I went to a bachelor party

inthedogbox · Aug 1, 2007, 06:54 AM

I went to a bachelor party "weekend" in Myrtle beach with 10 guys. It ended up Saturday night in a strip club. I did not tell my wife but when she asked id did tell her. Now she has gone of the deep end. What can i do?

AdvicePlease · Sep 28, 2007, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by inthedogbox

I went to a bachelor party "weekend" in Myrtle beach with 10 guys. It ended up Saturday night in a strip club. I did not tell my wife but when she asked id did tell her. Now she has gone of the deep end. What can i do?

Ayy....this just happened to me too. I went to my pal's bachelor party last Saturday and I've been in the doghouse ever since. Almost, one week now and she's still so mad at me.

talaniman · Sep 28, 2007, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nicespringgirl

What is a bachelor party? who are eligible to attend?

When a guy is getting married his buddies get together and throw him a bachelor party, with a lot of drinking and a few strippers, who put on a show, and the men whoop and holler to celebrate his last days of freedom. Or they go to a gentlemen's club, and whoop holler and celebrate.

talaniman · Sep 28, 2007, 12:41 PM

Let her be mad for as long as she wants. Leave her alone.

AdvicePlease · Sep 28, 2007, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Let her be mad for as long as she wants. Leave her alone.

Hi Talaniman...ok I will

Unfortunately, his wedding is coming up next weekend so if my wife doesn't cool off we don't know if we will be attending now. It's an out of town wedding.

Before, I went to the bachelor party last weekend my wife asked me if there were going to be any strippers there. She said if there were I need to close my eyes. I told her I don't think there would be any. Plus, I had nothing to do with the planning and only knew 2 people there. The next day my wife kept asking me if there any strippers. I didn't want to say, "Yes" at first to make her feel better, but, in these type of situations does a guy tell or ?? I eventually said Yes and now my wife has a trust issue with me all of a sudden. Is she over-reacting or am I fool for not adherring to that old saying "what happens here stays here?"

Of course, I made the mistake of getting mad too after she did (which I shouldn't have) because I thought she kept asking just because out of curiosity of what goes on at a bachelor party.

I guess I have a lot of "yes, dear" to say in the future...

talaniman · Sep 28, 2007, 02:42 PM

You told the truth and thats all you can do. Getting mad didn't help. Let her cool off, and really think on it. Be a good boy, and give her space as you have nothing to be ashamed of, and she should know that. After a few days she should be able to at least talk, but I let my wife make the first move when she is mad.

Quote:

I guess I have a lot of "yes, dear" to say in the future...

That should have been your reaction to her questions in the first place.

AdvicePlease · Sep 28, 2007, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

You told the truth and thats all you can do. Getting mad didn't help. Let her cool off, and really think on it. Be a good boy, and give her space as you have nothing to be ashamed of, and she should know that. After a few days she should be able to at least talk, but I let my wife make the first move when she is mad.

That should have been your reaction to her questions in the first place.

Thanks Talaniman :-)

Sad Soul · Sep 28, 2007, 04:42 PM

I don't think your wife truly cares that much about strip clubs, but I do think she cares to see if you care.

Do you understand what I'm saying? I know tradition has made it so it's a norm for people to go to pay people to take their clothing off for them (prior to getting married)...and tradition has made it so that if any one finds a problem with their lover attending these things, they are to be called "insecure" or "what? what day and age is this kid from?"

Anyway, for me personally, I don't care. But what I would care about is whether my husband thinks about respecting me enough to not go. Do you get what I'm saying? Like even if I don't give a two cents about the stip clubs, I would give a two cents to see if my boyfriend or husband, out of respect, just doesn't want to go see other girls shaking their breasts and "what's inbetween their legs" at him.

AdvicePlease · Sep 28, 2007, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sad Soul

I don't think your wife truly cares that much about strip clubs, but I do think she cares to see if you care.

Do you understand what I'm saying? I know tradition has made it so it's a norm for people to go to pay people to take their clothing off for them (prior to getting married)...and tradition has made it so that if any one finds a problem with their lover attending these things, they are to be called "insecure" or "what? what day and age is this kid from?"

Anyway, for me personally, I don't care. But what I would care about is whether my husband thinks about respecting me enough to not go. Do you get what I'm saying? Like even if I don't give a two cents about the stip clubs, I would give a two cents to see if my boyfriend or husband, out of respect, just doesn't want to go see other girls shaking their breasts and "what's inbetween their legs" at him.

Yes, she definately cares to see if I care. However, she feels that I have cheated on her now since I saw strippers take it off at the bachelor party. Is that how most woman feel from a female point of view? I took no participation with the gals. We just watched them do their thing with the groom-to-be and laughed as they teased & messed with him. The only thing I did was add a few bucks like everyone else did (five $1s at most) then I moved over to the other room to watch tv and eat some more food and played some poker. If that's bad. Sorry. Then, I need to understand how my spouse thinks more. My wife is quite conservative and I'm moderately liberal. This is where a lot of our opinions bump heads. We don't have much in common other than we loved each other enough to get hitched (3 yrs) ago despite our differences . It's the differences in how we think that gets me trouble. I'm just more liberal about things, however, I'm the cook, the housecleaner, the bill (includes vacations) payer, etc.. I think I'm a pretty good husband. She should know I'm there for her. And, I verbalize it too (once in a while) ;-)

Will I go to another bachelor party? Probably not. Especially not to be in the dogbox like this.

AdvicePlease · Sep 28, 2007, 05:07 PM

sorry, "inthedogbox" for taking over your thread where the posts stopped off ;-)

star3114 · Sep 28, 2007, 05:16 PM

Okay, from the female point of view...I don't have issues with my husband going to strip club...I even went with his friends and him and cheered on the girls. My sister isn't as liberal and she would have gotten pissy in the situation you mentioned. I would go to your wife say..."I love you sweetie, nothing happened that night and I will always love you. I married you and not them. I am dedicated to you...you are my one and only. We may have disagreements, but it is how we handle them that determines the merit of our marriage. Because I love you so much, I have a suprise ." Then take her to her favorite restaurant and take her dancing or whatever she enjoys. Show her that you can have a fantastic time with her. That will cover all of the reasons why she is mad at you. Also, sending her flowers prior to all of this....or after all of this as an extra suprise would be a plus. Good luck