I love my husband and don't want to leave, but I wonder if he can change or if I'll be unhappy (in ways) forever. The problem is that he's totally inconsiderate in any way imagineable. It seems like I put a lot more efforts into his happiness than he puts towards mine. I guess it's just how my mind works, I'm always thinking of others before myself and it really bothers me that he doesn't.

Specific examples: he's a slob. I do all housework, and he makes no effort to do simple things like put laundry in the hamper or put a dish in the sink. I don't want him to help around the house, just to be aware of his "tornado effect" and responsible for putting things where they belong.

He lacks in hygiene and appearance. He showers, but things like teeth brushing and other little things are sometimes lacking. Dresses like a slob and doesn't tie his shoes (he knows that irritates me! ). I keep up my appearance for my own good and for him.

Sex... he's totally selfish. I do everything, (sorry if it's TMI), I enjoy the sex itself, but feel like I'm providing "services" for him all the time. It's like it's always up to me to do new things or to go the extra mile. I'm not going to cut him off, but I just wish he'd put the moves on me in a way that makes me feel wanted for something other than a good time. I also feel like I'm in charge of everything all day long by running the household, I don't always want to be in charge during sex.

I basically feel like a caregiver/housekeeper/whore. Which I wouldn't necessarily mind, if I got a little back once in a while!

How can I get him to realize and appreciate all the things I do for him and that all I want is a little bit of attention? I want him to "work" for me like he did in the beginning!

Sorry this is a bit long...