I went to a bachelor party

inthedogbox · Aug 1, 2007, 05:54 AM

I went to a bachelor party "weekend" in Myrtle beach with 10 guys. It ended up Saturday night in a strip club. I did not tell my wife but when she asked id did tell her. Now she has gone of the deep end. What can i do?

Sad Soul · Sep 28, 2007, 04:27 PM

I don't personally care about strip clubs. I'm sure most american women would say this (unless they are religious) because it is a part of our culture and society.

Strippers and strip clubs are a part of our culture, and that's why we go to them prior to weddings. It's culture.

With this in mind, I would also say it's hard to know if one truly cares or not, OR whether we don't question the idea because it is the norm (AKA culture).

Questioning it, I would think it is a little ironic that prior to what is suppose to be a celebration of being with the woman he loves, a man is taught to celebrate by trying to use up the last chances he has with getting to see other women naked and all over him.

I don't know? I'm a little confused. I feel that I don't care, but logically I feel as though I should.

???

AdvicePlease · Sep 28, 2007, 05:41 PM

Thanks star3114, Thanks Sad Soul :-)

Yes, I'm confused about that as well "Sad Soul" (interesting thought though)

Looks like my wife has gone out to dinner with her friends (without me) which means she's still mad or else I would've been invited. I'm sure she's letting her friends know about what happened so they can all be mad at me now as well. One of her friends even asked if she wanted to stay at her house for the night. My gosh...was what I did so bad to warrant that? In fact, that's the same friend that assumingly kept asking me, "so what else are you going to do at the bachelor party other than have strippers?" I have a feeling that's how my wife got the wonder in her head about strippers...I don't know

Am I talking about this subject too much? I'll stop if I'm rambling :-)

talaniman · Sep 29, 2007, 09:05 AM

You have posted this on August 1st, and she is still mad about this Sept 29th????? Thats way over the line. I can see 2/3 days to make a point but if I'm right about the dates.....................................Now I would be mad as hell. Wait I see now we have TWO guys in the doghouse. Wonder what happened to the OP?

Advice please, I can see being mad, but a week for what I see is no big deal, Thats a little much, and after 3 days we would have to talk, or I WOULD be mad as heck!!

AdvicePlease · Sep 29, 2007, 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

You have posted this on August 1st, and she is still mad about this Sept 29th????? Thats way over the line. I can see 2/3 days to make a point but if I'm right about the dates.....................................Now I would be mad as hell. Wait I see now we have TWO guys in the doghouse. Wonder what happened to the OP?

Advice please, I can see being mad, but a week for what I see is no big deal, Thats a little much, and after 3 days we would have to talk, or I WOULD be mad as heck!!

Hi Talaniman, sorry for the confusion. I saw this thread which "inthedogbox" started and I added to it that I was in the same situation as "inthedogbox". I'm "AdvicePlease" not "inthedogbox." You nice folks have been helping out with your thoughts and suggestions :-) My incident occurred Sept. 23rd (last Sunday) (day after bachelor party). I'm trying not to be mad too cause it just basically makes it worse. However, I've been bringing home her favorite foods to eat. She's been eating them so that's a good sign but I can tell she's still mad plus she left me at home on Friday (yesterday) night. I just watched some tv and went to bed.

Not sure what else I can do other than wait it out and see what happens...

talaniman · Sep 29, 2007, 09:22 AM

She is putting you thru the wringer. You have more patience than I do, Better make those reservations and get it over with.

star3114 · Sep 29, 2007, 10:17 AM

Well, if she is not willing to reason. Give her the space. Leave. Not permanently of course, but she wont fizzle down with you there. It takes a lot of energy to be mad at someone that long. She is forcing herself to be mad at you....and the friend is probably helping. I would leave. Do you have kids that this would be an issue?

AdvicePlease · Sep 29, 2007, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by star3114

Well, if she is not willing to reason. Give her the space. Leave. Not permanently of course, but she wont fizzle down with you there. It takes a lot of energy to be mad at someone that long. She is forcing herself to be mad at you....and the friend is probably helping. I would leave. Do you have kids that this would be an issue?

Thanks Star3114,

Yes, I guess it does take a lot of energy to stay mad.
We don't have any kids (yet).

star3114 · Sep 29, 2007, 01:08 PM

I would leave. Let her simmer down and ask her self if being this mad is really worth it. Eventually she will have to calm down. It will expedite the self-reflection process if you remove yourself from the picture. I would plan on staying away for a couple of days to a week. Make sure you pack and everything when she is not there. Grab everything you need so you don't have to contact her to get something. Leave a note where she can see it that says something like " I am sorry you are still mad. You apparently need some time by yourself to calm down and think. When you are ready to talk, you can reach me at XXX-XXXX. I love you." Then sign your name.
Do you have a friend or such that you can stay with during this time?

star3114 · Sep 29, 2007, 01:09 PM

During that time, do not contact her. Wait for her to contact you.

AdvicePlease · Sep 29, 2007, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by star3114

During that time, do not contact her. Wait for her to contact you.

Thanks star3114

Hmmm, my wife has left the house again. I suspect she was hungry. Earlier I asked if she was hungry and if she wanted to go get something to eat. I think she wanted to say yes but she remained silent so I walked away (we usually like to eat out on the weekends).

The leaving the house and waiting for her to call thing would be a bold move on my part. Knowing her I'm hesitant in a sense it would make the situation worse?? However, I do see your point. I'm just not sure if I should it do it or not :-)

I haven't mentioned this but my wife is a criminal defense attorney. Arguing is her realm. She doesn't like to give in unless she highly respects that person and right now I think I'm at the bottom (whether I deserve to be there or not).

We haven't had an issue/fight/argument or whatever it's called in a while so this is kind of wierd.