday again! Wish us luck. We really do love each other so much, I am excited to get my best friend back! We will be a success story!

gotcaught

the tattoo, must go. In my mind it reminds me of a time when she was out running around and being very selfish with her acations. The tatttoo if it had true meaning, she would not have done what she did. She knows and has known for many years how I feel about tattoos on my wife. Yes I married her with one, but I knew that going into this marriage. I told her from the day one when she discussed getting the tatto that I did not like them and I did not want them in our house. Not what I want. Yes, it's her body, but I married her for her beauty and the tatto is not beautiful to me. My thoughts if you want this artwork, put it on a picture and hang it on the wall, not on your back where the world can see it. Her hair does not cover it and she'll never be able to wear the hair up again.
I know others may think I am wrong, but I am stern on this and will not bend. Yes, our marriage is first and foremost, but my wife over the last 6 months was someone I didn't even know and our kids didn't even know. This tatto reminds me of the last 6 months and my wifes selfish wasy of doing things without discussing the long term effects of the situation.
Other than that, our marriage or issues are going ok, good 1/2 days and bad 1/2 days. I try to live one hour at a time. My wife and counselor both told me to get off this forum last week and I did just that. This will be my last statement.
I needed you all in a big big way when I first heard about what my wife did to me and the family and our friends, but now I must move on and say a big THANK YOU for all your help and kinds words. Thanks and best of luck to all of you.

sassyT

I am afriad i agree with gotcaught on this issue. The tatoo was a rebelion against your husband and every time he sees it, it is going to remind him of this time in your life.
He told you he did not like tatoos but you still went and got one. Why would you do that?
To me the whole story of it symbolizing your family sounds like an excuse.

You got this tatoo during the time you were distancing yourself from your family and having sexual encounters with another man. Ofcourse your husband is gonna hate the tatoo! what do you expect?
You should accually be rejoicing that your husband has chosen to work things out because a lot of people will not put up with infidelity.
So if you are really sorry about what you did and you love your Husband and family, i would suggest you remove that tatoo. That is the least you can do to help your husband get over the betrayal.
Besides tatoos on the neck are kinda trashy.. sorry thats just my opinion.

MyLife777

One thing I didnt see anyone post is...take a step back, and go on a vacation together. Getting away can do wonders to a relationship if the two of you are willing to try to get past the hurt. Sorry if this sounds shallow but it can truly help. And take the kids too! It is a family vacation and when it comes down to it...its all about family.

igman

Hi. I just joined and was wondering if you still wanted to discuss this ? I know what you are going through.