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well this goes back a few moths ago. my husband and i got married little over a year ago. and at our 6month mark his mother came down to see us. well to make a long story short, she is a big christian, and im not. well i guess the way that the house was (it was alittle on the messy side) she called me a bad wife and said that in the bible that i am a wife that means that i need to cook, clean and wait on my husband hand and foot.
well i have no problum cooking and cleaning seance i have no job. but before she came down i did. a fulltime job i workd 35-40 hours a weeek. so it was little hard to do all that. plus i worked the graveyard shift. my husband is in the navy so he works 40-50 hours a week. but the thing is that he bearly helped out. i thought that being married its a team thing, i thought that we had to work together to make it work. but from what his mother yelled at me it is MY job to work, keep the house clean, and have dinner ready for my husband when he got home. im sorry, but i think that is a little much to ask from one person.
well last night my husband and i got into alittle thing again, and the bable came up again. well now he wants me to read it...... well i have never even opened a bible. to make him happy i opened it and read the 2nd page and it told me that im going to hell.... lol like i didnt know that one already. but because im not a beliver and i have sined (like he hasent) im going to be put into the lake of fire.
anyways, i read like the firist 3 1/2 chapters and now my brain hurts. i dont know where all these other wemen came from. i mean from what i read eve had 3 sons, one died. but the others had wives, and there onw kids..... so where did these other wemen come from??????
i dont know if i should keep reading or just stop.
see this is my husbands idea. he grow up around the bible. the only time that i have entered a church is to bapties my 2 cusens, and my aunt.
i grew up thinking that we came from munkeys. the whole evaluation thing.... i mean im 21my whole life that is the only thing that i knew, and he knew this when we got married. so this is not a new thing for him, he said that was ok with him. he didnt mind, but all of a suden he does...... what is up with that.
i love him to death, and i guess all i want to know is that should i keep reading or not.
i just dont feel comfrtable reading it. what should i do.
am i in the worng????
If your husband is really intereated in you reading the bible and knows you have no knowledge of it why dont he take time out to help you understand it because I'm pretty should he knows its confusing. I mean do your even, especially him, go to church anyway? His mother have too much of an impact on him and needs to butt off and is the root of your marriage being turn upside down.
He know b4 walking down the aisle what you were and were'nt so whats the big deal now. He needs to stand up to his mom, but most likely he won't otherwise it would not have gone this far. You two needs to talk fast and when that happen let everything out.
His mother is dipping her nose in business that is not hers. And if your husband was in to the bible that much, he would have know he it is not a wise thing to marry a non believer, but since he has, instead of giving you the bible to read, he should follow the bible himself, and as the spiritual head of the home, go to church and bible study WITH you and help you to understand.
He also might politely tell his mother to mind her own business.
thank you for your advice.
he has not gone to church in years he told me. and i asked him about a few different parts in the bible when i got stuck and he said that he didnt know, and went back to his game. see that is all he does, goes to work, comes home plays his playstation for 8-10 hours, asks for a back rubb and goes to bed. i bealy get to talk to him. i really just dont know what o do anymore. im hurtting deeo inside and i dont know how to fix it. i talked to him last night and he told me that his mother is telling him to devorce me because i have not read the bible and im not a good house wife or what ever the she said. we have not had sex for a month, i have been soo depressed that i have not done the deshs in 2 days, i just dont want to do anything. i love this man but if his mother just does not bud out i just think we might really get a devorce.
he told me this morning that she might be coming to viset around the 14th of this month. i mean damn, we need to get our strate before we bring anyone over. but i have no say in anything that goes on in this house, i just cook clean get yelled at and just i guess sit there and look purtty.
like i said i dont know what to do anymore. 40% of me just wants all the pain to end, 55% loves him and im trying to talk to him but he will not lisen. and the 5% is that i want to go find a nice warm spot and cry for hours.
see if he will go to counseling with you, so that you can both work out the problem with an imparital party. tell him it's HIS duty as a promise he made in front of God upon marrying you to work through the bad times.
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyhousewife
thank you for your advice.
he has not gone to church in years he told me. and i asked him about a few different parts in the bible when i got stuck and he said that he didnt know, and went back to his game. see that is all he does, goes to work, comes home plays his playstation for 8-10 hours, asks for a back rubb and goes to bed. i bealy get to talk to him. i really just dont know what o do anymore. im hurtting deeo inside and i dont know how to fix it. i talked to him last night and he told me that his mother is telling him to devorce me because i have not read the bible and im not a good house wife or what ever the she said. we have not had sex for a month, i have been soo depressed that i have not done the deshs in 2 days, i just dont want to do anything. i love this man but if his mother just does not bud out i just think we might really get a devorce.
he told me this morning that she might be coming to viset around the 14th of this month. i mean damn, we need to get our strate before we bring anyone over. but i have no say in anything that goes on in this house, i just cook clean get yelled at and just i guess sit there and look purtty.
like i said i dont know what to do anymore. 40% of me just wants all the pain to end, 55% loves him and im trying to talk to him but he will not lisen. and the 5% is that i want to go find a nice warm spot and cry for hours.
You, feeling guilty and ashamed because his mother is a control person.
He, attending to his playstation and ignoring you.
Where do your needs and wants enter into this situation? They don't!
Read whatever you wish.
Ignore his mother. It is your marriage and your house.
If he wants to zone out and play with his game, fine, go out and find yourself a job. Let him get his own meals and wash and iron his own clothes. If he still doesn't know how, his mother will probably come to his rescue. If she attempts to tell you that you are a bad wife, tell her to please respect the fact that this is not her marriage, it's yours.
Adults talk about stuff, work things out. Children play with their toys and blame others for problems they should solve themselves. Ask him to take responsibility for being half of a partnership. Tell him what you need and want. Then the ball will be in his court.
simoneaugie, have to spend some rep. but you have it right.
Young lady, since you seem to be the only one looking out for you, I say do what makes you happy. Get a job, be around some sensible adults, and if this child and his mother decide he should divorce you, consider it the best thing, because staying in a marriage like this will not benefit you.
This man's mother seems to have him wrapped and tied. You will not be able to untie him. See if you can get him to go to counseling
i talked to my husband lastnite about her coming down and that it would be a bad time. we need to get our sh-it strate before we bring the monster-in-law back into my house. yes i know i siad monster. he said that its is fine with him and he agress that we nee to sit down and talk. he said that he would call his mother and tell her to wait alittle longer before coming down.
my family agress with me. i have a mix of religen on my side. i have my mom and dad that are not religes at all. my aunt (moms sis) and there father that a cristens and they still agree with me. that she should not be forcing the bible on me.
and just to let you all now im still reading it. or at least trying. its alittle diffacolt sometimes. im doing it for me and him. more for him, im also reading it to find virces to where his monster is worng and have her shut her yapper..
Bible study is a good thing. Knowing the word is good, but without knowing Christ, it is just head knowledge. Don't use you knowledge of the word to get back at your mother in law, you will be acting just like her if you do. It is not pleasing to God to use His word to debase someone.
Bible study is a good thing. Knowing the word is good, but without knowing Christ, it is just head knowledge. Don't use you knowledge of the word to get back at your mother in law, you will be acting just like her if you do. It is not pleasing to God to use His word to debase someone.
None of the scriptures are there to debase people but rather to help ones see where they can improve their lives and please God as Jesus demonstrated many times to those doing wrong. (1 Tim 3:16)
Anything that crazy picks up from the scriptures will be beneficial not only to herself but also her hubby and in-law.
Is there a father-in-law? What is his view? If he's still with his wife he should take the lead in telling her politely to back off and leave the young ADULTS to work out their own problems, not hers.
Those flippin video game consoles are a pain when immature adults get their hands on them. It definitely doesn't help with communication. I know of one wife who hid her husbands xbox for 2 weeks until he helped more round the house. Like some have already said, it's all about RESPONSIBILITY!
Crazy, read the scripture at Matt 19:3-6,vs 9 particularly. It's basically telling christians that the only grounds for divorce are if one has an affair. So if your MIL wants a divorce, ask her, is there something she knows that she's about her son that she's not telling you??
Homegirl has a good point though...you would find it less confusing if you studied the bible with someone with a fuller understanding of God's Word.
see if he will go to counseling with you, so that you can both work out the problem with an imparital party. tell him it's HIS duty as a promise he made in front of God upon marrying you to work through the bad times.
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