Just got into a small arguement with my husband about me not having the same interests as him.. such as walking, countryside, assembling stuff etc.. while i like to chill more! like if we at beach i like to sunbath and he doesnt!

He said that he just puts up with it!

We been together 10 yrs
has it come to an end?

JBeaucaire

He's pointing out that part of being married is TAKING an interest in the things your spouse enjoys. You do it because you have bonded yourself to this person for all time. This is one of the key things commited people do...become fans of and participants in the life of their mate.

You don't need to do everything all the time, you just need to do it frequently. Because that's what this kind of love is about.

I HATE house hunting and going to open houses. I hate exercise and shopping. I "give in" on the shopping and house hunting several times every month. That lets me off the hook on the exercise thing. BUT...I am the one who buys all the exercise equipment for her and encourages her daily workouts. So in this way I appear to be involved, as well.

In return, she lets me drag her on my weekend outings, day trips and house projects.

You've been married a long time. Too long for the "spark" to stay alive on its own. You need to practice dating with your guy again. If you two were courting, trying to get in good with another, you would be much more creative, much more willing to do things just because they wanted to. That's what dating is like. But GREAT marriages keep that behavior forever.

sadface

We are total opposites with different interests.
When he said - he just puts up with it made me believe that he isnt 100% happy! I mean believe me i dont believe in perfection but the way he said me made me sad.
We didnt speak last night and slept on sofa and this mornin he left for work with out saying good bye.

Yesterday it started when we went to get our new desk. And we had to build it up and i helped him a little and then we got on to the conversation were i said i wud have paid someone to come and build it and she said you are not capable of doing it and i said i dont get enjoyment out of this! and i dont! all the house we did it up alone coz he wants to do it - so i dont get it.

Is he fedup of me after 10 yrs?

Greg Quinn

Marriage is not 100% happy.
I'm thinking he would like some help. I hate washing pots and pans... But I do.
In my relationship, my GF and I had to build a huge home gym together. I look back and loved the fact that we were doing something hands on together.
I think some effort needs to be made in order to repair your marriage. Why did you marry him in the first place? You must have had some common interests. Its odd to me, I see people in relationships that last forever, and the man is always doing one thing and the wife is always doing something else. If you ask them if their happy, they say "YES!! And check out our flower garden."

sadface

oh believe me i dont believe 100% perfection.

but him to say he puts up with it!!

He saw how upset it made me. i cried in the bathroom and he didnt even say nothing. i didnt cry infront of him.

He said i dont take interest. But how can i not take interest wen i let him do up the house alone like he wants to.

What do u suggest...? he wont even call me today i know it

Greg Quinn

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I'm not sure what you should do or say, you have been with him for ten years, maybe you should sit down with him tonight and discuss what you would like from each other in terms of effort. You have to both work together to establish what the problem is and work on a solution. maybe you can find something you can do together, like watch the Sopranos series. LOL... Something you can both enjoy and make part of your routine.

sadface

I have tried to speak to him and all he says is - that all we do is what i wanna do!
We do watch series together...
i dont know its like my heart is giving up on us.
I cant speak to him

sadface

he also said i aint active enough

I said we went skiing last month and i skied he said only for 2 mins!!

Fr_Chuck

If you are not that active he may well be worried about your health, because people do need to exercise.
But for heavens sake couples who are in love should be having alot of disagreements. And to be honest he may be right, you may not exercise enough, but then you don't have to either if you don't want to, so you disagree ?? so what, if you did not disagree with your husban some then I would be really worried about the relationship.

sadface

he knows i need motivation to get to the gym or go for walks - so does he never suggest it? or goahead get a membership for us to go together.
No he doesnt!
Im starting to think that after 10 yrs maybe its time for us to go our seperate ways.

i know deep down he loves me - but if he is with me coz he loves me and just puts up with my interests and wat we do toegther is that good enough?