well this goes back a few moths ago. my husband and i got married little over a year ago. and at our 6month mark his mother came down to see us. well to make a long story short, she is a big christian, and im not. well i guess the way that the house was (it was alittle on the messy side) she called me a bad wife and said that in the bible that i am a wife that means that i need to cook, clean and wait on my husband hand and foot.
well i have no problum cooking and cleaning seance i have no job. but before she came down i did. a fulltime job i workd 35-40 hours a weeek. so it was little hard to do all that. plus i worked the graveyard shift. my husband is in the navy so he works 40-50 hours a week. but the thing is that he bearly helped out. i thought that being married its a team thing, i thought that we had to work together to make it work. but from what his mother yelled at me it is MY job to work, keep the house clean, and have dinner ready for my husband when he got home. im sorry, but i think that is a little much to ask from one person.

well last night my husband and i got into alittle thing again, and the bable came up again. well now he wants me to read it...... well i have never even opened a bible. to make him happy i opened it and read the 2nd page and it told me that im going to hell.... lol like i didnt know that one already. but because im not a beliver and i have sined (like he hasent) im going to be put into the lake of fire.

anyways, i read like the firist 3 1/2 chapters and now my brain hurts. i dont know where all these other wemen came from. i mean from what i read eve had 3 sons, one died. but the others had wives, and there onw kids..... so where did these other wemen come from??????

i dont know if i should keep reading or just stop.

see this is my husbands idea. he grow up around the bible. the only time that i have entered a church is to bapties my 2 cusens, and my aunt.

i grew up thinking that we came from munkeys. the whole evaluation thing.... i mean im 21my whole life that is the only thing that i knew, and he knew this when we got married. so this is not a new thing for him, he said that was ok with him. he didnt mind, but all of a suden he does...... what is up with that.

i love him to death, and i guess all i want to know is that should i keep reading or not.
i just dont feel comfrtable reading it. what should i do.
am i in the worng????

sadface

If you are not comfortable reading it then you shouldnt feel obliged at least you tried and im sure your husband can see that - however - im sure we didnt really come from monkeys lol, evolution yes.

Also his mother shouldnt speak to u like that.

amIwrong

WOW! Well, religion is a very touchy subject in relationships specifically if two people can't agree. Your husband and his mom need to respect you and your beliefs as much as you respect them for theirs. If you want to be a christian and do as the bible says you should do so b/c you want to, not b/c you feel you have to. I would think any christian would want to see a person do what isn't in their heart, otherwise they are a hypocrite.

Unfortunately, this is also playing a part in your marriage and your role as a wife. What I mean is, if he and your mother-in-law are using the bible to say that a marriage is not a supposed to be a team effort then they are almost forcing you to do what they want or else. I am very sorry you are in this situation. Honeslty, some compromise has to be made between you and your husband. His mom is part of your family now, but this is not her marriage to dictate. She does not share a bed with you or him. He may be demanding you be a certain way partly b/c she may be putting the heat on him, but, as an adult he needs to man up and ask her not to complicate his marriage so that you two can sort this out on your terms, not hers.

Lastly, she needs to respect you. The house, work outside the house, religion, whatever, he choose you to spend his life with. She she needs to respect that, and he needs to back you up. If you and he have disagreements, then that's between you two. I get the feeling she thinks her son is perfect, and if she keeps getting involved in your marriage like this then he will have a hard time working out conflict is she is insinuating to him that he is and your terrible. In a way, she may be jealous, since your the top dog in his life now. I think this is the "punk factor" if she pushes you around, she will do so so long as your married to him. I am not saying be confrontational, I just mean, don't let her make you a punk. What's next, telling you how to raise your children when you have some, etc. It will never stop unles syou both make sure to make it stop.

JBeaucaire

The Bible can be a pretty intimidating read, especially if you start in Genesis. As a non-Christian, if you really want to read it cold, start in the New Testament.

As for your situation, let me simplify...you're all correct. When two people are married and both work, both should help at home or the house will suffer. That's all. Typically, men still don't do ALL they could at home, so usually a two-income means a less-tidy home. And since it's your home, that's just fine.

As for a "biblical" home, mom is just being simplistic. When only the man works outside the home, it is already assumed by everyone, even you two I bet, that your job is housewife. This is actually a full-time job and usually much harder than the 1-thing job men have at their work. But this is still essentially a division of labor and works when everyone agrees this is the environment we are striving for.

In my home, we have had both. The years we had children, we were a traditional one-income family and my wife ran the household professionally. When they graduated, she went to work outside the home and now we split the work at home...or hire it out to 3rd parties.

Everyone is correct in this situation, all versions are "right". Mom's insistence that her opinion is right over all else isn't a Christian opinion, it's an over-bearing Mother's opinion. Don't blame God for Christians, He's trying to snap them out of their self-focus, too.

Evolution...this probably falls into the "who cares" category right now. You have to deal with your other exploration of faith before mixing things like this in. Ultimately, you seek to develop a world view that allows for the possibility of the existence of God before trying to test the mettle of any actual religions. Religions are ok, but religious people can be REALLY hard to take.

Even Jesus couldn't stand religious people. They wield their beliefs like weapons against people they should actually be helping.

For instance, that problem with her criticizing your house, Jesus faced that situation and told the busy-body cleaner-upper types to cool it, and spend more time focusing on goodness and the people...He had it right then and you will always succeed if you focus on "goodness" instead of reiligious tradition.

Anyway, you're married to a Christian. It is a loving thing to do to learn and understand the things that are important to your mate, so reading the Bible is a fine idea, but not from the beginning. Visit a Bible bookstore and let them know you want to read through the Bible but have no history in Bible study, they should be able to provide an easier to read translation of the Bible and some very useful study guides that bounce you around a bit as you read through it, but also make it much easier to comprehend and absorb.

Good reading.

N0help4u

If you are going to read the Bible read Romans, James, Corinthians and other things in the New Testament. You could also type in the search engine on the computer for bible studies on particular subjects you want to understand.
Maybe this site will help you some. Biblical Christian Teachings - Christian Bible Teaching - Christ-Centered Mall

crazyhousewife

i am not working at the moment. i am looking for a job. i do clean. kinda. i do the deshes everyday and wash the close everyother day. there is just the 2 of us so there is not that much cleaning. i have dinner ready when he gets home, i make his lunch for work, i iron his unaform before he goes to work, when he asks for something i getup and get it for him. i dont know what else to do. he goes to work, comes home and plays his playstation. we have not had sex in a month. he does not even look at me the same way that he did when we got married. the first 2 weeks of my marriage was like a dream. 3 times a day everyday.... OMG :P . anyways, but now its like only when he wants it, and we have not done it in awhile. its like he is a different person.
but what is going on between us goes a little deaper then just the bible, but i thought if i could get a little help on this prouble and we could just maybe agree on atleast one thing. i talk to him yesturday about what some of you said ( i posted the samething in the religen part) and he sad that he was still upset that i GAVEUP reading it. and he would like for mw to give it another try. but after reading what you guys said i think that if he wants me to read it, i would want to go to the book stor and get a copy that i pickout, something that i cant read and understand.
is it me am i just blowing this out of context??? should i just give in and read it to make him happy??

Moparbyfar

Just be aware that some 'easier' translations of the bible have less attention to accuracy so ask yourself if you do decide to read IT, is it because you want to please your husband and don't really care what you're reading, or is it because you are genuinely interested in finding out what reflects Gods thoughts the most accurately?  Your motives will help you decide which translation to read.  I read and study the New World Translation as some linguists and scholars who researched the most common bibles used today have found this version to be the most accurate and non-bias.
BTW, sounds like he should be reading it too, properly!   Hope it all works out for you.

donf

I don't you where you are going or really what you should do. As to your mother-in-law and her being "Christian" that is her issue not yours.

Of course you could always toss back at her that Christ ordered us to "Love one another, as I have loved thee."

Christianity, at least in my view (I'm Roman Catholic) is not meant to be a yoke of burdens to be suffered through. To me it is a freeing doctrine. It helps us to, "Fear Not."

mustard_seed

Housewife, please try to understand that for some women, if they do not hand pick the woman for their sons they will forever flap their gums. I agree with "donf", do not allow her issues to become your own.

While you have the available time, try reading biblical stories for starters. Within them you will discover just how exciting life was in those times, as well as how current the troubles of those people are within today's crazy world. Go to 'biblestoriesforadults' web site. Even if you decide that becoming a Christian is not for you, you will have another shared experience with your man.

mustard_seed

For your in-law:

Jesus said: "Let him who is without sin, cast the first stone".

This bible story was concerning a female prostitute who was caught in "the very act" of adultery and confronted by the men of the town in front of Jesus. He spoke these words to her accusers. They all walked away without saying a word. Some were probably her customers (smile). Jesus asked the woman, " Where are your accusers?" She replied they all left. He then told her, "Go and sin no more." (John 8:11).

This is what Christ has called us to do. Forgive and forget ( that's what it means to turn the other cheek), not beat each other down if they see us lacking on any level--looks, skills or understanding.