Why won't my husband show me affection?
Asked Jul 9, 2012, 03:37 PM
We have been married 14 years. I have a step-daughter that is 18 and we have an 11 year old daughter together. He had an affair when I was pregnant but we worked through that. Then we went through a period where he emotionally abused me and embarrised me in public. We went for counseling for that and it got better. Then we went through a 3 year period where we had sex a total of 13 times only to be broken when we had a major fight that I initiated. After a year or two he had an internet affair, that he still denies, but I have copies of the emails to prove it. Now, I am getting no affection what so ever from him and only sex when he wants it. If I initiate it, you can guess it will be a fight. If I don't have sex when he wants it then it is hard to tell the next time it will happen. Two days ago he reach out, put his arm around me and pulled me close. I told him that he had done something that made me happier than I had been in a long time and he guessed it! So why does he not do it more often. Just initiate a hug or hold my hand or give me a compliment. Am I asking for too much? I am very unhappy but refuse to think divorce. I was not raised that way and I am trying to hold things together for my family. I have prayed to not want affection and it was answered, but then I didn't even want his occasional, so that was not a good answer. Again, am I asking for too much? What can I do? He refuses to ever go to a counselor. Help!