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Personally in my opinion if you cannot to be faithful to your significant other or even to yourself you are not ready for marriage. When you love someone for who and what they are you should have no need or want to stray. Marriage is a mental, sprirtual and physical connection to one another and the vows spoken should never be broken. Now i'm not saying that people should never divorce. some people just are not right for some people. but if you do love the person and they love you neither side should have problems with being faithful or true and honest.
Personally I don't think so....but of course it will depend on a person's personality.
I have had plenty of ups and downs in marriage but would never consider being unfaithful....it just doesn't enter the picture for me. Even if I see someone who is attractive, I might think, "Oh, he's really cute...nice arms", whatever, but that's as far as it goes.
I think it is part of how people handle the rough patches, that will come up from time to time, and how committed you are to the marriage and the relationship with your partner.
When things get challenging, the grass may seem greener on the other side....but you soon find that you still have to mow it....
Honestly in my opinion there is a difference between being unfaithful and looking at a person. my significant other and i talk about other men and women all the time if they are attractive, what we like about them etc... but that is not cheating or being unfaithful. unfaithful to me is someone who looks, talks, then follows through with connecting either emotionally or physically and does not remain true to the person they say they care about (sexual actions are not the only form of cheating. some people agree that emotional cheating is possible also
I agree there certainly is a difference....I was just suggesting that some people will feel a desire to follow through with action and involvement when they meet someone they feel is attractive....usually when they feel they aren't having their needs or wants met from their partner.
Many others will naturally notice attractive people, but they don't have any desire to persue any sort of relationship with someone else.
No, I do not believe it hard to be faithful. It is a statement of your personal commitment to the marriage.
One story and one thought for you.
When we were in our mid twenties we moved from NY to Virginia Beach. The apartment complex had a pool and one day my lady and I were there with our son. Well a young very tan, very good looking woman waked by. She was only wearing a very skimpy white bikini.
From my position lying on the ground next to my wife, I watched the wonderful rhythmic walk from one end of the pool to the other. Then came the tap on the shoulder and the question, "What are you looking at?" Without thinking I simply said, "Her." and pointed.
First message to you, think before you respond! Second message Know what you are going to say!
Now the rule I've come to live by:
I don't go anywhere or do anything that I can't come home and tell my lady about. If there is something that I'm thinking of doing and I'm not sure, I will either call her and ask her if she minds, (a simple courtesy). If I know what she will say, then I also do not do it.
Want to guess how much trouble I've been able to stay out of just by being courteous to my lady?
Being faithful and true are the cornerstone of a good marriage. If you cannot be true to the one you claim to love, then how you can be true to yourself?
There are always going to be temptations in our lives. As human beings we are very emotional, not at all like animals, their only thought is survival, love, feelings, they don't enter into it. There is no jealousy in the animal world, no "cheating" or loss of trust.
As human beings we have a choice. We can choose to be faithful to our partners, or choose to stray. There is no such thing as an accidental affair, or not being able to help yourself, you have free will, it's all up to you.
I love my husband. Could I find happiness elsewhere? I'm sure I could, but I choose not to.
Am I attracted to other men? Yes, I'm human, married, not dead, but I don't allow myself to be put into a situation where I could cheat. It's a conscious choice, and only you can make it.
I was once attracted to this guy at work and we had to spend time together as we were cooks in a restaurant.He was always flirting.We were in a busy kitchen so we often touched to move each other aside.It happens in that line of work.Every time he touched me I got such a rush.It was such a turn-on.
I felt that if I did not do something proactive I was going to cheat.
Since I knew the limitation of my resolve,I decided not to tempt fate and quit.
Attractions might happen,but what you do after that is up to you.
I knew I loved my BF and I did not want to sacrifice a roll in the hay for our committed relationship.
I was overwhelmed with guilt simply because I had a physical reaction to this guy.If I had cheated I would never have forgiven myself.
have to agree with altenweg, being faithful is a choice and if you really are in love with someone you will not want to stray and you will not put yourself into situations where you could cheat. are you still going to notice other people, yes. are other people still going to notice you, hopefully . but at the end of the day, it's your spouse that should put that goofy grin on your face and they should be the one that you can't wait to get your hands on at night. being a young mother and wife myself i have noticed other men who are attractive and may have even had a fantasy and a dream or two but i would never actually pursue anything with anyone else because when you step back and look at the big picture a meaningless fling is not worth losing the man you love and the family and life you have or will build together. anyone can get or be a peice of a@#, but having a good marriage and family are things that not everyone is lucky enough to have and are things that everyone wants whether thay admit it or not. at some point in your life what you have means nothing if you don't have someone you love to share it with, someone who is as commited to you as you are to them. good luck and if you love this person put some effort into making it work. try new things, act out personal fantasies. make your needs known so that you can be fullfilled in your relationship and not feel the need to look elsewhere.
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