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MEGUEL KELLY · Nov 13, 2009, 09:47 AM

I met a guy three years ago whilst he was on a break from his wife. We fell in love he told her about me and she wanted him back... He went as she played the emotional card and threatened to commit suicide. We had no contact after that. He then called me recently and told me he was going through the process of divorce would I meet up for a drink with him. I did he stayed the weekend> When he returned home his wife wants him back again even thought she Knows about me. He says it was her idea to get the divorce in the first place as she doesn't want him.. What next?

redhed35 · Nov 13, 2009, 09:55 AM

Really,if he was going to leave he would be gone by now... it would seem there are a lot of problems in his marriage,but you only have his word on that...

He's cheating.

You're the other women.

My advice is to move on,and let him get on with his own problems..

zippit · Nov 13, 2009, 09:58 AM

What's next is you are proubably going to follow suit and wait for this guy to decide what's next.
How about taking the lead in your life dumping this looser and moving on.

Cat1864 · Nov 13, 2009, 10:19 AM

She's playing games with him. Someday, maybe he will figure out that she doesn't want him, however, she doesn't want anyone else to have him (you, in particular) either.

You need to step back and let them handle their own problems. It may take another three years, but don't accept any more phone calls, emails, etc. from him until he has signed divorce papers in his hand. Even then, I think she will still find a way to guilt trip him into doing what she wants.

Go back to living your own life. I am sure that you have met other men over the years who were better suited to what you need in a mate. Don't allow his memory to cloud your perception of other men. Just learn the lesson that it is better to date men who are over their exes (wives or girlfriends). If they aren't there is always a chance the previous relationship will have stronger ties for them.

Just don't beat yourself up over this. You haven't done anything wrong other than getting involved with a man who can't see past his "wife's" manipulations.

SVImager · Nov 13, 2009, 10:21 AM

Yep... You only lose at the end.

1. Getting mixed up in their rollercoaster issues.
2. Wasting your time & opportunity of meeting someone else.
3. You are being just the rebound.
4. Your presence only makes her want him back.

Let them sort it out.

Jake2008 · Nov 14, 2009, 09:13 AM

If he has cheated on his wife twice with you, I suspect that he's had a history of cheating with other women as well.

Each time he goes back, he has made a decision to stay married, regardless of what the reasons are. We can't presume that the wife is the manipulator here, as you too have been a 'victim', and more likely than not, he is the manipulator.

He says she is aware of you, maybe she is, maybe she isn't. Maybe he is saying that, while begging for forgiveness, that he made a mistake in a one night stand, and now she is threatening suicide.

Why would you believe anything a cheating, married man has to say. And more importantly, why would you decide to have an affair with a married man in the first place. He should be the last person on your list to date.

We can tell you to dump him all we like, but the problem as I see it, is you have been duped, and you can't see it. I hope his wife dumps him, and I hope you dump him. Let him take his sad stories somewhere else.

2ndTime · Nov 14, 2009, 05:18 PM

I agree with everyone that you are his booty to keep around the side. He tells you he'll divorce soon, just to get into your pants. Tell him to go away and don't come back to you until his divorce is complete.

jmjoseph · Nov 14, 2009, 05:49 PM

Tell him the "booty store " is closed.

Go find someone who will treat you right. Not someone who treats you like a sex toy.

Catsmine · Nov 15, 2009, 04:09 AM

Is a booty call every couple of years worth the uncertainty and self-doubt you're going through now? Only you can answer that, and you're the only one that needs to know the answer.

A weekend long booty call can be pretty awesome, but three years in between? Really?

Gemini54 · Nov 15, 2009, 02:02 PM

Ooooh... I would NOT be believing anything this worm says. Sorry to he harsh but he sounds like a serial cheater and you're his booty call.

You only have his word about what he tells his wife and what his wife says - clearly he knows you're a soft touch, and that you're available.

Make yourself unavailable. This man is not worth your affection, love or energy. There are no happy endings with him. You deserve MUCH better.