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my wife had an affair and it has ended. she said it was a mistake and she doesnt talk to him anymore. i khow this is a lie, because i checked her phone records and they talk alot to each other. she is very defensive when i bring the affair up. i am tired of being lied to. what should i do?
First of all, I am very sorry, I know it must hurt.
Honestly not much you can do.
You have options.
1.Tell her not to see or talk to him and delete him from the phone book.
but then again you cant control someones life and who they speak to.
2. Go have a talk with the guy. Shes your wife, he should respect you and her. (If you do this try not to get voilent haha)
3. Ask your wife why she did that, how she truly feels about you. You wouldn't want to waste your time in soemthing that will hurt you
4. Lay it down straight. Your as every bit of human as she ask. Ask her how she would feel if you went out with girls and slept with them?
5. Marriage consoling
6. Leave her
that is VERY drastic and i do not suggest it.
also think about it, if she "loves you" why would she hurt you? Why would she even need another guy to kiss and hug and do whatever with? You can provide the same service. You have to talk to her about this.. Dont let her waste your time. ITs very drastic to leave someone but if she loves you and does this, ask your self is it worth it? how long have you two been married?
If you love her and your willing to stay, I say go for counciling, if not sadly you should leave her.
No violence, or divorce is needed. Just a little more compromise. Counciling is great.
I dont want to sound like I'm telling you to leave her. Haha not what I'm tyring to say at all. I hope you understood.
If she can't stop lying I don't see a reason to continue with the relationship. If there is no trust it will never work.
If she can delete this guy from her life and you feel that you can get over her affair then maybe some counsling can help you.
Good luck to you.
You have every right to bring it up. Too bad if she gets defensive, she really hurt you and you deserve to have all the answers. Talking about it will help you both, so she needs to allow you that. This is her fault and she needs to take responsibility.
I would highly recommend a marriage counselor. You both need to sit down with a mediator and decide if this marriage is something you both want to pursue. If she refuses to go, that may be an indicator of how she feels, but there is nothing stopping you from going alone. There are a lot of hurt feelings, and only time will tell what can happen; but for success in moving forward, both of you have to make an effort.
i'm so sorry thαt you hαve to go through this-- it mαkes me so sαd when mαrriαges hαve hαrd bumps like this-- this could be α) α fαll down b) α begining of α new chαpter...
gut feeling tells me she's lying-- you hαve her phone records? i'd go see this guy..knock him out..[k no violence but god homewreckers piss me right the @#*$! off!!]
tell your wife strαight up to stop plαying gαmes- if she wαnt to be α little hoe αnd open her legs then its over [i hope your not going to αccept this αnd live like the "other mαn" in her life..not good] or to end it αnd go to mαritαl counciling [this would SERIOUSLY do some dαmαge control!!!]-- tell your "wife" whαts on your mind αnd how it hurt you-- tαke her fricken cellphone αwαy-- she αcted like α mindless child so she should be treαted like one..
Tell her you know she is lying. You are not stupid. Don't hide the fact that you know the truth. Truth hurts, and for someone who thinks she's getting away with something, it usually shocks the system to find out you know the truth. I would give her an ultimatum. Tell her she has her choice. She can have her marriage, and all the things in her marriage that she loves, or she can have him. But she cannot have both.
Tell her that she can have him if she wants, but remind her that karma's a kick in the pants. It will do nothing but feed the other guy's ego if you contact him and tell him to stay away from your wife. Think of him as completely insignificant if it helps.
If she says she wants to work it out, I agree with the PP, you should seek counseling. But keep monitoring those phone records.
You may want to try a trial separation as well. Sometimes the only way someone can realize what they have is to lose it. If you tell her she can have her freedom, but it's not all it's cracked up to be, it may be better for you.
First, don't go see the guy, all that will do is start more problems.
Most of the time a person that cheats will cheat forever. If you make her stop seeing him she will find another. The only way to stop it is to find out why she needs the other man. It could be as simple as you spending to much time working or playing and she needs the attention. It could be she needs more sexual attention. It could be she is a cheater and enjoys the thrill of cheating. I don't know but unless you can get her to open up and talk it out she is going to cheat on you.
If you can't find the answer soon then you can live with the lies or walk away and in time find mrs. right that will treat you like a special guy you are.
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