Hi,

Me and my wife have been married for 8 years, and last week I found out she is in love with another man through the internet. She was always a chatter, but I was getting suspicious.
She always used to get up one hour before work, but lately it had been 2 hours.
And one day I woke up to use the bathroom, she was out of bed, chatting.
ďOh thatís just a friendĒ she said.
I was getting worried, I just got that feeling that something was wrong, and last week after she went to bed, I snooped in her laptop.
There were signs already. I used to know all her e-mail passwords and she never had a problem with me checking it. Not that I did, but it never bothered her.
But when I tried to get in that evening, I found she had changed all her passwords.
The one thing I was able to do, was enable all chat logs on her messengers.

The next morning she got up, 2 hours early and went online to chat.
As soon as I heard the car leave, I got up and found the logs.
And my suspicion was confirmed, she is in love with another man.
As soon as I found out, I called her cellphone, and she turned around, came home crying and sobbing. She told me how sorry she was, and how bad she felt for me.
For a long time she had been trying to get my attention and appreciation, which, according to her, I didnít give. Now I know I have made mistakes, and I am guilty of not always being a good listener, or helpful in the things she did.
She also told me that she wasnít ready to give him up.

She always had friends to chat with, and I was OK with that, I have friends on my messengers too. But one of her friends turned out to be a little more than just a friend.
He is a married 41 yr old from Germany and we live in the US. They fell in love.
She said it had been going on for about a month, that it was becoming more than a friendship. Now he even calls her at work.

When she got home that morning, she told me that if she had to choose, she would choose herself and live by herself. And that was not I wanted, and still not want. If she moved out, I know for a fact that sheíd still be chatting with him.

I found out the next Friday how serious this is.
His wife tried to commit suicide and my wife told him, itís over.
I couldnít have been happier. But I wasnít cause I saw the hurt and pain in her eyes.
All day long she was sobbing and crying in bed. And when I tried to hug her, she pushed me away. Later that evening she got on the computer, and they got back together.
Her mood changed almost instantly.

It has been a extreme hard week. Everything is a big ďI donít knowĒ for her.
She doesnít know who she wants, she doesnít know what she wants.
Yesterday morning she got some bad news about him.
He had been seriously injured in a car accident, and was hospitalized.
She was really upset about this. To make things easier between us, I asked if she could stop seeing me as a husband but as a friend. She sobbed and nodded yes, and than came to me for a hug. Itís far from perfect, but I love her so much that I will go through hell and back for her. If I had only shown it sooner.
It is really hard to be a friend and seeing her chat with him.

I feel I am losing my mind, and at times I honestly donít know what to do.

There are three main reasons I simply cannot give up:
- My daughter who is 5
- My step son who is 13
- My wife

Those 3 are my life, and I will not give up without a fight.
I feel like itís a do or die situation.and it feels at times that I am losing.
Itís hard, very hard. Itís the only thing on my mind.

I know a week isnít a long time, but I could definitely use some help.
And please, kicking her out is the absolute last thing Iíll do, and I am not there yet.