Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask

    Why does my husband ignore me?

    Asked Dec 3, 2013, 08:47 AM — 7 Answers
    I'm married since 6 years to my husband. We had sex like only on the first six month of our marriage. Now he does not even talk to me. When I try to start a conversation he's always angry, prefer playing games on internet. He can spend time on porn but not one eye on me.

    I've tried to bring this topic with him, so many times. He does not answer. I love my husband and want the loving person that he was back. I am a woman and I want to be loved like any other woman. He's 40 and am 28. We had an arranged marriage .

    This kind of life does not satisfy me but I want to improve it .He does not want to see any doctor or follow any therapy.


    Thank you

    Last edited by talaniman; Dec 3, 2013 at 01:51 PM.
    Search this Thread
    Share |
    7 Answers
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 6,596, Reputation: 1361
    Entomology Expert
     
    #2

    Dec 3, 2013, 12:02 PM
    If he won't see a doctor and won't go to counseling, then there is little else you can do. You either accept it or get a divorce at that point. There is no magic cure if he doesn't even want to deal with it at all.
    Helpful
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,247, Reputation: 3299
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #3

    Dec 3, 2013, 01:45 PM


    There is no guarantee that any marriage will work, arranged or not.

    But, regardless of how the marriage came about, there comes a time where, as it is with you, even basic needs are not being met. When the husband, in your case, ignores you, and dismisses your needs, and is unwilling to address issues, I don't know what you can do, except leave and divorce him.

    You say you love him, and I wonder if, at his age (40), he was under a lot of pressure to marry, and where he has ended up now, has resulted in bitterness, more than love. Expectations to marry under an arranged system, don't always allow parties to know each other well enough, or long enough, to know what they are getting into.

    I do hope that you can enlist the help of your parents, in order to express how unhappy you are. They may eventually come to realize that the marriage is just not going to work, and would help you out of the marriage.

    All the best of luck to you.
    Helpful
    Brian12's Avatar
    Brian12 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #4

    Dec 4, 2013, 06:29 AM
    Be better in the bedroom... tease him with your clothes hair... make an extra effort.. if he's looking at porn.. your not doing enough for him.. up to you.
    Helpful
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 47,111, Reputation: 10295
    Senior Family & People Expert
     
    #5

    Dec 4, 2013, 06:42 AM


    Does he object to you having your own social life with friends, family, and activities that you enjoy? More than likely his ignoring you is based in not knowing how, or his idea of what a happy house is different than yours.

    Without honest communications there can be no bonds built, or resolutions to issues that come up. If this has been going along for most of this arranged marriage then I can see your frustrations but talking is the only way out. Finding out how is difficult, but you have to sit him down and express yourself, whether he gets mad or NOT.
    Helpful
    aliseaodo's Avatar
    aliseaodo Posts: 1,461, Reputation: 238
    Movie Expert
     
    #6

    Dec 5, 2013, 09:01 AM
    Be better in the bedroom... tease him with your clothes hair... make an extra effort.. if he's looking at porn.. your not doing enough for him.. up to you.
    Hmmm... terrible advice.
    Helpful (1)
    MtnJoy's Avatar
    MtnJoy Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #7

    Dec 10, 2013, 09:21 AM
    I'm sorry to hear of your communication struggles with your husband. It's apparent that you love him and are wanting to make it work. Maybe a first step would be to simply spend time together doing other things than just talking. Then while you are enjoying an activity together, the communication or talking may naturally come. You'll have a common interest to talk about. I looked for some other communication helps that might help you and found this article. Check it out ~ perhaps there is a gem in there that could help you out.

    Also, you mentioned that your husband is viewing porn online. For further help on this matter, I'd encourage you to check out the website PureIntimacy.com. There is a lot of good information there.

    Sending prayers and hugs your way! Stay hopeful.
    Helpful
    ANGIE4124's Avatar
    ANGIE4124 Posts: 61, Reputation: 23
    Junior Member
     
    #8

    Dec 17, 2013, 03:56 PM
    Sadly you’re married to a man who’s married to the internet and porn, not to you as a woman. He cares very little for your needs and he will not return to the loving person he was… Be that it was only 6 months out of 6 years!

    Clearly he does not intend to satisfy you, as he sees no reason to see a doctor, get therapy/counselling or even talk to you as he should to his own wife. For me, that is not a marriage, but a marriage of convenience or an arranged marriage where you dance to his tune – suffer and weep under his rule Would I be right in saying; you still cook and keep house for him in the meantime while he goes about pleasing himself like a single man?

    Therefore you’ll have to weigh up the cost of staying married to such a man… Your love, talents and youth will all be wasted in waiting for him to improve! I’m sure even arranged marriages can have arranged Divorces or separations, and whilst this may appear humiliating, it should not reflect on you as he is the one who bought shame on this marriage.

    Best of luck
    Helpful

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Should I ignore her? [ 8 Answers ]

My girlfriend,she studies in india,and she is now here back to own country.. Out of thirty five days vacation now only ten days remained. Recently we 've not met much.. Don't know what shall I do. We love each other, but I'm not satisfied with her. She rarely contacts me. I can't even ignore her...

Why am I only paying c support for kids removed & husb not [ 3 Answers ]

My husband doesn't have to pay child support on our children the TN dcs took from us &placed in his parents custody but I am required to pay

Need to Ignore someone! [ 2 Answers ]

HI, I have a landline phone and I've made an enemy. He calls me on my home phone everyday and I don't like that. Anyone know how to ignore his phone number, so it doesn't ring when he calls or something like that. He's always leaving voice messages! :mad: I need help as soon as possible! Thanks!

My husbαnd is turning on me! Cαn I get some men's opinions pleαse [ 6 Answers ]

He's been αcting so mαcho chαuvist αnd treαting me like α second clαss citizen -- αll becαuse he cαn't trust me. When one I never cheαted on him, he keeps bringing up problems from the pαst continueously αnd I αlreαdy sαid I wαs sorry αnd owned up to them, αnd I've definαtely hαve not been giving...


View more questions Search