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New to the site . Just have heard that there some good advise .
Ok . Is it possible to be totally in love w/ two people? One being your spouse and the other a friend ?
New to the site . Just have heard that there some good advise .
Ok . Is it possible to be totally in love w/ two people? One being your spouse and the other a friend ?
I love my husband dearly . I also love his bf . But in totally different ways . I am having issues hurting the other man . When I am w/ my husband my attention and love is all his . The same for the one . Any advise ?
Your greater loyalty is obviously to your husband at this point. If you wish to pursue his best friend, you have something of an obligation to him to be honest and request a divorce. Though, in which case you will undoubtedly destroy their friendship. Is it really worth that?
His best friend as well, needs to consider the feelings of your husband. Otherwise he's not really much of a friend at all, to either of you.
Be aware that this could ultimately backfire on you as well. A famous example...
Have you ever heard the song "Layla" by Derek and The Dominoes? This song was written about Eric Clapton's feelings for George Harrison's then wife. Ultimately their friendship endured, and the wife was left out in the cold.
You say that you love your husband and his best friend but in totaly different ways. Do these totaly different ways both involve sex. If it didn't I could see how you might love two men differently and it work out if the husband liked the guy enough to feel the same way about him as you do. But when you bring sex into the equation you are only butting a time period on the entire situation. Sooner or later it is all going to explode.
I love my "best friend" who is a guy (been my best friend since school) but that's what it is: FRIEND. I KNOW that probably, if I wanted, I could have taken it further (he's single and I'm married), but I don't see the point in ruining a MARRIAGE and a friendship. THe situation has never arised because I SET BOUNDARIES THAT ARE UNSPOKEN AND UNDERSTOOD. If I'm to the point of seeking a "relationship" with another man, I'll leave my husband FIRST out of sheer respect for him. My friend is just as much my husband's friend as mine, so that's where our situation is similar. I think that if you were happy and/or content, you would have never been in this position to let this happen. Men will not pursue a married woman (especially their best friends' wife) unless they feel the signal of the "green light" from her (I'm sure there's exceptions, but this is my opinion).
Remember, there's HONOR in stepping up to the plate in an unhappy relationship WITHOUT having someone on the back burner. You don't have to have someone waiting on standby for when things get sour.....Im assuming you're maybe having problems that haven't surfaced? Look deep within yourself to figure this out instead of someone else, trust me, I'm "one of the guys" (normally)----most of the guys talk to me and my husband like I'm not even a female about these kind of things. What I've gathered from years of these conversations is that guys who have "shared" the same woman (regardless of nature--sexual or not) ....ESPECIALLY if they're best friends they will stick together a lot better than with a woman/partner who's not loyal.
So my answer is yes, you can love 2 men in different ways, but only appropriate ways. And if it were appropriate, you probably wouldn't be seeking advice. Rember, there's HONOR in loyalty, and if you can't be loyal, be HONEST.
As long as you respect the boundries of marriage and friendship you can not only love many people, but can enjoy these relationships forever, with No guilt or baggage, or drama. The best of ALL worlds.
Thank you all for your advise. It really help me think . Although as of right now I am torn. Yes sex has happened w/ the bf, but ... it is almost like when I am with him , it is only him . At the same time I have my life w/ my husband ( which is wonderful , practically a perfect life. ) and when I am home w/ my 4 kids , it is only them .
We all have been friends for many many years so this nonthing that has just came up. I believe it is true and I am confused. Thank you all for your advise.
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