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    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #21

    Feb 8, 2009, 05:45 AM

    You are correct, the postpartum depression does not excuse it but it does offer a possible explanation. Sometimes, when dissatified with a relationship... for whatever reason, people first take it personally and look elsewhere... the grass might be greener sort of thing. Not necessarily that they would act upon it... although some people do, hence affairs, but to know they have options can be a boost to the fragile ego. Unfortunately it sometimes takes the hurt of the one they love, or fear of losing a relationship to snap them into reality and realize they need to put that energy back into the relationship instead.

    Good that you discussed it some more and he was able to understand how it made you feel.

    Keep the communication going... wishing you much luck!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #22

    Feb 8, 2009, 06:55 AM

    Keep the lines of communications open, and be proactive in your treatments for depression. Good luck!
    DSM521's Avatar
    DSM521 Posts: 114, Reputation: 23
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    #23

    Feb 8, 2009, 09:40 AM
    I really do agree that communication is there key. Now that all the cards are on the table you both know how each other feel and were you are coming from. Ask him how he is doing, be affectionate toward him, and if you don't feel like sex then there are other things you can do to help him out in that department.

    On the flip side he needs to be really attentive to your feelings, helping you with your new baby, help out around the house, and all the things a good husband should do to be supportive of his wife that is struggling with something that is really hard to deal with.

    My wife suffered from postpartum as well. I know it is not an easy thing to deal with. Good luck our thoughts and prayers will be with you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #24

    Feb 8, 2009, 10:10 AM

    He probably has no clue what your going through, or how to deal with it. He needs some education, and friendly advice, and some outside support as well.
    shelley2307's Avatar
    shelley2307 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #25

    Mar 24, 2010, 12:17 AM

    I recently experience the same problem... I was playing with my husband's blackberry for work and found an email account in which he had mail from a couple of dating sites. I went ballistic and was devastated. We separated for several weeks and were discussing divorce until he called and asked me to go to dinner with him on my birthday. We have since gotten back together. Although, it is still hard for me to understand completely, he says he was missing attention from me. I do suffer from depression and find myself slipping into ruts where I do not want to do anything. His complaints were that we did not talk and I never wanted to go anywhere with him. And that was true. I feel like, yes, I do have some responsibility in it but at the same time he did not try talking to me about the problem. I do know for a fact that he did not make contact with anyone until after we were separated. I would love to hear how things are going for you and how you have coped with this situation. If you like, you can instant message me. My thoughts are with you and best wishes for you and your family.
    nitelight198073's Avatar
    nitelight198073 Posts: 470, Reputation: 76
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    #26

    Apr 1, 2010, 08:43 PM

    OK ladies and gentlemen he has been doing it again and this time it is over I am moving out I have had it
    I let it go for too long
    This time he was calling a girl and I called her
    He was lying to her as well so you know what screw him and the horse he rode in on
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #27

    Apr 2, 2010, 07:31 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by nitelight198073 View Post
    ok ladies and gentlemen he has been doing it again and this time it is over i am moving out i have had it
    i let it go for too long
    this time he was calling a girl and i called her
    he was lieing to her aswell so you know what screw him and the horse he rode in on
    I am sorry it came to this. Good luck getting your life back on track.
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
    Uber Member
     
    #28

    Apr 2, 2010, 07:36 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by nitelight198073 View Post
    ok ladies and gentlemen he has been doing it again and this time it is over i am moving out i have had it
    i let it go for too long
    this time he was calling a girl and i called her
    he was lieing to her aswell so you know what screw him and the horse he rode in on
    I am so sorry... I know the pain far too well. Wishing you peace and strength in your decision. Time really does heal... even if it doesn't always seem that way. Unfortunately there is no quick way to go through the process... surround yourself with family and friends.
    myagony1234's Avatar
    myagony1234 Posts: 101, Reputation: 43
    Junior Member
     
    #29

    Apr 4, 2010, 07:23 AM

    Dear nitelight,
    I am wondering if you are doing well with your baby... please focus on taking care of yourself and your baby.
    nitelight198073's Avatar
    nitelight198073 Posts: 470, Reputation: 76
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    #30

    Apr 4, 2010, 04:16 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by myagony1234 View Post
    dear nitelight,
    I am wondering if you are doing well with your baby... please focus on taking care of your self and your baby.
    Don't worry love me and my son are fine will be even better when I can move out of here we are still living together and all be he knows not to touch me or even want sex I am so done with him
    We will be better off once I find a place to go no uneeded stress on me or my baby
    nmyopinion's Avatar
    nmyopinion Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #31

    Nov 13, 2010, 09:53 AM
    I found out that my fiancé had joined a dating site. He then lied about it. We had moved to a different state together. His profile listed him in that state. He had to have done this when we were together. We broke up for about a year. During this time he of coarse joined more sites. He has not done it since we have been together again that I know of. If he does, we are over. There is no questions of a man's intentions for doing this. He is looking to score or is looking for a relationship and is to weak to end the one he is in first.
    Advice: Dogs bite anyone who gets in their way. Do not let him leave scars on you!

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